 it will always be. about me. the others. memories past. home |
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it will always be. about me. the others. memories past. home |
| This is depressing. |
Feb 8th, 2005 7:55:04 pm - Subscribe |
| Everything about this past week (be it only Tuesday) has been craaaap. I'm sure many can agree, huh? I mean, school started, for me anyway, and that's just really too much right now, I'm nto emotionally stable and I can't even explain it. And I figure, I can get through it, I'll have Zander to talk with ...so msn has screwed up MANY times, so we're switching to yahoo. Well, only for msn pulls a lame attack, but yah. We'll beat msn. Today was crap. I came home after second period, which is parenting. Crappy. But I couldn't put up with the day. I feel bad for skipping school already, I mean, the second day ...I can't believe how sad I am. Last night, I slipped. I told my mom I was planning to move out this summer. She didn't take it no where near the way I thought she would. She flipped! "You're too young! I won't allow it!" We talked about it later that night, my mom told me she over reacted because a lot was going on (My brother was threatening to commit suicide). So I don't blame her for getting so upset. But still ...that really hurt. She made me feel so guilty, "Marlene, you're the only light in my life, the only thing I can look forward to." How can a daughter leave her mother after that! I mean, it's one thing just moving out, but away from a single parent who has nothing. I mean ...I know for sure I want to move out, and I will if I can, since my mom just said she needed to think about it ...but it would be hard. I'm so confused. Would visiting her fairly often be enough? ...I wouldn't be leaving an amazing life behind or anything. All that's here is school and arguments. All me and my mom do is fight, and it's stressful. She always tells me she wants me out of her life. I know she doesn't mean it, but i can't put up with it anymore. I think it would be better for me to live with Zander. I would probably improve greatly in school, be much happier, and ...have more of a family. I am almost 18, isn't this ok to want? I hope it doesn't make me selfish.  ~Marlene |
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| mood: confused Current Tune: Neutral Milk Hotel - Oh Comely |
(7) sat behind the drumset. |
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crowsblood |
February 08th, 2005 |
| You've got my favorite colors on your blog. I'd do it myself, but I have to stick with the color theme of the name "CrowsBlood," or I'd feel awkward. | ||
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marlene |
February 08th, 2005 |
Purple is my favorite, and blue is my boyfriend's, go great together.  |
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david |
February 08th, 2005 |
| When I moved out of my parents house, my mom took it really hard. I moved 144 miles away from my hometown to the big city. But listen, when you move in with someone everything changes, and I do mean everything. Good luck marlene. | ||
| deathcab4u |
February 08th, 2005 |
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Hey, It's really hard for a parent to let go. My mom for example, I'm 18 in 6 days and I still don't have my license. It's hard for them to give up something they've had for sooo long. Think about it, shes loved you for 18 years(through arguments and unintended words) and now she has to let go? Don't be afraid though, it may be on bad terms when it happens, but you will both be happier when its over.  . I had two older siblings who are both married(not to each other mind you), Im an uncle already, and again in april. . Long comment...I know, but i like telling you things =P |
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evie |
February 09th, 2005 |
| I dont think it's selfish. you're doing the right thing. it will be hard for a while but everyone will get used to it. you can be your mother's light by phone and visits. |
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paperdoll |
February 09th, 2005 |
| good luck. and i hope things get a bit easier for u | ||
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marlene |
February 09th, 2005 |
| Oh wow, everyone ...you help so much. I could never handle any of this on my own, and it just makes me feel so much better having a second opinion, you know? Thanks! Lol, Deathcab, I like hearing things! =P |
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