immaterial
date: Nov 13th, 2007 8:47:14 pm - Subscribe
mood: turned-off
postmark: ~'~

better than a cold shower ---
expensive, early purchases.
exorbitance excites the
overweening ambition
between another woman's thighs
but not mine.

argue that it suits a need and
i will point out how the need has
yet to arrive and things
can change and rearrange,
depreciate and destroy.
give it time.

and, though forced to admit it,
toil-sweat is an aphrodisiac,
but not at the expense of that
sweet, young, unwrinkled skin
and the thinning of hours better
spent in song.

spent in song, in lust, in memory of
your own simpler needs and dreams
spent on keeping up, creeping up
to the Joneses and the thing is
it's not dollars and cents
that i want.



others' words: (2)



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Content Copyrighted myrcenary at Aeonity Blog
others' words in edgewise:

rburton76 - November 13th, 2007
This is good. I mean, I'm not a poetry fan in general, at least I don't like much of the stuff I see on this site, but you've got talent. I'd try to incorporate a little more imagery if I were you, but that's just my opinion.

avatar

myrcenary - November 13th, 2007
thank you for your kind words and comments. i generally tend to utilize a great deal of imagery in many of my pieces like "dexterity" and "fickle." i intentionally did not use it in this piece. i didn't want there to be anything figurative about it. just trying to make a statement. as to the other comment of yours which i omitted here -- OF COURSE, i think i already know everything! i am fecking magnificent, and if i could run across a beach into my own arms, i would... *sigh*
thanks for visiting.


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