outoforder's Blog

this song is always in my head
Date: Sep 9th, 2005 4:14:58 am - Subscribe
Mood: chillin


matchbox twenty-bed of lies

i still think about him. but i don't want to think about thinking about him because it makes me think about him even more and i don't need that. because i'm trying to get him out of my life.

i absolutely hate talking to drew on the phone. he just sucks at it and i feel that he has no interest in me whatsoever when we talk on the phone. we connect so much better in person. is that a strange thing?

i also don't like thinking i'm fat. because it just makes me feel even fatter and useless. i want to be more like nicole cross. because she's so skinny and she can control her cravings. i hate feeling fat and never not feeling fat. that's so asian girl status of me. that's so girl status of me.

tim's birthday today. i didn't get him anything because i didn't want him to fall for me. i felt kind of bad, but i felt it was necessary for him not to get anything from me. so maybe he would think i'm a bad person, which is a good thing.

school's starting soon and i'm not looking forward to it. i'm enjoying being here so much that it makes me sad to think otherwise. especially since i'm falling for a guy. sigh sigh and more sigh.

keane reminds me soo much of him it's disgusting. i need to change the song.

i love chinese music. i want to date a chinese boy sometimes.

i lost my keys today and found them at urban outfitters. good job chris. i'm such a lameass.

tanya's last day of work tomorrow. umm..i'm sad about that. i'm going to go now. i'm tired of typing and i want to sleep with drew's sweater and make it smell like me so he'll like me more.


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