perhapsnot's Blog

I wish I could have my cake and eat it, too.
Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 4:53:51 am - Subscribe
Mood: vulnerable


I'm scared to move away. I mean, I'm not sure I'm ready to leave home, and now it's like I don't have a choice. And I know that sounds horrible, because I really want to move, Greek is so good to me and I love him SO damn much...I'm just scared of being so far away from my family. I'm being thrust away and thrown to the other side of the country. My dad has been crying a lot lately and I hate that I'm the cause of his pain...He's not ready to let me go, either. I know that I'll always be close to my family, even if it's not physically. I'm just going to miss them a lot and I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that in about a month I'm not going to see them every day and I will officially have to be a grown up. I always felt grown up...but now I feel like such a little kid. I just want to crawl into my daddy's arms and be his "monster mash." I want to help my mom bake Christmas cookies because I like it and she lets me eat the dough, not because I'm putting them in a Christmas basket for my inlaws. It takes a lot for me to admit that I'm just not ready to leave home...and I hate that I even have to say that I don't have a choice...because I made my choice, and it was TO move...and to be with Greek. We'll only be away for a couple years...and I know I'll get used to it...I'm just...I'm just going to miss my family so much.
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