Crossroads
Date: May 1st, 2012 8:11:10 pm - Subscribe
Mood: burdened
Do you ever feel like you are stuck? Like no matter which choice you make you have no way of telling what could happen? I feel that way right now. My heart and mind are in a battle....but then...a small glimmer of something else comes along and suddenly I'm at a crossroads. Can someone be happy and sad at the same time? Love someone and despise them too? It's like I want to hold on to all I have yet reach for something else at the same time. I'm trying to stay above water in a River thats flowing to fast.
My daughter Raelynn gives me so much joy. She is 9 months now and she is growing so fast I wish there was something I could do to slow her down. She is totally the best thing in my life.
Does it sound horrible to say that I kinda wish that I didn't get married? Dont get me wrong, I LOVE Jesse, and the last 3 years have been good for the most part, but sometimes I crave my independance. I feel like we are so different in so many ways. We are both really head strong and that often clashes. I feel like I'm always giving in instead of going after what I want too. He is so used to "parenting" his own parents what he thinks he has to parent me as well. Stress.
"and I never wanted anything from you, except everything you have and what was left after that too" -The dog days are over
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