disappointed? or annoyed?
[blasted on] Jan 17th, 2007 12:10:54 am - Subscribe
[I am] happy but sad
i went out with him yesterday. yes i had a great day. somehow, he always managed to cheer me up. but sometimes... what he feels and thinks will bring me down. nah he didnt say them out. i can feel it.
now. why didnt i let him? first. its in the cinema and... there are people you know? and... i gotto just admit i dont feel comfortable there. not the seats. not him. just... uncomfortable with the place if he's gonna take action. thats all. what action? heheh he knows, i knows. and i'll like it that way.
second. i... guess im just not ready yet? something's just pulling me back. my self-control? maybe. i have heck lotsa it man. and i dont know... each time he was about to touch me, i can't help but to replay my mom's warning. yeah she warn me pretty much nowadays. cause, she's been a teen once. and yeah she knew i was going out on a date with him. so... i just pulled back.
third. wait. there aint no third.
i know i promised. i wouldnt wanna break it as well. and no doubt i like it. i've even asked myself is it too early. heh. still no answer.
what am i to do? i know i avoided it. i know i ignored it. i know. but i just dunno how to tell. that time. how am i to tell?? i dun even know how to start. yeah i disappointed him. no doubt about that. but what can i do? heh. no idea.
is it too early? i... dunno.
and one thing is... not all guys can be trusted. i dont know about him. i cant say i know him pretty well. heheh there are girls who said that and ended up crying. so like my mom say, pull back a little altho you really do like him. precaution is better den cure. and like he said, better safe than sorry.
so now... you know why i pulled back? too many things in my mind i dont know where to start.
it might be another excuse but... its up to you to believe it or not. im a girl. any disadvantage its gonna be me. how can i not take any precaution?!
sigh... i love him alot. i really do. just that... there are times i gotto stay firm and be a little selfish.
and there are times where... i really gotto let you down dear. i've got no choice.
sry i implied too much. i really dont know how to start. but dear... i really enjoyed the day.
[thoughts] (0)
