Beans?
Date: Sep 13th, 2006 12:57:14 pm - Subscribe
Mood: experimental


As I was conversing with a cubicle-neighbor of Maz (let's call the neighbor Archie today), I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was standing up in his cube, staring in our direction. I redirected my attention to him, where he was standing with a goofy grin on his face, holding a packet of chocolate covered coffee beans. The conversation went something like this:

Maz: Oh, hey, I was just wondering if you wanted some beans?

Me: No thanks, I'm good.

Maz: Oh, really?

Me: Yep.

Maz directs his stare at Archie, who walks by and heads to the coffee pot. Archie notices his gaze and says, "I'm headed for the real thing."

Maz: Oh, really?

Me: Yeah, we like to drink our stuff.

Maz: Oh, really?

Like a nerd at a school dance, Maz was shunned and scuffed back to his cube, beans in hand...thinking of his next victim.

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Island Vibrations
Date: Sep 12th, 2006 5:59:03 pm - Subscribe
Mood: isolated


just for the record
... in attempt to moderately curtious Morpheus decided to inquire about the Maz-Man's recent vacation excursion, here's how it went -

Morpheus: So how'd the vacation treat you?

Maz: Great, great ... it was a lot of fun.

Morpheus: That's good to hear, I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it.

Maz: Yeah, I don't know if you know - but I went to Hawaii recently with my wife, the big island, we had a lot of fun.

Morpheus: {Almost chokes on his Sun Chips(Harvest Chedder...very tasty)}

Maz: ... yeah, we had a great time swimming, scuba diving, snorkeling - uh? Did I say snorkeling, I meant we went in a submarine.

Morpheus: {Thinks to himself ... I hear the submarining in Hawaii is awesome this time of year}

Maz: Have you ever been to an island?

Morpheus: Yes I have, actually ...

Maz: Sorry?

Morpheus: Yes, Catalina.

Maz: Really, I had never been on an island before.

Morpheus: {Wishes he had one of those blue or red pills right about now - even some scotch would do the trick}

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You talkin to me?
Date: Sep 6th, 2006 3:09:56 pm - Subscribe
Mood: disturbed


today, names are truncated to protect the players

One fine workday, here in East Cubicleville, my manager A was at my cube talking shop. M came over and sidled his way into the conversation, perhaps overhearing his name as we planned some menial task for him. A turned and started talking to M, who gradually walked back to his own cube (diagonal from mine). As M transitioned back to his normal seated position, A leaned on P's adjoining cubicle wall and continued to talk to M -- never making eye contact with P. Note, this whole sequence of events transpired over a period of several minutes.

Out of the blue, M looks up at A and says...

quote:
"Oh, are you talking to me?"
A was stunned. Passively repressing his rage in the matter, A proceeded to re-explain two minutes of coversation to M.

Seeing your manager get blindsided by stupidity.......Priceless.
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Little Big House
Date: Sep 6th, 2006 2:56:33 pm - Subscribe
Mood: stunned


On the ride back from lunch one sunny day, we passed an odd gun store. Next to the gun store, there is a single-level, muliple tenant, apartment building (long brick building -- probably around 300 ft). The conversation went something like this:

C: Hey, check out that sweet place. You could live next door to that kick-ass gun store. I think there is a drive-thru liquor store a block west of here.

M: Man, that's a big house.

C: House? [laughing]

A: You mean the one with 5 or 6 front doors?

M: Sorry? Oh. You think that's an apartment building or something?

At this point we all were laughing histerically and explained the peculiar new building formation.
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Where's the H20?
Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 1:21:22 pm - Subscribe
Mood: aloof


maz: your not selling water anymore ......
juan: yes i am .......
maz: {opens filing cabinet confused} ......
juan: what are you looking for ....
maz: water .....
juan: its not in there .....
maz: where is it ......
juan: {points to the giant cluster of bottles on his desk} & notes the chilled stock in jesus' cube-fridge.
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