nons Aeonity Blog

Thursdays thoughts

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:19:08 -0500

I have found a solution to the sluggishness of blog updates. One outlet is just not enough. It is also a trait that I have found about myself some years ago. The fact that I need constantly changing environment or tasks to revolve around due to my nature of getting bored pretty fast with mundane and routine. I often wondered if this sort of behaviour or trait is some kind of a hindrance towards my field of work, i.e. research. In a way, it is. BUT. Yes, there is a but, or I probably would have been disheartened at this discovery. It would be a hindrance only if I do not multitask. Which obviously means I have to have various tasks running all at the same time. It does seem to be a bit of a hassle. And at some point I would even feel like I probably would be putting too much on my own plate. Tapi, memang benda ni lah yang akan push me forward. This will be what is fueling my adrenaline. I can't work on normality. It is just not me. Mungkin kalau orang tengok dari luar, "Ish, banyak nye kena buat," and I don't deny, memang banyak, even I feel banyak, but it isn't like I let it creep into my free time. I'm only busy during office hours (an right now is not a good time to say that because I'm stealing a bit of the office time to be typing this out....sebab rasa sangat bosan...haven't started my new project yet...and the ideas for writing report is stuck somewhere inside my head). Planning is of the essence mind you. Multi tasking requires ample of planning, multifold compared to normal tasks. The only reason is because there is just so much to be juggled. Kalau tak buat nanti, jatuh semua juggling balls tu. ........... I stopped writing the above for two days now (things came up). Sekarang dah lupa nak tulis ape. Kakngah is coming home tomorrow. Well, technically she is on her way home now (flight dari Shanon on Wednesday lagi), but she'll only arrive tomorrow. Yayness~

(worldly) Wish List

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:09:09 -0500

1. Something to store my Nikon d40 in (this or this would be excellent) 2. Something to contact people with, as I have graciously given my brother my w890i (nothing TOO flashy, maybe something soulfully satisfying) 3. Not as good in physical art as I am in digital art (which sucks too, but better than physical ones at any rate), this is certainly a good toy to have. Any rich sisters?? Hehe. 4. Something to cover the laptop. Even though Ayah have given me a good enough a backpack for it. This looks fun enough. 5. Something flashy and cheesy (but I bet I can spend hours on ends just staring at it). 6. Something to organise myself with. 7. Something to stir my drink with. No more spoons huh? --- Mengantuknye. Rambang mata duk belek satu per satu all those fun gadgets. Pretty much a luxury than a necessity don't you think? Tapi tu yang duk rasa macam nak beli jer (macam banyak sangat duit). But what is pretty good about these sites with these ridiculously weird (but at times really good) inventions is that they give me ideas on making stuff. Maybe I should add #8. Have a segmented workshop area at home...hehe. To make stuff. Or marry a carpenter (like the one kat TV tuh...haha)

Oil Price Hike

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 03:04:05 -0500

So it was revealed yesterday that oil price in Malaysia was hiked up by 40%, to match up par with the market price. There was a surge of panic pandemonium-ish rush for petrol and massive traffic jams at all petrol stations. I roughly calculated the CBR of me getting ready, braving the jam, the rain, the wait and the almost empty tank, to saving RM20 by filling the tank yesterday, and of course, the comfort of home won. This morning, it was announced that the electricity pricing will also increase. What is a pain is that, hiking up of oil prices will definitely give a 'reason' for retailers to hiker their product price. I'm not in the age where I am even eligible to say "in those days" (perasan muda la ni), but if I were to compare the prices thesedays with 5 years back, there is a humongous gap between them. I think technology increases too fast, and food price increases too much in such a short time. But I rarely look at it in an all negative view. Surely for everything that happens, we can put it in such a way that it benefits us. As I have commented on a friend's blog, I see it as a way to build a healthier style of living. Although I do see it to be an option mainly for the middle income family, but it is better than non. Maybe it is because I am from a middle income family that I see it as such. An example is that, from the high cost of...everything, we can learn to cultivate a positive nature. Not being a wasteful, maximising the usage of product and lots more. Little things adds up to bigger things, like using the last bit of toothpaste. Benda-benda ni pun, bukannya abnormal sangat. In fact, ia merupakan ciri-ciri seorang Muslim/Muslimah. Always look at things from both point of view, the good and the bad. -p.s. full tank for innova was rm120 after the hike..errrrkkkks

Things that goes bump in the night

Wed, 14 May 2008 17:32:36 -0500

I thought I might record this despite the fact that it has been three weeks since I started writing it. -3rd June 3 Weeks Ago (Same date as the entry) Our house was broken into last night. Everyone was fast asleep. The first thing I saw when I was woken up, was Ayah's shaved head (he just came back from Umrah barely a couple of days). I saw Alang, standing on his left with her pink sweater on and her face covered, and Abi on Ayah's right, kneeling down beside Alang.....*treeeeet, pause, rewind*...did I say Alang twice? That was because the first Alang, was not Alang, and Abi was not Abi. They were robbers. One of them had taken Alang's pink sweatshirt as his own. I was still in a groggy state when I first opened my eyes. But that was only for a few seconds or so. I was wide awake by the time one of them kneeled beside me, though I pretended that I was still in a semi slumber state. My movements were purposely clumsy and I was making incoherent sounds like someone muttering in their sleep. I could hear one of the guys, or maybe it was Ayah, telling me to take of my gold bracelet and necklace. I played the sleepy fool act because I knew at that time, there was hardly anything else I could do. Fighting back was not an option as there were three of them around us. Plus, they might have been holding my Ayah at a knife point for all I knew. They had probably thought t hat I was a silly fool, who was so slow at taking off my necklace, that they took hold of it, and almost instantly I felt it dropped from me into their hands. It must have been cut off with something sharp for I didn’t feel any tension force on it. By that time, playing the sleeping fool was not going to work anymore. They also snipped off the necklace from my sister who was sleeping beside me (the real Alang). The three night-robbers were illuminated by the dim street lights. They didn’t dare to switch on the lights in the house. They then had us in sitting positions and pointed at us knives, showing gestures for us to hold up both hands in front of us. Ayah was softly saying, “Don’t hurt them, they won’t fight. Please don’t hurt them”. For me hearing Ayah, the stern figure in the house, knowing that he was powerless at that time to do anything to help us if these men had more on their mind than just burglary, really felt like I could punch the daylights out of these evil people. But knowing that it was not just me that I had to look after, I kept my head down, and held my hands out. They tied with what I saw later were electric cables they had cut from our electrical appliances around the house. Bast*rds. Threatening us with knives (kitchen knives they took from our house), they forced us upstairs into the master bedroom. What really threw me off as they led us upstairs was their horrid stench. They smelled like they haven’t even heard of the existence of water and soap. I was more angered than scared at the fact that our house was blatantly violated by presence of uninvited ‘guests’. As I entered my parents room, I saw Ibu huddled with Abi on the bed. Amah was on the floor at the foot of the bed. All with their hands tied. Alang was sat beside Amah, as I took my place beside Alang. There were two others waiting upstairs. These people had their face covered with cloths. These two guarded us in the room, while the other two went out and probably were searching for other items in the house. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life. They didn’t pace in front of us. The ones guarding, were as still as statues. Though every time I moved my hands to scratch my face, they made jerking movements as if I had some concealed movements of attack. Every other minute, one of the other two would come in, whisper to ones in the room. They would shake their heads and then continue searching. Ibu’s room was in a mess, with things strewn across the floor. During that period, the period of waiting for what would come next, my heart rate rose and it felt like my heart was beating its way out of my chest. In my head, various scenarios played. Unmentionables such as violating the women of the house, touched base in my head more than once, and every time, I would huddle closer to Alang, and fearing for Ibu. Whenever one of them step just a bit closer than they had been, I would inwardly flinch and build up tension inside myself. It was almost like I was a coil of spring that was just waiting for release. I recited the three Quls and Ayatul Kursi, more to calm myself. I could hear Ibu doing the same. It was not easy to build calm inside. My mind was still racing. About police suddenly coming, or our neighbours banging on our doors, or even the robbers suddenly falling down the stairs or something. It was really, and I can honestly say it, a stressful situation. And then suddenly, just like some sort of change of mood, they grouped together, and headed for the door. I could hear Ayah asking them, “Dah?” And as if they had suddenly acquired manners, they put their hands up, as if in a gesture of a small wave, saying, “Yes”. Dumbfounded by the sudden politeness of these evil people. We waited for about 5 minutes, just to make sure they were indeed gone, and not waiting to pounce on us again. Ayah got up, and untied the knots on his hands. He proceeded to untie everyone else. We all got down, switching on all the lights as we go by. Ayah dialed 999 as the rest of us went through the house. The kitchen was in a mess. They ate all the arab rice Ibu had cooked for dinner. They ransacked our larder and took my instant noodles. I was absolutely mad at them for that. Amah and Abi woefully cried at their lost handphones (their only valuable possession). It was then that we realized that AdikYoh was not amongst us. Abi went to wake her up. It seems that she was spared. Probably because she was sleeping like a log. They had taken all cash, even the one ringgit notes in my purse (I had 3 ringgit in there), all our watches, all handphones and all valuable jewellery we had on us. I searched for my handbag, but could not find it. I was ready to really cry at the fact I would have to go to all sorts of agencies to get all my documentations back. As I was searching for the number of my bank, Ibu cried out telling me that my hand bag was outside, with all its contents thrown haphazardly on the ground. They must have taken that last, and unfortunately for me, my hand phone was in there that night. So that was gone too. I was glad our laptops weren’t taken. They must have been on foot, and that would have proven to be too heavy to take and run in the palm plantation behind our house. It was exhausting. But we couldn’t sleep. Despite the clock showed that it was close to 4am. My brothers had their midterms that morning, but nobody could really go back to be after all that. Ibu asked us to go to sleep, but I just still was trying to get it into my head that we had just been robbed. Robbed at knifepoint, in our own homes. Tied up and grouped together. All of us then pieced our stories together. It seemed that the robbers had come in through the kitchen doors. They had gone up using the back stairs and pounced upon Abi first, then Amah. They had Amah knocked on the master bedroom, asking Ayah to open up the door. Ayah did not suspect anything, and straight away jumped off bed and opened the door. He was quick to realize that they were actually in danger. He let out a shout, half closing the door. But he realized that may be a wrong decision considering that Amah and Abi were in the hands of the robbers. At the same time, Alang and I were sleeping downstairs, just near the staircase. Alang had heard Ayah’s shout. Thinking that Ayah might be in trouble, she crept up the stairs, inching up slowly. Unfortunately for her, one of the robbers saw her. And that brought us to the moment where they came down and took us upstairs along with them. The event shook me up. In a way, I accept it as a wake-up call to not take things for granted. Theoretically, I have known this, but it is knowledge that I had also taken for granted and not really understand it fully. And it is not just our safety, but for everything else as well. Anything could have happened in the hands of those people. I have not done everything I had wanted to do in life, and to be in a position where they could have easily turned bad, hit me hard. There is just so much that we could do, and then say, “oh alright, I promise I’ll do it better tomorrow”, or that “I’ll give up doing this bad thing tomorrow and turn over a new leaf then”. It brought the fact that life and death is just a switch away. An invisible switch, flicked by invisible hands, in an invisible room. How can I live in the kind of life where I put off things that needs to be done now, when life’s intervention have strongly showed me that situations can change in an instance? A wake-up call indeed. I then ask myself, how can there be such people in this world. I mean, I know that other people around the world have faced far worse situations than the ones we were in, but to be confronted face to face with such a thing, still is a bit hard for me to digest. Even now, I ask myself, had it really happened. I did not need much convincing on that with the fact that getting into bed and closing my eyes at night are never the same.

Painting silver.

Fri, 09 May 2008 03:25:11 -0500

Have you ever gotten one of those news that makes you go, "OH NO! That is the end of the best era there is"? Rumours or not, it is shaking the hearts of sturdy standing men whom holds good view of the current high boss that we have. There is a little birdie (whom have the knack of bringing bad news) telling us that we would be saying bye d bye bye to our current boss. But I pride myself on fast recovery. Or so I think. I may just be trying to soothe myself from feeling like how others may when they hear the news (which I hope does not become true in 5 more years at the very least). He did promise us a lot of things, and was also the anchor and wheel that moved things and gave his visions to us to steer through. So we may not have him at the stern, the wheel, to steer things in an almost excellent manner. But if I were to say, "But who could take his place?", that would almost be like saying I do not believe that there are others out there who could somehow fit the bill, fit his shoes and probably be the change to achieve a higher plateau from where we are now. Sure we have the best there is in the business right now. Someone who does things in the most fair and effective way. But even so, even now, I can already see brewing troubles. Not because of him, but because of the silly ideals that silo-working-minded people have. So maybe, just maybe, a change may do us good. Provided of course, that the ones that does all the hard dirty work get our gears together, stop being lax, stop dilly dallying and being in the comfort of the fact that our big boss is the expert and expect for him to be giving out orders all the time. Maybe it is something that can act as a catalyst to cause maturity amongst the people here. I always like to paint a lining of silver in dark clouds. Putting my mind to things, and working for it usually do take things in that direction. But I still hope that we get at least another year's grace period to oil the gears slick and get things really moving. InsyaAllah.

Life like that

Wed, 07 May 2008 01:02:49 -0500

Papers strewn all over the desk. White A4s and yellow post-it notes covering the beech coloured desk. I still have half a glass of plain water, still and stagnant. We speak of enchantments being put into food and drinks, so everyone would put aside any food or drinks that have been left unguarded. Then again, I throw caution to the wind with a bismillah, and drink it in one go. Nothing is to keep me from quenching my thirst. **** Food is pricey. One lunch with grilled fish and an orange juice cost me almost RM10. And this is in B@ngi, not some uptown B@ngs@r place where everything is marked up over the top. And I still haven't thought about what to cook for dinner yet. Take out is not an option. It's money splurging thats what take outs are. **** We're going to Berj@y@ TimesSqu@re tomorrow. There is a symposium of some sort. Compulsory for ROs, which I detest. Give me a break, it is in the middle of the city, where human sardines exists during rush hour either on public transports, or on the road (then it'd be vehicle sardines). Why could they not have picked a much lax location, like Putr@j@y@ or Cyberj@y@? Pftth

An island I am not

Sun, 04 May 2008 04:34:03 -0500

snapped this on the way to @l@m@nd@ Because I don't know whether aeonity has a subscription mechanism, I just added the blogs I found worth reading here on my friends list. So I hope those I added would not mind (some people do mind, especially when the word there is 'friend', and I'm just a stranger to them). I was folding laundry earlier on. Mountains of it. And when I fold the laundry, its like when you're on the throne in the loo, my mind starts to wander around and think about things. Lots of things. To a point that I got a headache just from cramming too much, jumping from one topic to another. But what stuck was something on friendship. I am not the type of person that has tonnes of friends. I have a few close friends, and I get along with everyone else, but that is about it. Keeping friendships and taking care of one, is a whole lot of work. The problem is when I feel I cannot give as much as the other person does. This is for the most why I tend to be friends, but not the kind that has to meet up and talk all the time (with exception to a few that is). It would exhaust and drain me. Plus the frequency of it may even induce boredom. Oh the horror. Friends are important, but is so self-quality time. I find that if I try to devote more time to friends that I have less time for myself, I'd have this bleak sorry cloud over my head that I would end up being bored. I think it is like relationships. You have to create some sort of space and not be suffocated. It doesn't mean you love your friends any less. Or that you care for them any less. And I think this is the point where having the same wavelength is an ideal characteristic. Less misunderstanding, less of having to plan too much, expect too much and be disappointed. That being said, I am grateful for the people around me today.

Tikka Stir-fry Beef

Sat, 03 May 2008 04:09:53 -0500

Makes for 6 adults Ingredients 0.5kg beef cut into thin strips. 1 medium onion, sliced. 1 large tomato, seeded and sliced. 3 red chillies, seeded and sliced into halves. 1 inch ginger, thinly sliced. 1 heap tablespoon tikka paste (or 2 spoon tikka spice) Salt and sugar to taste Method : Saute onions, chillies, and ginger in a saucepan, till onions browns. Mix in beef, add in tikka paste, stir well and cover with lid. Cook for 20 minutes, stirring at 10 minutes intervals, keep lid on otherwise. Add sliced tomatoes, stir, cover for another 10 minutes, until mixture is semi-dry. Add salt and sugar to taste, stir for a few minutes. Lift from stove and serve. Serving suggestion : Serve with steamed white rice and vegetable soup. Yums. Left overs (if any): Eat with bread. Make fried rice Cheats : Cook with pressure cooker. It is faster and meat becomes more tender. If you don’t have tikka, normal curry powder will work too. Mix it with a bit of korma powder though.

Saturdays are fun. Perfect for house overhaul

Sat, 03 May 2008 02:26:09 -0500

Minat pulak dekat Jason Mraz ni. Walaupun memang dari dulu la suka lagu dia, start-start dengan wordplay tu. His current one "I'm Yours" is such a feel-goodyish tune that its gotten me in a smile-to-myself kind of moments many a times. I am already working on (in my head that is) on what slideshows I'll be making using that song. Sukanya. Ibu and Ayah have been gone since Thursday morning. It has been a while since we've been left to fend ourselves by our own. Whats difficult is when these kids have gotten it into their heads that they are already big boys and girls. In terms of age, yes, but certainly not in the sensible department. Then again, maybe it is because I am seeing through the eyes of a 'grownup' that I don't see them have sense (at times). Tapi memang betul lah, kalau orang tu ada sense (eh, rasa macam cerita hana kimi pulak...cakap sense sense ni), ader ke dia biar jer baju yang orang dah penat-penat basuh terperap je dalam besen, or would a person with enough common sense, just leave a sink full of dirty smelly dishes, as if there is some servant to do them? Tak kan? I think it is probably in their heads that they have older sisters (me and alang, kakngah is too far away to be counted) to do these things just like ibu does them at times. And that is the sole reason why they don't pull their own weight and get things done as well. You'd have thought that the older they get, the easier the chores will be delegated around. I couldn't have been wrong-er. Tapi, nasib baik la buat gak bila suruh. Cooked nasi goreng yesterday, and today penne in tomato sauce for breakfast (oh who cares of pasta is not a morning menu), and then some stir fry beef strips in tikka for lunch (with nasi putih lembik and sup sayur). I was watching a Korean movie a while back and they had this yummy looking beef thingamajig with steaming hot rice. Well, I'd imagined that (the one I cooked) is what it tasted like. I'm sure mine tastes way better. Korean food have never been all that appealing to me. Not even their barbeque restaurants which some says is a must place to eat at when you're there. The kimchi they so often eat (in the many Korean dramas I have watched) needs more convincing for me to actually eat it. It looks a tad bit like nasi campur, with everything tossed in and mixed around. The only thing that I liked, that I've recently acquired a taste for is the Yogurberry icecream that is said to be from there. Thing is, the outlet over at my place has lousy service and lousy staff and they're so stingy with their swirls of yogurberry. I just wish that they'd been more nice and more accommodating. I don't think I'd be going there again, never mind if I do like it. Speaking about food, I do have to say that me working have had me eating lots of different outlets. Truth be told, there is nothing all that fascinating about the places I do go and eat at. To most people, it is places that they have been frequenting for ages. Tapi ye lah, kita dulu jalan ngan ibu ayah, makan pun ikut ngan ape ibu ayah makan. We've never even eaten at Pizza Hut pun sangat dulu kan. But I do have a feeling that this is because Ibu keeps saying "Ala, pizza kaklong pun boleh masak". True...tapi sekarang ni, sungguh la ku tak terlayan nak buat pizza schmizza ni. Since I started working, all the normal food places that I had seen people in, I've managed to step my foot into. The other day, I went grocery shopping with Ibu. We both ended up hungry. And although I had just had my wisdom tooth pulled out, I was adamant to eat. Brought Ibu to the Chicken Rice Shop. Ibu wrinkled her nose when I said I'm treating her there. She never did like the smell of Chinese food. But I told her to trust me and that I know she'd like it. When our orders came, she said "Only this much rice??". I was fooled by that ages ago. The rice portion is just enough to be able to fit with all the other side dishes that were to come, I told her. Sure enough, Ibu was bloated by the end of it. What was a testimonial to it all is that she said, "Nanti boleh lah bawa Ayah sini, mesti Ayah suka Assam Fish tu". See, told you. Keluarga kita ni, bukan nye rajin makan tempat-tempat yang orang selalu makan. But I don't think we are any different from a lot of other families. Sure, we see a ton of families and people dining, lunching at eateries, but the ones we see there, is just a small percentage of the whole population of Malaysia. I'm sure there are many other people that would be all batak over things like....Secret Recipe? Haha. I'm still afraid to step into Chillies. Mahal sangat. Plus, they serve non halal food as well kan? Places like those are off limits. If I were to write about this up till the letter Z, it would be endless. But I just have to state, there is no reason to be going to such places when there are other places to go to. That is just my opinion lah.

Forest

Fri, 02 May 2008 03:31:22 -0500

Months ago, I was triggered by my time at M3ru camp for my BiTieN to write about forest. It wasn't something particularly witty or funny, or anything like that. It was more of an observation I had. During the camp, we had this 'Kembara' time (which I think would translate into 'Adventure'), whereby teams are sent out to go through a course and come back alive (ok, so it wasn't that dangerous, but muck, thorns and leeches are kind of in that eww zone for some people). My group went along fine. We were counting ourselves (shouting ONE! TWO! and so on until the last member, 16!), or some of the guys were singing (badly) a Hawaiian song (one of the facilitator taught us during the 'ragging' session). Thing is, as I was walking, or climbing rather, I couldn't really help but think that I have very different ideas and ideals about forests in Malaysia and forest elsewhere (elsewhere would likely be some western countries), and it isn't the temperature mind you. It made me think about how I would picture forest when someone says the word 'forest'. Malaysian forest in my head would be dark green, dark, wet, scary, full of stuff you have to be careful about (be it physical or spiritual...yes, we have a lot of that being shoved in our minds don't we?), and generally not a place I would say romantic. That Commonwealth forest and park resort thing, that gave me the same vibe. I didn't feel a touch of fond romanticism in that place at all. Duk baca ayat kursi banyak-banyak ade la. Now then, western forest to me has joy and skip stamped all over it. I know its a skewed image of it all, but that is how strong childhood images have carved its way inside my head. I have been reading books after books since I was a child about fun things that happen in forest. And when you watch some old movies where they have it in the forest, they're bound to show really pretty scenes, with the sun shining between the leaves and the birds gaily chirping. Its like watching Bambi. Haha. I blame the bad stereotype on television. I don't think I ever saw a Malaysian story or movie that features the forest in a good way. There is always some sort of bad things lurking when they use wild green areas to shoot movies. Be it ghost stories in pitch darkness, or people getting killed or taken hostages, or people running around scared and wild eyed from some bad men. Its all negative. Orang kena tangkap berduaduan pun dalam hutan. Mana tak nya kita nak kaitkan hutan dengan shadiness? I think it is a bit too late to change my mindset on thinking about forests this way. Malaysians should have more stories like The Magic Faraway Tree. Going through swamps Hehe.