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we need to talk and im to scared to call u, but god i need it after that weekend with u and me it felt wonderful and i have more feelins then i would like to admit for u what are we? what am i to u just another body? ill see u at work where we will pretend we dont know each other very well when we both know thats a lie |
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i wish it would stop being gross out last night i went bowling with trisha and friends and that was nice then i went to barts house where i compleatly lost track of time i have just discovered buffy extras LOL hhmm im tired adios |
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im kinda depressed its like sometimes i dont feel like u give one little shit for me and to find out u wanted to go drinking with someone who proablly didnt wanna that much and thats why u treated me like jack shit? cuz really thats not fair. i cant help it i cant go to bars... sometimes i feel like its all for nothing and it is i think if u dont call me by monday... i think i cant go on cuz i will be noones secound best EVER and its hurts to think that we could be over before we begin but i cant go on and its not even that cuz u cant even tell me the truth if u would have told me i would have been way less of a bitch. i dont understand how you can do this to me again and again and figure ill be ok with it , im not. i dont get why its so one min u love me the next u cant stand to be near me i wish we could have something in the middle and i know that im overeacting yet again and it would be ok if u hadnt been so mean when i was with u then i wouldnt even have this feeling like you should call me. i feel like the only reason u like me is cuz i have a nice body SHIT -ariel |
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ugh it feels like i only write in here when im sad i will try harder to write when happy. i hate fighting with my mom about things i was gonna do after lunch anyways i hate crying. i hate feeling bad cuz half of the bad things she said about me might be a little true. i hate sounding like im gonna cry on the phone when its not anything about the person im on the phone with. i hate me. stargate was ok last night, a bit boreing in need of boys. danceing on stage was ok only parts got awkward. im gonna go clean some more and try not to cry ariel |
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work was ok and ... I MISS YOU TIMES A HUNDRED manda and anna over and we chilled at my house -ariel |