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I am back! |
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| I am so happy right now. I getting married in January..yey! |
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1st_escape
Breaking out of my box. Feb 5th, 2009 5:33:21 am - Subscribe
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I don't like being forced into a box. Especially a box that I cannot create, that I cannot construct, that I cannot design. All of these things I use are fake. All of these things I buy are fake. None of them are what I am really looking for. What am I really looking for? I need to break out of here before I can finally see. My vision is being blocked by this box. Hopefully my eyes have not become too weak without exposure. Or maybe blinding sunlight is exactly what I need. |
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Days and months had gone by... and yet there's no changes in my life. Even this feeling that I still have for him. Geez.. why... can't it be, why can't it be just the two of us.. I feel so fustrated with you TOYO.. HOW CAN I LET GO? All I want to make my life complete is you... ONLY YOU. Maybe it was wrong to love you... but how can it be so wrong when it felt so right. What we had was perfect... or I thought was perfect. You left me off guard.. and now you totally gave everything away, even the friendship that you said will remain between us. Didn't you ever think that it is unfair on my part, when all I gave was love, pure love. I waswilling to give and sacrifice everything and anything for you. But... HELL you didn't even care. You didn't have gutts to fight was little left for us. Sometimes I'd like to think that you just used me because you got nothing left and I was there, to fill that empty spot in your life. I blame my self for giving it all... I mean ALL of me. I was so blind... I should have prepared myself to the knowing. I should have listen to those you who saw it coming, or I should have been smart enough to realize the inevitable. But what the FUCK... I loved you unconditionally. Well thank you for the pain and hurt you left me... I can see that you are happy now. But good luck to the kind of life you chose. And as for me I need to go on with my life even if it still hard to let go of this love. Remember... I LOVED YOU and STILL LOVE YOU. |
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Days and months had gone by... and yet there's no changes in my life. Even this feeling that I still have for him. Geez.. why... can't it be, why can't it be just the two of us.. I feel so fustrated with you TOYO.. HOW CAN I LET GO? All I want to make my life complete is you... ONLY YOU. Maybe it was wrong to love you... but how can it be so wrong when it felt so right... to be continued.... |