mizzxbitch's Blog

WUT'S WRONG WiF ME?
Date: Feb 1st, 2005 4:52:35 am - Subscribe
Mood: miserable


I don't understand what's wrong with me. Everytime I like someone they always seem to have or find someone else. One I liked him alot but i found out FROM HIM that he had a girlfriend but they way he acted around me was like he didn't. Then i try my best to get over him then I find out he's going out with my friend. I just don't know what to do anymore, I've lost everything in my life. I've lost my concentration for school, i just want to be a bad kid for all the pain to go away. I just don't know what to do, I've tried so hard to not be a rebel but I don't know what else to do. Everyone around me is finding happiness but I'm not. I wear a mask to hide my sadness, failure, dissappointment of myself. I HATE myself for who I am, I'm just fat. All my friends are skinnier than me and im the shortest, to me that's all wrong. Sometimes I just feel like becoming a slut or something because at least idk... i just want happiness. I just can't find it, I need to find something that makes me happy. For me to be happy is to spend money, to dress *honestly* like a ho or something; i like having attention maybe not the one i want but i just feel soo ugly. To me it's the only way to do things but i kno it's not. IM SUCH A FLiRTER... i've gone through so much as i've changed my look, people calling me a hoe, slut, tramp, bitch, but it attracts guys idk before guys never even looked at me once but now it's all different. Guys always use to look at my friends n just using me to get to them or something... i'm just ugly, fat, etc. nothing is good about me...
Comments: (1)

crowsblood - February 01st, 2005 Everyone worth anything seems to be taken, don't they? I feel that way, too, and it also depresses me. I don't flirt or ask, because I know what they are going to say. I don't understand. How do they meet? Doesn't anyone notice me? I'll think I'm pretty until I am ignored. I hate it. Am I really so transparent!? At least I know I'm not alone. I'm sorry you feel this way, though. I hope it makes you feel better that you know someone relates to how you feel.

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