R.T. kflajfljdlfjaljf

Jul 29th, 2009 4:38:43 pm - Subscribe
Mood: lonely
lovely things:: formulaic romcoms

Monday morning was by far the worst. Prior mornings have been either busy with fretting over how to get through work with minimal waterworks or trying to sleep at some strange house on an uncomfortable couch while attempting to quell another consecutive whiskey hangover (a bottle a day keeps the thoughts away!). But monday was truly awful...
Lying in bed while all the debris slowly washed up on me. Fragments of conversations, inside jokes (fuck those formed so quickly and easily), nights, those long lovely mornings, traces of warmth, the smells, smiles, the looks and laughter. Everything that can't be there anymore.

I may have discovered the worst feeling in the world. Funny how it so seamlessly follows a blissful period of the best feeling in the world.
A white to black rapid flurry of change. And words. Followed by a red crash. No prelude, no nothing. Just all that raw emotion because I cannot help but be such a fucking girl that is incapable of being graceful about anything.

As Sarah said. A punch to the face. Why would you try and get punched again?
You'd think that only a complete masochist would willingly go through that again.

Maybe I really should go and fall in 'love' (just pretend) with some hard working italian man. One with a hairy back and a penchant for tossing out compliments. I hear they do that lots over there.
Just run off. Chopped off hair is one step closer to a new me with more sense and blocks in place. Like a mini moat. Alligators and all that toothy shit before you get entry into that fuzzy warm red place (and don't be dirty now).

Things were going too well and so it was time to quit.
Try and understand that.

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the L beans

Jul 14th, 2009 8:26:48 pm - Subscribe
Mood: spent
lovely things:: this song

"I had a dream about mario kart"

*soft laugh*

"I love you"

*beat*
*beat*

"I love you too"
"It took mario kart for you to say that sober?"



I think I'm ... but it makes me kind of nervous to say so.

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nighttime delights

Jun 14th, 2009 8:55:50 pm - Subscribe
Mood: deflated
lovely things:: Hot Toddies (these girls'll cheer you up or your money back)

Last night I was operating some sort of an antique record player that had a blade coming out of it. There was a bumpy ridge around my right hand ringfinger and the blade hit it. Bleeding but remarkably pain free, I cut around the outside of the finger to find a ring underneath the skin's surface. It said 'little' on it and had a tiny pink jewel on the I. I used to wear the ring when I was younger and then over the years skin had grown over it. And I was no longer little.

***

I believe last monday it was, vampires had taken over everything and I was a princess that they were after. I hid in the outhouse out in that Ukrainian village, where these things always end up taking place. I suppose living there wasn't enough, I have to visit every so often in alternate states. I watched through a hole in the boards as they outlined what they were planning to do to the rest of the world and to me, once they found me. I was dragged out and they were about to finish me on the exact spot that that pig was butchered. But then I started crawling around in the mud and embarked on a quest to follow the colours that had happened due to some mushrooms I'd taken in the outhouse. The vampires thought this cute and laughingly let me go on exploring behind the barn. Then I hid up in the hay loft with somebody I knew. Something naked and sexy occurred. Those spiders were probably there as well. They were outside pacing, once again trying to find me.

***

Next night or so, I was in a tall apartment building that echoed the rooms of the one in the village. But the stories just rose and rose. Once again the end of the world collapse scenario. Bleak, destroyed place. We were making our way up the building. Racing against others that were after us and those leaping out of rooms that were just walls of peeled paint. They were snarling and swinging knives as we leapt up the stairs, stabbing whoever came closest. Breath tearing out, panic pounding against the ribcage. Just blind fear and instincts. We hid on some roof for a bit, lying low only to be mockingly pointed out to the attackers by someone else. More running. Hallways upon rooms upon dead ends. Opening and closing on one another; terror pumping while sneaking along pressed up against the walls. And then we were on acid and floating down the stairs past all the skeletal people.

They're back. The haunting loneliness, the booming silence of a destroyed world and the constant fear. It's all in these dreams. I love them, they have a certain creative quality that appeals to me, but I feel so disturbed upon waking. And it's something that can't be shaken easily, sometimes for days. An unpleasant taste in my mouth are these imagined scenes. They're all too real in how emotionally draining they can be.

And really, that sort of thing should be saved for the daytime. Young love is a beautiful thing but when you are dying to explain that to somebody close to you and they're a cold shoulder far out of reach and long gone by choice, that is the real heartbreak of daytime.
How do YOU get over losing things out of your control? How do YOU stop feeling so alone and abandoned by the side of road? How do YOU stop missing?

Drop some suggestions, won't you?

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%&#!@MAY!@$$

May 20th, 2009 9:36:59 pm - Subscribe
Mood: saucy
lovely things:: movies aaaallll day long with some stubborn competition

Sooooo...
Did ya hear?!

May is the official Masturbation Month.

Spread the word.
Spread the legs.
Heck.
Help yourself.
Help a friend.
And then some.



(Oh yeah, guess what? That image sure is cut off nicely enough to not give you an ending. Unsatisfactory. So here's the link to it: http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=186 As i truly am too lazy to edit that shit up for some easy viewing. I now realize that some other ones have also gotten cut off... Too bad.)

Joycelyn Elders kicked off something beautiful. So go out there and do that thang if only to spite those conservative folk who like to pretend they don't touch themselves 'down there'. Show 'em just how 'filthy' and 'disgusting' you can be. Or just have a blast.

Go be sexy, you kids.

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zzzzzzz

May 19th, 2009 9:42:50 pm - Subscribe
Mood: impish
lovely things:: funny tunes n google searches

haha buzzed muthafuckas!!!



yeah, that's alright. this shit can handle to be inarticulate and uncapitalized every so often.

man, leopard print blanket is uber lonely right now.

Lets get this party started right,
Lets get drunk and freaky fly (ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-eyyyy)

Saw this luscious little frame I ain't lyin' fellas she was fine
The sweet young miss go gave me a kiss and I knew that she was mine
Took her to the limousine still parked outside
I tipped the chauffeur when it was over and I gave her my own ride
Couldn't get her off my jack she was like static cling
But that's what happens when body start slappin' from doin' the wild thing

Wild thing
She wanna do the wild thing
Please baby baby please

Wild thing

hell yeah! that's how i roll on tuesdays.

Let's do it.

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