Oct 29th, 2009 7:44:13 pm - Subscribe
Mood: brown
lovely things:: pumpkin painting

So being 21 isn't exactly panning out as I had hoped. Now as they say about rock bottom, nowhere left to go but up. I believe that might apply here. Or I'd like to believe that because if that's not true then.. well that just fucking sucks for me.

But sticking to the positive side of the street here...

Let's say I have the ambition to be the star behind all the stars. This week we shot a few scenes for the video segments, me assisting on set. It was a pretty fun time working with Keith, kind of a famous and super nice guy. No big deal, you guys recollect a little show called Degrassi?
Let's say I want to do big creative things and not get stuck in some job that demands I abandon all chances of enjoying my youthful years. Because I've got the rest of my life to become an adult, it only moves forward after all. There's no rush. I'd hate to regret not having done the things I wanted to. I think I'm doing a pretty good job of minimizing regrets so far.
So perhaps this whole 'heartbreak -> destructiveness -> returned bliss -> heartbreak -> destroying myself once more in style' sick little period of time can come to an end and blossom into something nice and pretty. I'm hopin' like a muthafucka for a little chrysalis like turnaround in recent events. I'm learning loads but still unsure of how to use all that properly in the real world with real people who are out to get you one way or another. Some tricky shit.
But the conclusion I've reached is that there's Hope of a way up and out of this. If I don't pass out from all this coughing that's happening first.
Comments: (1)

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skeebs - September 24th, 2011
I found you again, but now you've been gone. The machete operated girl xx


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