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LOL THIS IS EPIC. I was trying to be nice and civil before. But now you're just plain mean. How do you know what my blog is about? How do you come to classify it as "self-hating?" Did you read past the first 2 entries or did you just jump at the chance to bring someone down, <i>online</i>? You could have just kept your mouth shut, if you didn't want to sound ignorant or immature, or you could have read some more and realized that 80% of the time, my blog is not about my weight or how much I hate myself. Actually, I don't hate myself. I'm constantly trying to improve myself, but who are you to judge me? Heck, I'm a perfectionist. If you wanna loosely label me as being anorexic, sure, I'm fine with it, it is human nature to label because you really don't know me that well. But first, go back a couple of pages if you don't want to sound like a complete idiot. I got into this whole "eating fiasco" through a documentary I was making for a class of mine at the time. I hung out with a bunch of girls with self-esteem problems and other shit going on in there lives. I probably spent six months on this documentary after I handed it in. I got so wrapped up in it, in the people I "learned" about that maybe I became one of them. Or at least a loose version of one.
You probably do not know, nor will ever know why it happens. You probably don't know how it feels to live with it. I am not trying to sound dramatic or anything, because
a)I'm not depressed all the time or some shit.
b)I'm not looking for pity or anything
It is not a disease, but nor is it a choice for me. I could say it is a bad habit of mine, just like some people bite their nails or tap their feet.
I do have to give you a chance though, since I too know the sort of people you can be talking about. The girls who talk about it in public, hoping people hear them. The girls that talk about it 80% of the time, and hope someone brings it up the other 20%, the kind who spend an hour after eating out in the bathroom.
Sorry for wasting your time. |
