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We've been back together again for a little bit now. Maybe two weeks. Who's counting, though, really..? I'm glad. I honestly am. I was so chickenshit to come back and post here, you know..? I didn't want to..deal with seeing those feelings that I'd went through. Today is a good day, I suppose. I'm quite scared though, right now. I mean, I can get these feelings of ..anxiety and pressure--and they can be very strong. For example, right now, I'm so scared about something that won't even happen. If I make a big deal out of it, it will blow up in my fact-- I guess I have irrationally anxious feelings about things. I am thinking about trying meditation... :/ Boost me on another effortless endeavor, wouldja? ![]() I love you, Randy. |
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All things fabulous--that is my simple request..all things fabulous.. Well..it worked. I did some meditation while taking a long hot bath. I think both of those techniques worked a lot for me. You know..I remember being a lot less anxious in highschool, but I also remember doing myself favors back then, too. For example, I have this large collection of candles. So, every Friday when I would come home I would take all of my best-smelling candles into the bathroom with me. I would line the bath tub with them, run my hot hot hot water, light all of my candles, and then turn off all the lights in the house. Man, that was the life. |
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Okay, so my blog has a LOT of personal feelings in it. I say some things that would be churned up by society as psychotic. (Even that statement would, too! Oh, you laugh and say 'whatever, that's not that bad', but if I'd been sent to prison or something, the fact that I admitted to saying some pretty psychotic or stupid things on my blog only shows how crazy I am? Or..that's how the media would take it anyway! Lol.) Now, we all may not know who Kevin Ray Underwood is. Well, I'll tell you. This is a sick, sick man who ended up doing some things to a little girl (10 years old) whom he lived below. Although all of the stories haven't said so, I'm certain (? Maybe) that he raped the girl either before or after killing her and attempting to sever her parts from her body with a saw. (I know that this isn't a laughing matter, but it takes some balls to use a common hack-saw to try to chop someone up. Now, granted, he miserably failed at it and didn't try any other method..) He admitted his guilt and got arrested. He had a blog on the internet, here's a link to it: http://futureworldruler.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_archive.html The media took random quotes from his blog and some were out of context. Now, I am in no way on his side in any of this, but it just makes me mad that the media would do that. I mean the people reading the article already hate the man. So, why the excess, NBC? Are you worried that America wouldn't hate him enough? I mean, the guy's in prison for raping and killing an innocent child. My rating on the article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12344689/ Two thumbs down, down, down. Makes me hate NBC. I mean, if I died, would NBC churn my blog for me saying, "I don't believe in God. Ever. He's a figment of the world's imagination. I mean, honestly, you can't see the thing, you can't hear it. You never have nor ever will,"? What about my speculations of my neuroticism? Of course I was over dramatizing the situation. I just worry sometimes about my affect on other people. Clearly I'm not a neurotic putz every single day nor every month. In fact, I've switched birth control to Nuva Ring and my hormones, I suppose, are more balanced and my mood swings haven't been better. So, it's safe to say that instead of being neurotic and whatever else I've -ever- accused myself of being within the last 3 years was just my way of stating my own notice of my moody change. In fact, I have been diagnosed by my geino as being extremely sensitive to hormone level change. ![]() Nyeh. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, NBC. (That was just incase I go 'out' pulling a true-to-life version of Grand Theft Auto!) (And just so the media doesn't CONFUSE THAT WITH SERIOUSNESS, I was just kidding..I doubt I'd ever kill a hooker...haaa!--okay..I'm done addressing the media..I'm going back to joking around and stuff) Anyway, enjoy those links. |
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http://giulianimarriedhiscousin.com/ (It's true!) America..this is weird. Stop doing it. I mean, the whole thing about studies showing that cousin relationships and sibling relationships won't produce messed up progyny must be fixed or something. Here we go, an article that has been published that backs me up: http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/pagerender.fcgi?artid=1504045&pageindex=1 More notably, let's zero in on this statement: "Of the 31 children in these two studies--12 born to father-daughter and 19 to sister-brother matings--only 13 were normal." Wow. Okay, if that's not a good enough reason to leave your sibling or parent alone, I don't know what is. Let's continue: "Two died from recessive disorders (cystic fibrosis and glycogen-storage disease) and one from an almost certainly recessive disorder causing progressive cerebral degeneration and loss of vision. Two of those alive probably had recessive disorders, both with severe mental retardation with cerebral palsy, and one a possibly recessive disorder, severe non-specific mental retardation. Two others had died in the neonatal period, a baby with very low birth weight and another with respiratorydistress syndrome. Two had congenital malformations, a lethal Fallot's tetralogy and a survivor with bilateral cleft lip. Eight other survivors were mildly mentally retarded with IQs in seven ranging from 59 to 76; the eighth, whose IQ score was not available, was in a school for the educationally subnormal. This increase in recessive disorders-between three and six cases in 31 children compared with an expected incidence in the general population of two or three per thousand-is in line with expectations." Read that. |
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1. "Love Me Tender" - Norah Jones 2. "Landslide" - Fleetwood Mac 3. "Crash Into Me" - Dave Matthews Band 4. "Yellow" - ColdPlay 5. "Aqueous Transmission" - Incubus (The first song my boyfriend ever mentioned that reminded him of me..Very special!) 6. "Something" - The Beatles Everything is better..and everything will stay that way. ![]() It will. You'll see. So, now that everything is doing better..I don't have much else to say, really..because my allergies/sinuses are making me sleepy. So...I'm going to nap..I love you, baby. I'll dream about you. I'll miss you. Night night, sweet pea. Bye. |