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view recent entries / profile / friends / archive / rss / Aeonity Blog / me to you |
| Hmmm |
Jan 26th, 2005 9:15:56 pm - Subscribe |
| Haven't done this in a while. Haven't had anything to complain about. *grins* I didn't spend Christmas with my family, for the first time in my life. My boyfriend didn't see why I should have to, just for traditions sake. So, I went to his sister's house for Christmas dinner, with him. I felt pressured into it, actually, and it was a little weird. Sure I've been fighting with my family, but to not have Christmas with them? I guess I made the right decision, though. Why pretend we get along just for the sake of a Christmas dinner? I'm starting to feel very torn, though. He won't make a move to reconcile things with my family, and my parents won't budge either. He says that he would never allow his family to talk badly about me, and if they ever said anything against me he would stop talking to them. He wonders why I won't do the same? So, I've stopped hanging around with them, stopped chatting to them the way I used to. But at the same time, I miss my family. What they did was wrong, but they've apologised to me. And to be honest, I don't really think it matters whether or not they like my boyfriend, so long as I like him, but he doesn't see it that way. So I've been putting them aside, I guess to keep him happy. Is that wrong? The difference, I guess, is that I would never want him to walk away from his mother, even if she didn't like me. But she does like me, and respect me, so I guess I don't understand how he feels. I've chosen him. But I can't help wondering if I made the right choice? It was the hardest thing I've ever done. How do I know if I'm right? |
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| mood: wired currently: studying |
(2) comments |
| Meh |
Nov 30th, 2004 7:41:09 am - Subscribe |
| Nothing to say, actually. I'm not feeling very emo lately. Maybe as we get closer to Christmas. And I HAVE been writing more depressing poetry. Maybe I'll post some of that later. Then again, no one leaves me comments anymore, so.... there's no telling wether or not I'll post. No one reads this anyway. |
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| mood: useful currently: listening to maroon 5 |
(0) comments |
| Snazzy |
Nov 5th, 2004 7:15:36 am - Subscribe |
| Emoblog has a snazzy new look, and so I've been trying to give my layout one as well. But all the ones I build (or edit) have some sort of "-" error in the first few lines. I've figured there's some sort of problem with the css type I use. Having codes like "background-attachment", with a hyphen, screws it up. If anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know. In any case, things have been good for the last little while. I've been keeping busy, working lots. Fighting with my parents about how much I'm working, actually. They also don't like my boyfriend (finace?), which is causing a lot of tension at home. I told them I was wanting to move out, which prompted them to tell me I would ruin my life by doing so, because I would have to quit school (i'm in 2nd year). I said I didn't see why, they told me I wasn't smart enough to work and go to school at the same time. I, with my 3.5 GPA, (that's an A minus average) stormed out of the house, refusing to eat dinner with them, or be picked up from work by them. Since then, my mother has been sugary sweet to me. I can't figure. out why. If she thinks all these problems are going to go away with a few "love yous", she is dead wrong. And until she learns to accept my choice in boyfriend (fiance?), she and I will never have the relationship we did. For a while, I wondered if this choice was the wrong one, giving my boyfriend (whatever) "preference" over my family. At least, that's what they seem to think I'm doing. I never felt that way. But after reading a lot of people's emoblogs, I can't help but think I'm making the right choice. I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have to choose my own happiness at some point, right? (by the way, David, I think the mood selector is psychic. I've never had to pick my own mood. The default one is always perfect.) That's all for now. |
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| mood: defensive currently: Watching Sienfeld |
(0) comments |
| Things Get Better |
Oct 25th, 2004 6:36:45 am - Subscribe |
| On the weekend, he told me he intended for us to get married. Not a proposal, exactly. He said he wanted it to be special when he presented me with the ring. But he said he though I might have been having doubts, so he wanted me to know. Not to doubt his commitment to me. All the things I've wanted to hear. I'm so happy. I love him so. He said before he turns thirty, he hopes we will be married. I can't wait. When we first got together, I knew it my heart that we would be together for the rest of our lives. Sometimes, you just know. Now all of this crap I'm dealing with, with my family (extended and otherwise) seems to matter a little less. I know that someday soon we'll have our own family. And that's all that matters. |
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| mood: swamped currently: floating |
(0) comments |
| Stressed |
Oct 20th, 2004 6:00:54 am - Subscribe |
| I emailed my cousin today - I had to tell her how mad I was about her talking behind my back. No details necessary. That's all the info you need. Very long story cut very short, I fear I may have been too harsh with her. I told her that I never wanted her to email/talk to me again. Shortly after, I emailed her back and said I was slightly ammending what I had said. I said she could email me, but that I was very very angry and upset. I hope I didn't compromise myself. I'm starting to wish I'd never said anything at all. But I said what I felt, and it needed to be said. I just don't want to come between my mother and her sister. The two of them usually get involved in matters between my cousin and myself. Sigh... I'm just venting. How is it the default emood always seems so appropriate? |
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| mood: manic currently: blogging |
(1) comments |