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mutantdisc
new beginings, new shit to take care of - Subscribe
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Well, it's late for starters, kinda anyway. Welp, the College for Creative Studies is out of the school year, good thing cause now I've got shit to take care of....like....shit. Excuse the Shit. (Hows that for a first Blog entry?) --See |
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mutantdisc
Foreshadowing May 10th, 2005 3:54:54 pm - Subscribe
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Well, guess what's gonna happen? It turns out this trip I've been planing for atleast a month and a half is going to happen after all. It was going to be a bitch without having to go, and besides I'll finally be able to drive for once. It's really odd that I'm 18 and no license yet, welp, that's just crazy aint it? hmm, my battery for my mouse is going low, so I'll finish this blog later tonight when I do my laundry. Good Day. Welp, that's all for now kidos. --See |
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Echo This Bitch: About A Boy Soundtrack - Badly Drawn Boy |
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mutantdisc
back from florida May 16th, 2005 2:07:12 pm - Subscribe
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Well after a weekend in florida, I'm straight. I know what my limits are and where i want to be. I know who I want and what i want to be. It's time to make and take things for myself screw everyone else, fuck the girl that i used to think about and lacking her lips for me to kiss. I can finally not care as I did. Pretty much 50 hours on the road, leaving pleanty of time thinking about a lot of things of the girl I thought I knew and wanted to be with. Well, I just got tired of thinking about her. I still am attracted to her, I just don't want to take the time wasting each day moaping in the sweat of work in thinking about her. I also think I know what I want to be, and that's becoming more and more clear, it's hard to put it into words but it's not just a career I'm looking at. It's a lifestyle. Either way of where I am, I am happy to be were I was before I left and happy to be alone. Atleast for now. --See |
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mutantdisc
stuck in a shit hole May 17th, 2005 9:23:52 pm - Subscribe
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I used to think i wasn't in a bad spot. I know I'm not. And at times when no ones there, there really is no one there. I have spent these past two days like I have spent them last summer. Sitting alone, in a basement, cold dark without a light obviously, and there isn't anyone to hold or think about. I used to think that just having great admiration for the most beautiful girl in the world was enough to keep get going through my days. It's not. Music helps, until it ends. Movies can help, but they let you know what your missing. friends are close but can only be friends through so much. And if your lucky, and that's 1 out of atleast a million chances, the one person you want to notice you just for a second barely does anything more than glance or wave just to draw you away for the breifest moment. I don't know why people make shit so confusing. I know why I do it. It's cause I have to. It's the only way to get what I don't want. This doesn't make sense to anyone other than myself but in my logic--getting something I don't want is the only way to get people what they want so they can be happy. to know that I am the root of one moment in someone's life is enough to keep me optimistic. People with their bullshit of leaving you out of the loop or not doing something you have made a plan is one of the worst feelings in the world. It says to anyone who know somethings up that you aren't worth the time, the suffering, they aren't friends for helping you fill up tha void. The bullshit I've gotten through is only leading to more. I say I'll take it cause there isn't shit to do around here. I don't see a reason to move on other than people want me to. I'd be perfectly fine just dying in my death bed. I think I've been seeing things quite straight forward these past couple of years. I'm of age to make an adult decision, and I don't even care. Fuck this place. Fuck the people that have lied to me. Fuck the world that has bestowed it's useless antics to make me a better person. I know my life isn't as hard as many people on the Emo Blogs. But Damn it, I have a void too. I want to be there for them as they have for me already. I mean, this is honestly progably my 4th post on here, but reading some people's public blogs, I feel like shit for not being there--for not actually going through it. Probably the only thing I have that even comes close is my loneliness. Everyone's alone, "You will Never really know someone" --Rules of Attraction. And right now, I have a Problem with everything--family, friends, and love. Fuck it. --See |
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mutantdisc
some where through the heart May 18th, 2005 8:07:54 pm - Subscribe
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Well, some how within the past few days, I managed to make new friends. They know who they are so no need for names right now. I just only hope to make great journeys with them. Hopefully we can be honest and just alittle free with one another. That's the only way i can be at this second. Maybe I'll change, but now, I need to see things through, simply that. --See |