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joanne Birthday - Subscribe
My birthday is coming up and I am going to have a big party... but there is one thing that I really hope and wish for... I wish that he would be there to complete my birthday.... TOYO sana you would celebrate it with me and our friends.


1 Comments
Mood: broken

1st_escape Thank goodness I know how to swim Sep 21st, 2008 8:13:57 am - Subscribe
Too many things around me are changing. And this isn't turning out the way I planned. I'm not really sure why I am surprised by this. Things never really went to plan before, and it is not like I had a guarantee from God that He would go along with my notions this time. So, like every other time, I will have to go with flow. That is all I can do. Sometimes I just wish I could see over the crest of the wave to where we are headed. Before it all comes crashing to shore. Thank goodness I know how to swim.
0 Comments
Mood: twitchy
music: Pearl Jam

joanne The truth..... Jul 23rd, 2008 6:30:23 am - Subscribe
You think I am OK?... this is how I really feel for you TOYO.... the truth is

Everyday...I try very hard to be strong and try not fall apart but everytime I see you, my heart aches. I feel helpless. I wanted to talk to you atleast, but you feel so far away.

I thought I can easily just let it go, but the truth is, I've never let go of the feeling. I just hope that one day you would realize how much I care and love you. My friends say that I should use my head and just go with the flow but how can I? When in my heart is its always been you. It hurts to breathe because every breathe I take proves I can't live without you, I need you TOYO...you're the only one thats missing in my life.

I hate to admit that the greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone I can never have.... now everyday i have to endure the reality that I am only loving you from afar.

Lying to myself - Freestyle

Lying to Myself - Freestyle

I, BELIEVED IN YOU
WHYD YOU LEAVE WHEN YOU
SAID THAT YOUD NEVER LET ME GO
ALL I GAVE WAS LOVE
WASNT THAT ENOUGH
TELL ME THE TRUTH, I NEED TO KNOW
REFRAIN
I CAN SAY TO MYSELF, THAT I DONT NEED YOU BESIDE ME
THAT IVE FINALLY PUT IT ALL BEHIND ME BUT
CHORUS
ID ONLY BE LYING TO MYSELF
AND ID ONLY BE DREAMING OF WHAT,
I KNOW WOULD NOT COME TRUE
COZ NO MATTER WHAT I DO
TO TRY TO THINK IM DOING WELL
REALITY IS THAT IM STILL NOT OVER YOU
I, GO, EVERYDAY
TRYING TO FIND MY WAY
DRIFTING INTO THE EMPTY ROADS
CRYIN EVERY NIGHT
THESE TEARS, SO HARD TO FIGHT
WHAT DO I DO, I JUST DONT KNOW
REFRAIN
I CAN SAY TO MYSELF THAT I NEVER NEEDED YOU, ANYWAY
AND AFTER ALL, IVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY
(REPEAT CHORUS)
BRIDGE
I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS NEVER ENDING
I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE NOT PRETENDING IT WAS REAL
I KNOW MY HEART WILL SOON BE MENDING
AND AFTER THE RAIN, THE SUN WILL SOON REVEAL
THAT I
CHORUS II
I HAVE BEEN LYING TO MYSELF
AND I, I HAVE BEEN DREAMING OF WHAT
I THOUGHT WOULD NOT COME TRUE
I KNOW AFTER WHAT IM GOING THROUGH
I WILL BE DOING WELL
AND WHEN THE DAY COMES,
I KNOW WHAT ILL SAY IS TRUE
THAT REALITY IS IM FINALLY OVER YOU
0 Comments
Mood: lost

joanne pagod na ko... Apr 9th, 2008 5:59:26 pm - Subscribe
I had enough.... my life has been a roller coaster. i need a new life. all about my life are sooooo complicated. i have fallen inlove to guys that hurt me all the freeakkkking time. I blame myself. Ang manhid kasi ni TOYO. Hindi nya alam I am willing to give up evrything, but on the second thought ang hirap i-give up anything when you feel in the end xa hindi kayang mag-giveup even just a little bit.

Somehow I need to wake up....but I don't know how.
0 Comments
Mood: indecisive

1st_escape Just to feel alive. Mar 17th, 2008 5:49:42 am - Subscribe
I walk by the corner market, basking in the California sun.
When the smogs rolls through the sky,
and mimics the feeling I have become.
I watch the smoke trailing,
from my cigarette,
and look to God for the chance to forget.
All these thoughts roll through my mind,
breaking down the walls,
I had built once upon a time.
I had hoped to forget.
Once I had forgiven.
I had hoped to live truly,
In this time that I'm living.
I always have my sunglasses,
in case your light is too bright.
I always have a dollar,
for coffee at midnight.
In search of life,
I read books that taught me...
nothing.
Because that is all that is known.
Take my time,
that is fine,
take my time,
until I find
that which is missing,
that I already have,
that I know is out there.
My youthful optimism,
is my strongest drive,
faster than a speeding car
and I roll down the windows,
looking for the breeze,
just to feel alive.

Just to feel alive.

0 Comments
Mood: frazzled
music: TRS