outoforder's Blog

so unrelentingly lazy
Date: Oct 31st, 2005 11:17:44 pm - Subscribe
Mood: deflated


i need to get to work. the thing is, i really don't want to. i'm so unmotivated it makes me disgustingly sick of myself. i need to get on top of things and i know i should, but i let myself do this and i suck ass. i'm not being harsh because i'm not doing too great in my classes and i'm going to fail if i don't decide to stop being so fucking lazy with everything.

on the bright side, there really isn't a bright side. the boyfriend is good, i'm falling for him. halloween sucks on a monday, but i had my share of fun this weekend. i'm stressingout from school and breaking out. i'm tired all the time. i'm lazy all the time. i need motivation.

i need inspiration. damnit where do i find that shit.

yeah. that's it. i typed lazy 3 times.
Comments: (0)

on a brighter note
Date: Oct 19th, 2005 3:46:08 am - Subscribe
Mood: spacey


i failed my ochem midterm. i tripped. i scraped my knee. i let my hand bleed. i felt like throwing up. i hate a bombass dinner. i think i gained a thousand pounds. i did some homework.

my dad got in a car accident last night. 5-car and his flipped over. that makes me scared to drive. thank god he's okay.
Comments: (2)

wow.
Date: Oct 17th, 2005 6:09:30 am - Subscribe
Mood: upset


i don't think i'll ever be content with myself, really.

let's see, i've been on a diet for as long as i can remember.

i want to be skinny.
i want to be pretty.

most importantly, i kinda just want to be happy.

like genuinely happy, not that bullshit "it's a sunny day i'm happy" i pull off sometimes.

i know, i'm a goddamn mess.
Comments: (3)

yep
Date: Oct 15th, 2005 8:29:24 pm - Subscribe
Mood: cheeky


And sometimes when you're on
You're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you
But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be better
You'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter or son
And a real good friend
And you'll be awake
You'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all of your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest
You'll be brave
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy
Comments: (0)

fucking bad week
Date: Oct 7th, 2005 5:36:06 am - Subscribe
Mood: bummed


1. i hate bad weeks.
2. i hate dentists
3. i hate boyfriends that don't call you back
4. i hate girls who are skinny
5. i hate girls who are skinny and pretty
6. i hate staying up late and being tired
7. i hate working on friday nights
8. i hate being away from home
9. i hate exes that are happy
10. i hate guys that fuck you over
11. i hate the sound of cars out of the window
12. i hate physics quizzes
13. i hate feeling ugly
14. i hate feeling fat
15. i fucking hate hating
Comments: (2)