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Time Flies.... 29 Jun 2015, Monday - 03:36 am - Subscribe
Mood | sated

Its been years.. 3 to 4 years maybe, since I first step into here... This "place' held 1 over years of intense memories.. be it fond or otherwise..

Rested at home today.. give the excuse of tooth implant to finish a serial.. "he who catches the rainbow".. as usual left me full of emotions.. only to know that after the show, its really jus a show..

sometimes i felt so empty.. is it becos my life is too plain sailing or tht i didnt do anything to improve wat i am doing now.

is tat why my mind keep wondering, wanting to find external pleasures to give myselfa bit more life, abit more colourful than the dull grey mono tone.

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I am so tired 22 Apr 2014, Tuesday - 09:27 pm - Subscribe
Mood | pissy

Tired of life, tired of work
Tired of being pissed

Despite all.. i am still at work
Holding back tears that is on the verge
of sneaking out of the gland..

Heavy aura surrounds me
feeling fogged and choked..
Taking deep and sloppy breaths
i still can't help but feeling down..

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So long.. So forth.. Heat In A summer field 22 Apr 2014, Tuesday - 08:57 am - Subscribe
Mood | mercurial

Faltering, stattering wonky steps
Tinkle winkle, blinks the eye

Heat and humid dun play well
Makes u swalter in your wear

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The line of evil and good.. 17 Mar 2014, Monday - 08:19 am - Subscribe
Mood | gothic
Thoughts of the Day | I wish u know..

As the saying goes...

The higher you get.. The lonelier u become

We are but pheasants of the city
Standing on concrete farms,
Looking far and wide
For a better catch to last
For So long and good..

We all have .. a line of doubt
Be it a thick grey line or
A thin grey line
Truth be told
Is what u believe

The world is round
A right turn slap
Returns a left turn kick
It may not happen now..
It may have happen then
But who am I to judge n tell

I m but a messenger of
What u believe
Who u are..

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J2O2 16 Mar 2014, Sunday - 11:32 am - Subscribe
Mood | Charmed
Thoughts of the Day | Crossing dreams

Charmed and be Charmed ... Yet again
In the midst of a big ocean
Did I miss a step, and fallen on some twigs
Did I catch the openness as who he is
Or the knowledge he wants me to know

Finest in its way, a scholarly charm
Armed a gentle smile , yet steely in the mind
Will there ever be another time..
Of fine talks and laughs.
Underneath a face of Charm n Grace

Time will tell, the sky will know
The earth shall bring, the wind whispers
Your name to my ears in magic melody..

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Wings... 08 Oct 2013, Tuesday - 09:19 am - Subscribe
Mood | Hovering on the Balance
Thoughts of the Day | I cross my fingers on my heart.

A sizzle of smoke
A wisp of cloud
A gentle tink
A sight waken

A gap of light
A fervor of touch
The faries wings
Are.... Spread


2 years has past... Many things have not change. The very force tat pulls 2 together is back working hard.

Time has moved. But feelings.. Wat about them...

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Meeting nothingless... 06 Oct 2013, Sunday - 12:50 am - Subscribe
Mood | Always miss u

I felt so empty, nothing seems to matters anymore. Am I hitting mid life crisis? I hope not. I miss a past existence.. I miss those times.. Young n carefree.. At least there's something to look forward too..

What has changed in me. I dun know too.. It's like I m getting sicker n sicker of life.. Where's the goal ? Wats the dream?

Whenever I lost, I miss BSM.. Guess that's becos it's one of the recent wonderful memories that beholds and still enthralls me.. I know it won't be back. Priorities have changed. People have changed. I jus hope the good memories dun die out on me.

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nostalgia moments.. 19 Jul 2013, Friday - 01:36 am - Subscribe
Mood | superb

Yup it happens. Feelings that swarm me like huge wave that slaps..

Ouch.. a blatant untruth. . So easily uncover...

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Distance..... from the Healer 02 Feb 2013, Saturday - 10:58 am - Subscribe
Mood | daunted

Although I have somehow felt the distance. it is a gd thing i supposed. i didnt felt as wanting as it used to be.. it just had became a passing by cloud.. although i still see you once a while . but its getting easier to managed. i've gotten colder, and i shd be even colder. maybe i shd just ignore u even more ..

after that thur nite conversation. i think u have made your stand pretty clear and i suppossed it makes good sense too.

^^__^^ ||||| ((**_**))

For so many people I get to meet.
Fate has destined for us to meet
A good twist of fate; you did wat was right
Despite my laying of the path,
You have cleverly avoided the darth trap.

When I get to know.. a little more of you each time;
The feeling of dejavu gets a little stronger;
the more I know, the more I felt.

Once a while, I still think of you.
Not that I missed you.
But for the resemblance you had;
for someone I once held close.

He has now, became a thing of the past.
An icon in my heart.
A memory that I still pulls out
when I want to Remicise
We had distanced.. mentally and physically. I dun yearn, nor do i missed him anymore.

Sometimes i wonder.. wat would happen if u did appear that nite.
But I guess, its best not to know. Time to behave and be a good old gal.

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Thank u Fairie. 14 Jan 2013, Monday - 04:56 am - Subscribe
Mood | balanced

After talking to fairie. Felt much better n calmer. So fairie still has a soothing effect over the panicky stage I was at few days back. I guess it's a good distraction from the healer. Someone for me to re-focus my emotional well being. Make me slightly More balanced in a way.

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Healer slips into my mind again. ... 13 Jan 2013, Sunday - 02:12 pm - Subscribe
Mood | sentimental

It's 4am in the morning. DS2 wakes me up to say he peed on the bed.... Cleared up the mess n send him to sleep.

And as usual, every waking moment, someone always slips into the conscious. Just like the last time.

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thinking of 10 Jan 2013, Thursday - 06:32 am - Subscribe
Mood | unsettled

its a long 3 hours conversation today.. i really fall off my chair..beneath the ordinary stone lies a stunning gem. what i called a wolf in sheep clothing.

1st time in my life. i have to admit defeat. think i hv fallen again.

And i thought he shall be the Healer.

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Tiring n really tired of life.. 18 Sep 2012, Tuesday - 11:19 am - Subscribe
Mood | lifeless

It's been a while since I last pop by. Now I only have this little page for to offload my rumbles and grumbles. Things are just not the same anymore.
Wonder If the originator still pops by. which I guess is highly unlikely. Everyone's just too busy with their own life n activities. How would he remember or even bothered. It will probably bring in sad than happy memories that will spoilt the day,even further.

Dear aeon,
I m very sad today. Here I am struggling with all the household work, the kids homework and there he is. Comfortably watching tv. I felt so lousy tat I literally move my pillow to the study room. I dun know how long can I stand this anymore. If I have another chance to make a choice. It will be different. Totally different. As much as I tell myself. This I the choice I made stupidly back then. I can blame no one but myself. Stupid mistake that cost all these misery for life. The only way is just to keep on walking, keep on tolerating. Until the day I die. Hopefully I die before him, long before him.. I am so sad. So unhappy.

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Say cheese! Click. 09 Jul 2012, Monday - 07:50 am - Subscribe
Mood | dancy

Yeah ^_^.

Just wan to say thank u for being around. For being available. Although the fairy tale has ceased. A fragment still lingers around. Maybe that's part of what kept me going. Knowin somewhere it still existed.

Someday when this place is remembered, maybe that's where the mystery of the greenhouse will be solved.

Say cheese! Click.

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IMUEN 06 Jul 2012, Friday - 07:37 am - Subscribe
Mood | Not good.

In the passing of time
May the clock slow down
Untying the knots created by thy hand
Endearing the moments of truth and happiness
Nestle in the hidden world, my greenhouse.

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Wet morning. 03 Jul 2012, Tuesday - 08:01 pm - Subscribe
Mood | saturnine

This very min. This very scene reminds me of a scene wedged somewhere. It's a wet Morning in a vehicle. Except tat this is Alot Alot bigger and a lot more people.

Haven't taken bfast, and feeling bit hungry on the way to my destination. Scheduled for a last minute meeting. Guess its going to be a full day in office later.

Icon not working. My lids are getting heavier by thE minute. Guess its the wet weather.

Ciao. Oh! My handsome just left his seat. No more eye candy. Even though. It's just the back view.

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The Road in a Greenhouse 03 Jul 2012, Tuesday - 10:20 am - Subscribe
Mood | alive

I am in a greenhouse, surrounded with glass.. The world outside can see me, I can see them
We can be standing just 2 inch apart.. but they can never reach me..

Did I forge this greenhouse myself, leaving only a handful that can reach me.. Leaving the rest of the world outside.. including A?

He has never been able to reach me.. even when we are 2 inch apart..

Sometimes.. I tear a strand or two thinking how lonely my path has become.. without food for the soul. Many a times, i pause for a min to feed the loneliness and hopefully that 1 min can last me for a few days or a few weeks..

time for bed.... *yawn**

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Audi showroom 12 May 2012, Saturday - 05:10 am - Subscribe
Mood | forgotten

Out of no where, i suddenly felt nostalgia about ... some time, not too long ago.. I step into Audi showroom with someone.

That nostalgia feeling.. a sense of "happiness" or pride being seen as "a pair". That perception by others.. was i envied, i thought.. maybe not.

not the pretty , slim, sexy chic that most man like to be seen with..

suddenly, i just missed those feelings, the experience, the memories.. hazy and clear.. time spent.. half day, 1 day, a few hours at different places..

the captured memories.. sometimes i thought one day i will just forget everything. but it just keeps coming back to me ..not once a while..but once every other day.. at times, i will sit in and dwell.. at times i let it past, at times it bring a smile, at times i sigh, well knowing its only a thing of the past.. a memory to behold.

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under weather.. 25 Apr 2012, Wednesday - 08:10 pm - Subscribe
Mood | exasperated

feeling a little sad now.. whatever the reason i dun know..
liquid seems to be roaming in the hidden glands. just waiting for a reason, a thought to jump out into the open air..
'its"always there for me to see;
i wonder how long will my mood change..
is it becos i m tired.. mentally ..


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a little nostalgic today 17 Apr 2012, Tuesday - 10:33 pm - Subscribe
Mood | beat

every morning.. i remicise
thinking of the little things that had happened
a year or two ago
a decade or two ago
places that i hv been; places we have been
things i hv given n received
feelings i hv given n received
thoughts i hv given n received
experiences that has given me something to remember as i aged.

experiences that when it happen, it felt nothing. but has become precious as memories start to fade bit by bit.. leaving only those really memorable ones stored in the permanent zone.. lots of teeny weeny bits of flashbacks here and there.

i miss those time.. and i also know its now a part of memory.. a part of the past .. which only i know when i mentally flipped thru the pages in times.. smiling to myself.. No one else hv to know. for its me,myself and my nick.

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