awww ... :(
So, again: I had forgotten about this blog until I recently saw aeonity mentioned somewhere and I did a search on usernames to see if my blog was still here (though I didn't remember my username at first so I searched on three different words until I found it). I'm amazed it wasn't deleted! I thought I'd have a go at logging in, not expecting it to work, but again, wow, somehow I remembered the password!
I have no idea now what email address I used to sign up with although I have a feeling it is a defunct one (for somewhere that used to host me). I can update that though, I'm sure.
Mr Right and I did get married, got our own place, got some pets - bunnies (yay!!!) and a dog. We've been trying to have a baby for a couple of years but it's not working :( The animals are our babies for now but still... we'd like to have a kid... but maybe it's not to be :(
a classic backhanded compliment
Berry Turnell, of Woody Point in Queensland: "Many years ago my wife gave birth to twins. On my visit to see them a nurse said, 'One of them looks like you. The other one looks intelligent.' I never got to find out which one she was talking about."
sleep and weight
alt.title: I should be skin-and-bones by now
Getting a good night's sleep may be one of the simplest ways to stay slim, research suggests.
A study has found that women who slept five hours or less a night were at risk of weight gain.
Almost 70,000 women took part in the research, part of a health investigation in the US called the Nurses' Health Study. Scientists monitored the women for 16 years, keeping records of their weight and sleep patterns.
Compared with sound sleepers, women who slept no more than five hours a night were 32 per cent more likely to experience major weight gain - defined as an increase of 15 kilograms or more - during the course of the study.
But there must always be exceptions... I sleep at least 10 hours a night most nights (lately it's been twelve) and I still can't shift 5 lousy kilos (about 12 pounds).
no bunnies for me
I have been weepy since Friday night. I had a great time meeting bunnies at the breeder's, but the bottom line is I can't have one because I can't offer it the right environment and care. Like, these rabbits live outside, but I couldn't have one outside because the other tenants in my building wouldn't like it, and a few of them have cats, and the cats would terrorise the rabbit (even if they were only being curious, they would terrorise the rabbit). So I would have to keep it inside, which would be okay, in a hutch, except they do need to be allowed to run around, so either I have to have the patience to train it to use a litterbox or else the carpet will stink (go figure). And even if I can housetrain it, there is still the problem of how to keep the hutch clean, because a cage for an indoor rabbit needs a lot more cleaning than one where the hutch is on the grass and the rabbit can pee/poo straight into the ground. So probably the wooden parts of the hutch would stink anyway even if I could keep the carpet clean.
But while I was there I sat on the grass and had various rabbits jumping all over me. They are used to people because the breeder and her family handle them a lot. Even so, they bite and scratch. I got one scratch on my right arm just above the wrist and a couple of small bites on my left arm (though they didn't bleed, they were painful at the time and are still showing red marks). One of the smallest rabbits (about 4 weeks old, too young to be sold) kept trying to crawl up my pants leg. It tickled and was very funny seeing its little bottom wiggling around. At one point I had three of them on my lap. I was impressed with how calm they were. She said that was because they were at home with all their rabbit friends and they knew she was their protector and feeder, so they felt safe, but if it was just me there they would probably all run into their boxes and hardly show their faces.
So after an hour on the grass, and talking to the breeder, I felt really bad about "wasting her time" but I had to admit that I would not be able to go ahead with getting a rabbit because I wouldn't be able to have it outside and I really don't need stress from trying to keep the carpet clean etc etc. I knew I was doing the right thing by declining, because I don't want a critter that has to stay in a cage all the time - I want something I can bond with and pet and brush and play with without having to go to a park and throw a ball. Still, it was very hard to say no. I cried a lot straight after I left and had to ring the boyfriend to say I didn't want to go to dinner, then I had to tell him why, and he insisted on coming over and trying to cheer me up. I didn't want to be "cheered up"! I wanted to be alone and cry and grieve for the bunny I can't have (not while I live in a shared building, anyway). They were very endearing. I can see why lots of people have them as pets. If you have the right kind of space for them I think they would be fantastic pets. But a bunny is not for me, so I am going to concentrate on researching guinea pigs and rats, and see what happens.
Early this morning, I dreamt I was lying on a red bedspread on a single bed in a narrow room at the front of a house that was on a main road. I could hear traffic passing sporadically and got the feeling it was the middle of the night. I tried to turn over but suddenly remembered I was pregnant and had been wedged in place with pillows so my baby wouldn't be born too soon. Next thing it's late afternoon and I'm in the bed (although the bedspread has vanished), dreaming (dreaming that I'm dreaming) that I'm still pregnant although I know I'm not, and in the dreaming dream, "remembering" that I have to cherish my pregnant time because when the baby is born I won't have time to do anything except look after the baby. Then I woke up - for real - and turned over, and after a short bit about being on an escalator I was back in the baby dream. Now I couldn't remember if I was still pregnant or not. I couldn't find much of a tummy bump and wondered if I'd dreamed the baby was born (dreaming of dreaming, again). Because if I'd had my baby, where was he/she? Why couldn't I remember what he/she looked like? Why did I not know if it was a he or a she? Etc.
Hopefully this doesn't mean anything. Hopefully it's just my brain using a metaphor for my nervousness re pending pet. Later this afternoon I'm going to see a rabbit breeder, spend some time with rabbits, get first-hand expert advice, so I can make an informed decision about whether to have bunnies, or some other pet. I've been reaidng about guinea pigs and rats too, but you'd hardly know it, since I seem to have five times more bookmarks on rabbits than any other animal. So subconsciously I want a rabbit? Is this symbolic for something to do with (human) children? Yes, I would like to have one or two kids, but I don't feel that "biological clock" ticking, I don't feel any urgency. So is it my subconscious feeling the urgency? So I get this thing with bunnies, the fertility symbol? I don't know. Erm.
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