So much for shooting stars. I thought I knew what love was. Apparently love is getting hurt and still wanting to forgive the person.
Nay. Love to me will always be that bi-curiosity that slowly transitioned into alcoholic haze and unsatisfied longing for what once was.
Girls hurt me the most often. Guys send me into drunken slumber. I may never understand my sexuality. I may never know what love is.
I wish to do away with close relationships. I want to pack up my Xu and move to a city where no one knows me or anyone I once knew. I want to live for me and my future. Life is an unnecessary, complicated nuisance.
0 Comments
Mood: good
Currently Listening To: No Music
femmeemoBecause the sky is blue. Nov 10th, 2009 3:36:52 pm - Subscribe
It makes me cry.
I've been listening to The Beatles all morning. It's nearly all-encompassing. I feel overwhelmed today. I feel like not enough today. I feel.
I want to sleep for weeks, eat for days, and cry until my eyes ooze from my face. This irrational depressive state is starting to wear at my nerves. As if it is any sort of positive for me.
I would prefer to go home, instead of moping at work. I could finish my book. I could have a nap. I could...
Well. Really. The possibilities are nearly unending.
Remember, Remember the fifth of November.
The gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
should ever be forgot...
Remembrance Day soon approaches. I wonder about how the world has changed so drastically for us. How there is no forcible enlistment. No sad war-torn families. No weeping widows, commonly on the corners.
And yet. And yet.
Sadness is perpetual. At least at times of war, there is hope. And a nation pulls together...
What do we have now. Besides Fat, Consumeristic Complacency?
Depression.
-
0 Comments
Mood: Irritable.
Currently Listening To: If I Fell.
deathcab4uHello, Link on my Favorites Bar Nov 9th, 2009 8:46:32 pm - Subscribe
For sake of simplicity I use Safari.
It has a nice little favorites bar.
This Blog is on that bar.
It's crazy how I can see something everyday and not really notice it or give real thought to it.
Today was weird for me. I convinced myself of something silly. But I held to my decision about silly thoughts like that, which is not to get carried away by them.
Go figure that I was right and that i was thinkin crazy thoughts. Closer and closer to handling my feelings I am.
Soon my roommate will be home. Hello Duvel Golden Ale and dicking around on my iPhone.
Well, Open Office should be downloaded by now (Was super slow to getting it on this comp). Going to update the good ol resume and get busy.
Money is the only thing I like more than women or myself...and the best thing in the world is all of those things together at the same time!
0 Comments
Mood: pleased with myself
Currently Listening To: The Avett Brothers-I and Love and You
davidRoad Runner Turbo Speed Test Nov 9th, 2009 8:20:05 pm - Subscribe
Here is my residential internet speed test for November 09 2009. As you can see my the graphic below, I'm a proud customer of Time Warner Cable.
I have nothing else to type. The chart speaks for it's self.
0 Comments
Mood: good
Currently Listening To: No Music
evieThe Meeting Nov 9th, 2009 12:39:04 pm - Subscribe
We used her and tortured her.
We never expected her to burn.
We carelessly mixed chemicals because we could.
We watched as she survived the storm.
We lit off fireworks because we knew no one would stop us.
We observed the faulty wiring but did not feel it was worth the cost to repair.
She felt sick and quietly begged for help.
We did not hear her.
We were too busy using her beauty for our own benefit.
We believed she was strong, that she would live forever.
She was unable to survive the blast.
We did what we could but we could not save her.
It was too late.
But we will never learn.
I allowed myself to fall in love.
It was a mistake that felt too right.
All I knew was alcohol and casual sex.
He turned me around and made me feel things.
I thought I deserved those feelings.
I thought that feeling was worth potential pain.
I realized I was right all along.
It is better not to feel.
It is better not to trust.
I would rather have a stranger lie to me.
At least I know they lie.
I would rather have her telling me the way it is than having him pretend he is in love with me.
I regret the loss of my best friend.
I will never have another Chelsea.
There is no one left to tell me the truth.
I imagine that nothing can be said or done to make his mistakes disappear. He says he's here now and that should be enough to prove that I'm important.
It could also just go to show what a coward he is.
Anything he says from now on will have no meaning. He told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life making up for all the pain he caused me. He said those things while waiting for the right time to dump me and pursue a real relationship with her.
He screwed it up with her and now he's stuck with me. So of course he's going to try and make this work, he has no better options.
Do I allow myself to be taken in by the flowers, treats, rocks, and cliches?
Of course not. This is me we're talking about.
I'll go about this until I find someone better. I'll listen to the words, pretending they are true long enough to get through another night. I'll pretend I'm not hurt by the months of lies. I'll fall into a peaceful slumber when he says he stays up late talking to god-knows-who online. I'll smile when he spouts off all the things that usually make girls feel loved.
I'll feel better when I replace him.
Until then I suppose I'll give him the picture perfect, reality-free relationship he once had online.
davidHow to Use Google Voice with an Existing Number Oct 26th, 2009 11:54:46 pm - Subscribe
This video explains How to Use Google Voice with an Existing Number. The process is farely simple and requires very little modification on the user end. My recommendation is to watch the video, and go to your Google Voice account settings to get started.
Tip's, tricks, hint's are welcomed. Feel free to post them!
0 Comments
Mood: good
Currently Listening To: Reggie and the Full Effect - Thanks For Misery (320Kbps)
davidHow to Organize Digital Photos Like The Professionals Oct 26th, 2009 11:47:27 pm - Subscribe
So we all have hundreds if not thousands of digital photo's on our internal and external hard drives, but the questions is how do we organize them like the pro's do? Here is how I plan on doing it.
How to Organize Digital Photos Like The Professionals
Right now I have an I:\ drive where I store all of my photo's along with other needful items that I do not plan on listing here. Well one of my directories is:
Pictures
Inside of my pictures directories I have:
Photo's
PSD's
Wallpaper
Web
Photo's is what we are looking at in this entry. Well I figured that the easiest way to organize your pictures is by creating a directory. (which I have) that describes the images stored with in it. eg: Halloween 2008 Inside of my Halloween 2008 folder I have pictures of Milani trick-or-treating (my daughter). Well rather than labeling the directory, 'Halloween 2008'...I plan on listing it as:
2008-10-31 - Halloween Windows will recognize the year 2008 first, the month, and final the day and place them in sequential order.
Once you have placed all your pictures in directories, and properly labeled them by year, month, day. It is now time to use your favorite photo management software. Many of the pro's use expression, but personally I enjoy using Adobe Light Room for meta labeling, and Google Picasa for facial remembrance.
Either path you choose to take, Adobe Light Room, Google Picasa, or another 3rd party program always label the directories of the images that you purge from your camera on to your PC.
Here is a list of my primary directories in my Picture folder. Your are more than welcomed to use this as an outline for your digital photo organization.
Animals
Architecture
Environment
Events
Family
Friends
Home
Objects
Office
Screenshots
Travel
Work
Eventually I plan on revamping / optimizing my primary directories by year, but for now this suites me well. Should you have any recommendations or suggestions I welcome you to comment below. Thanks
External Links
Adobe Light Room
A photography software program developed by Adobe Systems for Mac OS X and Microsoft Windows, designed to assist professional photographers in managing thousands of digital images and doing post production work.
Google's Picasa
Picasa is a software download from Google that helps you organize, edit, and share your photos. It's free, and easy to use.
0 Comments
Mood: good
Currently Listening To: Reggie and the Full Effect - Playing Dead (320Kbps)
evieDigging Up My Old Rejections Oct 26th, 2009 12:35:59 am - Subscribe
I will never be anything more than just Grampa.
To anyone.
I will never be the love of anyone's life.
I am now and forever will be the girl who was just good enough.
davidHow to Make Windows 7 Upgrade a Full Install Oct 25th, 2009 9:57:04 am - Subscribe
Explain on how to create a complete walkthrough on how to make Windows 7 Upgrade a full install. Paul Thurott and a friend over at the SuperSite Blog have worked out how to perform a clean Windows 7 install using the upgrade disc. Come again?
That's right: save $80 and buy the Windows 7 Upgrade disc, because you can use it to perform a clean, full-featured installation.
How to Make Windows 7 Upgrade a Full Install
Perform a clean installation using the Upgrade disc -- this should work without a hitch.
Make sure there are no Windows Updates pending -- if there's an orange shield icon next to the Shutdown button in the Start Menu, that means you need to reboot before attempting the next steps.
Open 'regedit.exe' from the Start Menu -- just type it in there, where it says: Search programs and files. Accept the User Account Control dialogue that pops up to give yourself Windows 7 superpowers.
Navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE/Software/Microsoft/Windows/CurrentVersion/Setup/OOBE/
Change MediaBootInstall from '1' to '0'
Open the Start Menu again and type 'cmd' -- use ctrl+shift+enter to run it as an elevated-permissions user
Finally, type slmgr /rearm -- and press enter.
Your computer will now reboot and run the Activate Windows utility. Type in your product key aaaaaaand, as the SuperSite Blog says.
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Mood: good
Currently Listening To: No Music
davidResize from Geocities by Peter Bone Oct 25th, 2009 8:29:25 am - Subscribe
Resize software by Peter Bone. I use to use this software back in the day. Excellent image software for batch resizing. I am posting this as an entry becouse Geocities is going down permanently on October 25, 2009. So to pay tribute I am posting this for everyone else to enjoy.
As stated from the website. Resize allows you to resize images. Reduction is done by pixel averaging, which gives much better quality than sub-sampling. The program allows you to resize a batch of images and also convert to JPEG. This is useful for creating thumbnails for web pages or resizing the frames for animated gifs.
The resizing algorithm produces high quality images because it uses all available information from the source image. Most other image resizing software only use a small amount of information from the source image.
0 Comments
Mood: good
Currently Listening To: No Music
femmeemoBusiness Woman on ACID Oct 22nd, 2009 5:52:19 pm - Subscribe
That's how I fucking feel.
Meeting here at 7:15, but you also have cover this shift at the centre until lunch time, but I'm going to need you to stop and get these picked up form the copier on the westend before noon, and be to the presentation by 12:20. Did I mention that your coworker called in sick and you have to do it by yourself?
I am streched. I also have three classes during the week, Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. I'm going to the gym, and I still manage to spend time with the family. I am multi-tasking.
Sure I don't see my man much right now. He's working later than I am, and all we have energy to do is to go to bed when it's all said and done.
But everything will balance right? I don't remember ever being this constantly busy. Training soon, Montreal again. Then again in the spring.
I just want some sweet sweet lovin'. A free latte every once in awhile. Traffic to not be a bitch first thing in the morning.
And above all...
One quiet fucking night.
-
0 Comments
Mood: Plundered.
Currently Listening To: Yo-ho A Pirates' Life for me.
davidWindows 7 64-BIT Driver for M-AUDIO Fast Track Ultra Oct 11th, 2009 8:43:23 pm - Subscribe
Since I figured many of you were having this same problem I did with your equipment, I decieded to post this How to Install Drivers for M-AUDIO Fast Track Ultra Windows 7 64-BIT.
Can you believe it? I finally got my M-AUDIO Fast Track Ultra USB to work on Windows 7 64 BIT. Here is what I did:
Windows 7 64-BIT Driver Installation for M-AUDIO Fast Track Ultra
Save the download: FTU_V64_5_10_00_5099.exe file to your desktop
Right click on FTU_V64_5_10_00_5099.exe
Go to properties
Go to compatiability tab
Check mark Run this program in compatibility mode for:
Select Windows Vista
Under Privlege Level, check mark Run this program as an administrator
Click ok
Now proceed the installation of the driver
Pretty cool huh? No need to wait for M-AUDIO to release the fix for there installation wizard!
5 Comments
Mood: good
Currently Listening To: No Music
evieHonesty Like I'm Leaving Oct 10th, 2009 11:32:38 pm - Subscribe
Things can never be the same.
He can never make me feel the same as he had before.
My feelings were based on lies he told.
Simple words such as "I love you" escalated into delusions.
I made my plans around him.
I sacrificed so much to make it work.
He had little interest in me.
I believed there was so much more.
I believed I was the only special one.
How could I believe differently when he never told me differently.
He left me believing I was special.
Touching me shortly after expressing love for another.
I should accept that I have him now.
Instead I dwell on the past.
The past has made the present meaningless.
I will never know my value.
davidHow to Assign a Hot Key Short Cut to the Snipping Tool in Windows 7 Oct 10th, 2009 5:00:18 pm - Subscribe
Explains how to assign a Windows Hot Key Short Cut to the Snipping Tool in Windows 7.
Windows 7 has a pretty awesome new screen shot utility that allows you to highlight a part or all of your screen and save it to .JPG, .GIF, .PNG, and .HTML (.MHT). Well what if you were able to assign a hotkey to the snipping tool for easier access? Wouldn't hurt, huh?
Here's How to Assign a Hot Key Short Cut to the Snipping Tool in Windows 7.
Start
All Programs
Go to Accessories
Right Click on Snipping Tool
Select Properties
Now simply enter in the shortcut key text box something like CTRL+F12.
Ok
Now every time you press CTRL+F12 simultaneously your Windows Snipping Tool will be available. Keep in mind you can do this with many windows programs.
davidHow to Download MP3's from Playlist.com Sep 30th, 2009 10:12:07 am - Subscribe
My cousin contacted me about how he figured out how to download MP3's from Playlist.com I am not sure why I'm posting this...perhaps because he called me a 'jurk'.
As stated from the website.
