too sensitive
[blasted on] Oct 26th, 2006 1:20:59 pm - Subscribe
[I am] jealous
jan just sent me a message just now... apologising. for some reason she didnt state it down. so as usual me getting a little too worried and also thinking quite a lot... i decided to call to clear things up.
wanna know what i thought of? the moment i saw that message... i thought of her and ben. which... i supposed aint a good thing at all. what about them? i shall not elaborate cause... i dont want anyone to know. its just me being extremely sensitive or is it that im being over jealous? i dont know. nor do i wanna know... just let it be...
so i called her... many many times actually. i thought she was avoiding my call. which apparently made me think EVEN more... ok i should stop bout my thoughts.
finally she picked up and told me she's apologising for using my name. she was on the phone with ben. so... i was half correct with my instinct. damn. it aint a good feeling. but i wasnt that worried bout her apology anymore.
she told her mom she was talking to me instead of ben. she's afraid her mom having too much thoughts too... err... my name... i've became an insane or extremely problematic person in her family... more of to her mom. ahh... dont care la. i'm still safe and alive i hope.
anyway... the point is... i dont know why but i really hate the jealousy feeling. damnit. they're just friends!! whats wrong with them calling each other?? nothing is wrong. but how come... how come i kept.....??? ahh forget it. im a jerk.
i dont want them to avoid each other because of me. cause... one is my bf and another is my friend! but... cant anyone just wave off that feeling?? i mean... why is it that im so gosh damn sensitive??!! i hate myself...
[thoughts] (0)
