| hmm... it's been a week today. out of the week sergio and i probably talked like 1/2 the days possible... haha, anyway, no one's called today, and i don't know, but i think i'm getting a little too pissy about it. and no i'm not just talking about sergio, i'm talking about everyone... oh well, i'll get over it. this week will go bye way too slowly for my liking, and i'll have far too much time to think. you know what happens when i think?? bad things, so i need to go occupy my thoughts with something un aggrivating, if there is such a thing. |
| i've been pretty happy since yesterday due to nicole's working overtime. i just feel kinda bad i can't hook her up.... i just don't know why, but i can't just go up to jame's and ask him if he likes her... that's putting both their egos on the line... hmm, i'll try again tomorrow... anyway, he hasn't called yet... oh well, i'm going to be pretty content for awhile... all i wanted was for him to know how i felt and to know how i felt... i was just getting restless, i'll be pretty happy even if nothing happens for in some time... yeah... thanks nicole, you're a real pal. |
| that phrase just doesn't roll off my tongue like it used to. i never had to think before, and now... it's not that i have to think so much as it sounds wierd. when i talk of my best friend i feel like i should be taking about jami, the friend that doesn't exist anymore. i've changed from having a best friend i stay in with (rent movies. sleep over) to a best friend i go places with (concerts, movies, get togethers). it feels wierd not to have that connection anymore. the real reason i'm writing about this id because jami and i talked today. i don't even know her anymore, yet i feel like i know myself better... instead of trying to please her i'm better at following my own feelings. that's why nicole and i are better friends i think. she is willing to except my opinion even if it's different than hers. oh well, i just need to get over the fact that we won't be friends again. but if she was back in the hosital tomorrow, i would be there too. |
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well you see, last night i was talking to josue and he's right, if i don't like him all that much, i shouldn't waste my time... but, what if all this thinking and worrying about it is messing stuff up... i always do this. i over think, and hurt myself... oh well. i don't know... if i didn't like him, why would i feel like i did today when he wasn't at school? is he the one i want to break my record as being totally and completely alone with?i'm afraid to be counted on, what if i can't hold up? This sucks, oh well. HAPPY HUMP- DAY!! |
| Hmmm... this is my first entry, I wonder what I can write about. Today at school, we're having a mock election. To tell the truth, i don't agree with either one of the canidates. I think that 'Vote or Die' is the dumbest thing I've ever heard... oh well, my opinion doesn't matter, i'm only 15. I'm getting rather tired of all the crap at my school. Just because I'm white and don't listen to hip-hop or rap, my feelings and opinions don't matter. I hate the fact that I took two classes in summer school to take a class that's wasting my time. Theatre arts has to be my worst class ever. I wanted to be in there to learn, and now I'm just in there with a whole lot of morons who are just in the class for the fine arts credit. I DON'T EVEN NEED THE CREDIT!!! I really wanted to act, but my dream is faltering because of my dumb class and teacher. Oh, and at OM after school today, it wasn't so bad except for the fact that we had most of our play done (except for the script i had to write), and now we're starting off with a completely different problem... it sucks. I have a sumary to write and pre-cal to do, so bye. |