fobs
Date: Mar 17th, 2006 7:57:48 am - Subscribe
Mood: incomplete
i cant focus. finals week is coming up, and i cant even try to study. ugh this is such a bummer and i need to study. its midnight, get some sleep. so many things on my mind but can't really put to words. exept for the fact that i'm getting really broke. ughhhhh.
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i am such a party pooper
Date: Mar 6th, 2006 9:58:40 am - Subscribe
Mood: discontent
okay you know you're a loser when you had a shitty weekend and a very uneventful one at that when you know you're by yourself, and people invite you to do things, and you still want to be alone.
but that was okay, it was nice to be able to reevaluate myself by myself. man i'm hungry. i want to be like a star and just not eat. watching the oscars just screams at you to make you anorexic. seriously, how can anyone say to love your body when the media is screaming for you not to be? you open a magazine, you turn on the tv and all you see are those skinny whores who are making money by not eating. as much as i hate it, and as much as i hate looking at nicole richie, i can't help but want to be like her.
i want to be happy when i walk in a fitting room and feel the jeans loosely fit into my legs. i hate feeling fat. i hate it even more when people tell me i'm not.
i hate my legs, i think they're too big. my arms could use some work. and i don't even want to get started with my belly.
kate winslet makes me happy. titanic is nice. i'm going to suck in my stomach for the rest of my fucking life.
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a sag curse
Date: Feb 27th, 2006 10:25:05 am - Subscribe
Mood: lame
i am constantly craving attention
i'm obsessed with becoming a better self
except i know i'll never be happy
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i am not happy
Date: Feb 15th, 2006 10:53:51 am - Subscribe
Mood: hysterical
i want to be happy. what's making me like this!
AHH IM SOO FRUSTRATED WITH LOVE
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happy valentines day
Date: Feb 15th, 2006 2:04:41 am - Subscribe
Mood: regretful
yeah so here i am sitting at the library on what's supposed to be love day. i have someone on this day, but for some reason i feel almost alone as ever. and i don't really know why. i have someone, i should be happy. i should be happy he's there, he's forgiving, he's kind, but it's not that. there's something missing. and that missing something is ruining this entire relationship i spent 5 whole months trying to work out. but there's nothing wrong. maybe that's the problem? i feel so numb to this relationship, sometimes i don't think it even exists. at least that's how i'm feeling about it. my heart's not in it, my mind, i'm just out of it. and he doesn't deserve it. and i have nothing to show for it.
nothing at all. i'm such a bitch.
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