Beginnings
Date: Oct 15th, 2007 8:05:48 pm - Subscribe
Mood: reborn


I think the name pretty much explains itself!

I thought I was broken
I thought I would never heal
The pain was overwhelming
The agony was intense
But I’m stronger on the inside
Than I ever imagined

I have gone past the hurt
It doesn’t effect me anymore
I will never let it again
Because it gets me nowhere
I deserve to smile always
I deserve to laugh freely

I have dreams that are grand
And won’t compromise them
I’m going forward at full speed
With nothing pulling me back
I am a new complete being
Who is never living in the past

October 2007

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Empty Soul
Date: Oct 15th, 2007 7:22:54 pm - Subscribe
Mood: abandoned


This one was written at the beginning of the month and is mainly venting about a recently lost friend. I was confused and hurt at the time. Since the writing though i have gotten over it and am doing much better. Some time soon i'll have a happy one.

Why did you have to leave?
Didn’t I tell you that’s the worse you could do?
I let you in my life to see all the bad
You cared when no one else bothered
I trusted you to always be there

Instead in the end I’m left alone
I wonder what have I done to you
What did I do to deserve this?
I tried so hard to be a friend
I suppose it wasn’t enough

Since you’ve left I feel used
You took my weakness and played it
You sapped it all from my soul
And abandoned me at the breaking point
When I looked for comfort you were no where

I listened to your wisdom even when it hurt
I believed you wanted the best for me
I hoped you would watch me grow
But you have gone never to see any of it
You will not be around to share my joy

I’m sorry for being selfish at times
I’m sorry for not caring enough
Most of all I’m sorry for liking you
Because in the end you took away
My kindness and didn’t see the gifts

October 2007

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Come Away
Date: Sep 22nd, 2007 5:55:06 pm - Subscribe
Mood: determined


One of freeing myself and being resolved to move on and change. I am going to let nothing bring me down!

Come away from the comfortable
Come away from the damage
Enter into the new life
It’s going to be strange
It’s going to be different
I’m not going to like it at first
I’m going to fight against it
I need to preserve even in the pain
Because when the trial ends I will be better
I will be stronger than before
When one is done there’s another to begin
The growing is never complete till I take my last breath

Come away from the past
Come away from the present
There is a future to be lived
I don’t know what it will look like
I don’t know what changes may come
It may bring more heart aches
It may bring joyous times
The unknown is going to be scary
There will be no clear answers when I want it
Still I got to keep one foot in front of another
When one is done there’s another to begin
The growing is never complete till I take my last breath

September 2007
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Hurt Me
Date: Sep 22nd, 2007 5:52:56 pm - Subscribe
Mood: disoriented


He has been the friend that no one else likes though at the time the one who has cared the most about me. It is an odd feeling to like and dislike someone all at once. He pushes me to all ends and i hate how in such a short time he knows me better than those i've known longer. I value his opinion so much that it hurts when he isn't around. Then when he is i can't stand it sometimes.

At the start things were grand
You used to hold me close like I mattered
We used to talk like there was no tomorrow
Then I saw it was all lies
That you never wanted me the way I want you

All your words do are drown me
All your touch does is choke
All you ever do is hurt me
And I’m all dried up
With nothing to offer but my empty heart

I hate you for being the best
Because at the same time you are the worst
You pull me up to the greatest heights
Though you push me down
I try to get over you
But I’m weak when you go away

I may make your life hard
I may make you go crazy
Just maybe I’m what you’re looking for
If you gave up the chase
Opened your eyes to what I offer
Just maybe I would be your dream come true

September 2007


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Joy Ride
Date: Sep 22nd, 2007 5:47:09 pm - Subscribe
Mood: upside-down


Written after a rather emotional night with the guy and a few days before our grand adventure. This weekend and the following week was going to be one that made me do a 360 for the good of my life.

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused
I never meant to bring this sorrow
I wanted to give some joy tonight

The ache I feel is deep
I yearn to bring peace
My tears fall for you

I share the burden
You may not understand it
I hide my own well
To protect my sanity
I’m here to lean on
Please don’t run away

I know you think no one cares about you
Don’t give up hope for those that do
Your morning will come even in darkness

My heart beats for you
My arms are open to hold
I’m ready to carry you

Even when you want to give up don’t
When the pain gets too much lean on me
I will always be strong to keep you going

August 2007

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