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-flails- I MADE A 2040 ON THE SATs. I IMPROVED BY 200 POINTS. I MET MY PARENTS' EXPECTATIONS. I AM SO DAMN HAPPY RIGHT NOW ToT |
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Let's all kill her for being a narcissistic, immature cunt. Somebody should inform her that there are two ways of doing friend cut posts: pathetically and annoyingly. She has managed to do both. Always trying to find some way of inflating your ego, aren't you? Change back to the girl I used to be friends with. Even Ann was more tolerable. All she did was annoy the fuck out of me. You, on the other hand, manage to lie to me and talk smack behind my back. Motherfucker. |
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School is exhausting me. I almost can't keep up - don't want to keep up. A pointlessness lies behind all the bullshit that is given to me under the guise of education. English is pissing me off, and I take every opportunity to express my hatred of it. I'm sorry, as much as I love the teacher, I can't stand the class. I can't stand being bombarded by all this work and being expected to do it perfectly and being expected to understand it. Is this what college courses are like? A flurry of work with ambiguous purposes and very little time to absorb the information? Being thrust into assignment upon assignment with little explanation? College course or not, I'm still in high school. AP courses are meant to imitate the level of difficulty in college courses. They are not an exact simulation. I feel like completely giving up, but I can't. I've worked years and years to make it to this point, and giving up now would destroy everything that I've come to know: academic excellency. I'm only hoping that English will ease up, because regardless of the fact that I have very little homework in other classes, I still manage to stress out every night because English gives me enough work to make up for the other classes. Pisses me off. |
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So, I ask my father if I can spend the night over at Jenny's house tonight and tomorrow night. He said okay. I said okay. We hung up. Then, my mother calls and she bitches me out about always going over to somebody else's house. It's not a calm, civil scold or reprimand. She's literally screaming at me, wondering why I'm always at a friend's house, and that my brother and sister are going to be home alone. I absolutely fucking HATE it when I'm shouted at for no damn reason whatsoever. I didn't do anything but ask to spend two nights at Jenny's house because it's fall break and they'll be gone Friday through Sunday and I won't be able to go anywhere during those days. Since when did that become such a crime? If she had a problem with it, she should have told my dad to say no rather than screaming at me. Oh, look at me. I'm cleaning the house out of my own good will because I felt bad for slacking. I felt bad because I was putting all the housework on my mother. I'm such a horrible daughter for always going out with my friends. About my brother and sister staying home alone: My mother and father left me alone in the house when they went gallivanting around the country. Did I complain? No. I could take care of myself. And it's not like they're completely helpless either. My sister can cook more than I can. And if there's any problems, she can call me and I'll fucking RUN to the house if I had to. It makes no sense. At least with Emily's parents, they want her to stay home because they want to spend time with her. But my parents just want me home for the sake of being home. I don't see my siblings being home alone as an excuse. I'm so PISSED OFF. I'm a SENIOR, meaning I'll probably never see Jenny or Emily or anyone else as much as I'd like. Can I not enjoy my friends' presence in peace? Can somebody PLEASE tell me what I did wrong? I asked if I could go. I could have just gone without telling them. I'm making sure that I do housework before I go. I could have just left the house a complete mess. And Jenny's mother takes such good care of me. She makes sure I'm fed and always pays for my meals and she's just so sweet. She's so different from my mother, who leaves it up to me to make sure my friends are fed. My mother doesn't cook or pay for my friends. Fucking hate that bitch. What a useless, worthless, pointless mass of flesh. The 'select mood' that randomly appeared is 'overworked.' I could not agree more. How ironic. I'm going to continue cleaning because regardless of what my parents think I do all I can to meet their expectations. [But I guess it's just never good enough.] [Why am I never good enough?] [NEVER.] And today's supposed to be such a happy day. It's my 3-year Kai x Rei anniversary. I posted my fic and everything. |
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This is how I can tell that I don't like Tasha anymore: [1] I roll my eyes everytime she talks [2] I don't want her to share any more of my interests, such as Tales of Symphonia [same thing happened with Ann] [3] I write little lists like this about the recent signs of why I don't like her anymore GUH D: The only reason I haven't said anything to her face yet is that I don't want to cause unnecessary drama. I can't wait until this school year is over. |