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mirabelle's
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| It begins... |
Apr 14th, 2007 10:22:23 am - Subscribe |
| This thing is a pain to figure out. But seemed like a good time to give it a go. I'm in a THOUGHTFUL mood at the moment. That word wasn't on the mood thing, but that's the mood I'm in. You see, as much as this semester in so many ways has been hell on earth, it has been the biggest time of my life for growth in so many ways. Learning to let things go, learning when to let go, learning that people can't be the center of my universe, only God can for me to feel content and happier. I want to make it clear that we will never be fully content, fully happy. Things will continue to come and boggle our world apart, but being able to depend on God, and to recognize that we're powerless to those things is what makes us stronger in the end, and gives him a chance to show us some things. The choice is to let him. I've learned that attitude is everything. Things won't get better if you continue to have this attitude about it, that there is no hope, that it is the end of the world. You make it impossible to grow from it and let it change you and how you see the world around you. And sometimes even when you think you're attitude is in the right place, it's not. This probably sounds like overanalyzation, which yes, I won't lie, I am prone to, but it's not. It's about growing as a person and then using it in your life. We have to move on from things and start living life again. I've learned that in the long run, people matter, but they're not the end of the world. If someone wants to reject me, they will. There are always people that do want me and maybe that's a time I can be with me, time to just relax, "quiet time" perhaps. And you're never going to make people happy. They're always going to let you down or disappoint you in some way or another, because they are human. There is no one perfect, including me. I let people down a lot. I'm let people walk over me, when I should say something, I get caught up in helping and saving too much, I get caught up in little details at times. But I will guarantee you that I will love you, and be faithful for as long as my heart can take it and until I feel that God says it's time to let go and let that person fly on thier own. But I will never make someone completely happy, and they will continuously fail in making me happy. That's what I'm talking about in only being able to put full dependability on God. You say, God doesn't care, why do I hurt so much. Either God's trying to get someones attention or he's allowing this to happen to help you grow. Afterall, we have to grow as human beings, we can't continue to stay the same, what purpose to life would there be then? This semester had to happen the way it did. For me to learn, for me to see these things. Maybe I allowed myself to learn it the harder way, but I thank God that it did. Afterall, it has given me more insight into where I need to be and where I'm for sure I want to be. Don't pass up the glorious oppurtunity to grow. Step out of the safe hole we all seem to build around ourselves and see what you're so scared to see. I promise he'll take you hand after the first step out. And he'll never let go. But you've got to trust him. You've got to believe that he's leading, even if you don't understand it. |
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