/End of Winter
Date: May 23rd, 2010 8:36:47 pm - Subscribe
While the end of the week may have stared well, things sowly continued ntil a point where I am afraid that life has changed for the worse. On Friday there was much to be dealth with as my sister was having issues of slef esteem and feeling as if she were worthless in the eyes of her master, I spent what time I could with her to try and help her allong, but this seemed to not be enough as day by day the family fell apart. If only we could have frozen time for the moment and continued how things were, but things wernolonger as they should have been.
Friday my sister did not go to the geathering as she was ill prepared emotionaly and felt as if she were unatractive. I have talked with her allot and know tat much of what is going on with her is that she is not feeling well with the new toy that her master has found to put in her bed. It is a horible feeling to think that one is being replaced by another and she must feel terable with everything as it mimmics so close the life she had lived before.
The next day master again left much of everything in our hands as he told us that we could travel with him or seperate or not even go. Our status in the family was not desired as he ould have easily done without us as to have us there or have us serve him. I should have seen the warning and I should have warned my sister not to go wth us. How rong I was, I pushed her and told her that things would beok and we all traveled up to denver togeather. It was as if we did not even exist. twoslaves set alone to watch there master play with his new toy and be paraided infront of his wife. What value we had was only measured in what space we could take up in the back of the room. I felt so terable for my sister, I should have warned her that this is how things were for those who are in not in the direct eye of there master.
She talked with he and he released her for the night, she was torn apart by this, it hurt her to no end and then it went further as she chose to remain free for a week. But time would not continue for so long as he then released her for good I included in the mix for I and she were close bother and sister, and what use could a rother be without his sister. Toss them both aside d and play with the new shinny toy. Enjoy your life, itis short and we can only apreceate each moment that we are blessed to have.
Today things continue and today things are worse. Sster and who had been master are ighting, they exchanged there things and she cryed and fought and screamed to the world. My body hurts from her fist and my ears from her voice. She asked that I help her get her things back, it was nothing to ask, a simple request, but one tht I could not fufill. Im sorry sister, I did try, and perhaps I tried to hard as I stood before the woman I had called Mistress and called her only by name. I looked her in the eye and repeated my intentions of her giving back the property of my sister. I was too strong, I was too proud, I should have never entered the buildin but left the fighting to the women. Thats what the one called miss had wnated, she wanted to curse and scream at my sister, but asi was the only one there then I was the nly one tohear her curse and spit at me, I should have not stood on my feet in her house. But I left. tossing the ring that had been collar, keys and book to the floor and left. I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit, ut I left, even my hand as it intended to slam the door behind me was stayed as she was following me out and I was not to close the door upon a free woman. What a loss things have been. what a painful life we have lived.... if only tomarow can dawn soon, if only the next day can be better.
I am sorry master, I am sorry that my love for your slave has o shamed me that I can no longer kneel in your house. I am sorry that we were not pleaseing enough for you that we were cast asside. I am sorry. but I will endure, and life will continue one day at a time until fate chooses to end it.
This is the last entry of sethailill.
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