school
today is: Dec 4th, 2006 1:21:54 am - Subscribe
I am: romantic
Listening to:: Brian McKnight - Anytime
i am absolutely furious with computers tonite. It took me damn near 9 hours to get a final exam done on my computer. not the laptops fault... it is the damned free program "open office" that cheap people (me) can download for free and it works with microsoft office as a converter so to speak.. it is compatible, so to speak. i got the stuff typed out here in about 5 hours and then went over to the lab and it started trying to start world war 3 with me! 
i had to get on 3 computers and do all kinds of crazy re-editting and stuff to get it right. took me forever! i was livid to say the least! but i finally got it. i know its not A material but i am hoping to get a B out of it. i am just ready for this shit to be over! i am so sick of school. the MAT program is WORK! dont be fooled. they are not giving MAT degrees out like candy from ETSU thats for sure! i talked to cara for like 2 hours today. we have been chatting alot lately. i think she likes me guys, 
haha. cara if you read that, just chuckle... ok? 
ahhhh lets see.. what else on my daily report do i need to fill in on...... no NASCAR!!! gah i hate that. sundays were for nascar and i watched every race. but they will start back up in february so thats not too far off... i am ready for it... football, another good sport thats burning up the airwaves. there are going to be some great games on this year.. its bowl time and i love watching all the bowl games, even the small bowls. sometimes, they are the best games! well thats all i have for tonite.
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long time coming
today is: Dec 3rd, 2006 3:45:40 am - Subscribe
I am: fantastic
Listening to:: Goo Goo Dolls
it has been forever since i have posted in my journal here. i think the last time i posted here, from looking at the last entry, was right after cara and i broke up. since then things have changed. in my life, in many ways. i had a new girlfriend named shannon, decided i was going to branch military police or military intelligence, received a scholarship with the army, and have decided to move to knoxville and attend college at the university of tennessee, thanks to the united states army. i took the initiative to look into bettering myself and was offered a scholarship with the vol army at UT. so i am going to transfer down there this summer, after i get back from LTC at Fort Knox in kentucky and start working on my masters at UT while doing army rotc. i am excited! things are looking up. also, in regards to cara. she had a new boyfriend within 2 weeks of us breaking up. turns out, the guy was a nice fella. however, she couldnt get over me and she willing admits it, so they consequently broke up. i got a new computer. i got a new bike. and i have been ever so busy with graduate school. i have met tons of new people since cara and i broke up and have formed new relationships. and when i move to knoxville, even more will form. oh yea, i got a new iPod too. a new Nano! now my next purchase will be a mac computer. i feel like i am updating from a lifetime ago, but its just been too long. i did some remodeling to the blog and i think it looks nice. tomorrow is going to suck for 2 reason, one which takes precedence over the latter. i have an exam to complete, which i have even started on, and there is no NASCAR. that exam is going to take forever and i am really not prepared to type all that shit out on it that i am going to have to. the works cited page is going to SUCK to say the least. so that being said, i am going to go to bed for a few hours after a shower at 0341 hours.
briefly, USC got beat tonite by UCLA which was great. Arkansas got beat by Florida sadly, and Hawaii lost by 3 to Oregon State. All in all it was a good day. its good to be back in the saddle again so to speak.
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lost forever
today is: Oct 25th, 2006 1:51:10 am - Subscribe
I am: heartbroken
Listening to:: life of riley
cara and i broke up the other day after 3 years... we had been on the rocks for a while but on my moms birthday i got final closure.. she said we shouldnt talk anymore and i am respecting her wishes and will not call her anymore. i miss her so much and it hurts so bad but i am praying that God will make me whole again and bring someone into my life someday that can attempt to replace her. she was the perfect girl and i havent a bad thing to say about her. she made me the hapiest i have been in my entire life ad i just.... miss her and want her back so bad... i cant have her anymore and its hurts but i am going to just pray about it and let it go. the relationship had run its course for now and just ended. i hope she is happy and cara if you ever read this, please know that i love you now, still to this day, and miss you more than you can ever know. i hope everything is going good for you and i have you in my prayers. thank you for the best times of my life.
-clark
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wishes
today is: Sep 21st, 2006 8:42:39 pm - Subscribe
I am: crestfallen
Listening to:: ryan adams - jesus dont touch my baby
sometimes i wish i was like other males. i wish i could walk around hunting the next girl with no emotion and no sense of guilt.
i also wish i could not want to be with one girl for the rest of my life. i feel like i am just living and hoping for something that will leave me again... but i am too chicken shit to realize it and refute it when it comes back to me. its complicated.
i just wish the person i love would have it in their heart to love me and want to be with me forever. i dont know what else i can do to prove to her that i am a good person.... flaws, yes i have them as does everyone... but i just sometimes feel like i am a letdown and just .... i dont know.
fuck me, i dont know what to think or do anymore. i guess just be like others and just "enjoy till its done and then find someone or something else" and just forget about it if its in the past.... i hate to do that but i guess other guys do it all the time and they seem to be content with life.... who knows. here i am wanting to give my life and future to someone and it just gets dampened and held down... perhaps thats why i cant grow in love... i am being held down and kept from living forever with the thought of being with her forever. God help me.
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Canada School Shooting
today is: Sep 14th, 2006 10:35:45 am - Subscribe
I am: itchy
Listening to:: time ago - black lab
this story broke midafternoon yesterday and the report on yahoo is very interesting.... i am still wondering what kind of weapon he had...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060914/ap_on_re_ca/canada_college_shooting
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