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| Audi showroom |
12 May 2012, Saturday - 06:10 am - Subscribe |
| Out of no where, i suddenly felt nostalgia about ... some time, not too long ago.. I step into Audi showroom with someone. That nostalgia feeling.. a sense of "happiness" or pride being seen as "a pair". That perception by others.. was i envied, i thought.. maybe not. not the pretty , slim, sexy chic that most man like to be seen with.. suddenly, i just missed those feelings, the experience, the memories.. hazy and clear.. time spent.. half day, 1 day, a few hours at different places.. the captured memories.. sometimes i thought one day i will just forget everything. but it just keeps coming back to me ..not once a while..but once every other day.. at times, i will sit in and dwell.. at times i let it past, at times it bring a smile, at times i sigh, well knowing its only a thing of the past.. a memory to behold. |
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| mood: forgotten |
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| under weather.. |
25 Apr 2012, Wednesday - 09:10 pm - Subscribe |
| feeling a little sad now.. whatever the reason i dun know.. liquid seems to be roaming in the hidden glands. just waiting for a reason, a thought to jump out into the open air.. 'its"always there for me to see; i wonder how long will my mood change.. is it becos i m tired.. mentally .. WHAT A BLAST!!! BLEAHHHHH |
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| mood: exasperated |
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| a little nostalgic today |
17 Apr 2012, Tuesday - 11:33 pm - Subscribe |
| every morning.. i remicise thinking of the little things that had happened a year or two ago a decade or two ago places that i hv been; places we have been things i hv given n received feelings i hv given n received thoughts i hv given n received experiences that has given me something to remember as i aged. experiences that when it happen, it felt nothing. but has become precious as memories start to fade bit by bit.. leaving only those really memorable ones stored in the permanent zone.. lots of teeny weeny bits of flashbacks here and there. i miss those time.. and i also know its now a part of memory.. a part of the past .. which only i know when i mentally flipped thru the pages in times.. smiling to myself.. No one else hv to know. for its me,myself and my nick. |
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| mood: beat |
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| Life antecedent |
08 Jan 2012, Sunday - 11:53 am - Subscribe |
| What is life. What about getting a life and having a life? Recently, icame onto the 'rich rich ' world. It's all about networking and relationship with the rich. In the circle of trust. |
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| mood: so-so |
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| Smiling to the bank... |
07 Dec 2011, Wednesday - 07:25 am - Subscribe |
| It's been a long time since I came in to express some thoughts. First n foremost, I m smiling. Investment has seen some handsome returns. And I m really pleased. Friends who has joined me are too smiling to the bank. Happy Tat I've help them earned some profit. Going to snow city tmr with the little one. But he's still sick. Hopefully, he ll feel better by tomorrow. Spent the most this Xmas for some close friends n relatives n colleagues. Life has been normal again. Buts it's different from last year. It's been 2 years since the whole thing started... It has somehow closed quietly. We are back to our individual life, only maintaining an occasional contact. To an extent, miss those times Tat was spent together. The fun, the laughter. Guess it's a phase of passin cloud. Once the rain stops, the sky clear. the cloud has pass. Moving on to another piece of the sky. |
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| mood: smiley Thoughts of the Day: Looking ahead... |
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| Struggling |
01 Oct 2011, Saturday - 10:15 am - Subscribe |
| Very tired. i tried.. maybe not hard enough for so many times.. tears welled sometimes it fell.. sometimes it doesn't i just let the numbness took over be one without feeling so i dun feel hurt or pain or thrashed i just look blank; blankly emotionless cultivate to such extent of having that void look into space; talking nothing; just robotically moving no matter how badly thrashed. tImEs uP! |
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| mood: philosophical |
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| I am Philotes .... |
27 Sep 2011, Tuesday - 10:45 am - Subscribe |
| Come to think about this.. I am not as warm as what Philotes depicts... In fact, i think i am cold.. cool.. at most luke warm.. |
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| mood: whatever |
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| Choices.. |
16 Sep 2011, Friday - 01:13 am - Subscribe |
| In our lives, its about choices. Choice of who we wan to be with. Choices of how u wan to spend your time, who and what you wan to spend with. There are people who spent all their lives working and working.. neglecting people around them.. And when finally struck with some stupid deadly disease.. then they finally woke up and realize how much they have missed out in life .. ( so drama ^_^ !!!!) With only 24 hours a day.. work life taken up about 1/3 of it. Sleep takes up another 1/3 of it. The balance 1/3 is to do all other kinds of things when u aren't working for sleeping.. Priority = choice. Yes, absolutely. In any circumstances, people will always give priority to the things that attracts them most at that point in time.. It could be work, could be woman, could be money or interest.. Nothing of these can take priority together, only 1 at a time. For a person that has loses priority over work or interest is pathetic. Its seem like a discarded pc of junk, only to be look at occassionally out of the blue.. There must be something the person has not done enough, or not done right to warrant the lost of interest to the other party.. But wat's sad is that, the time, effort, energy that has all been lost.. Wat's worst is the feelings, the trust and comfort built with time has also slipped thru the hands into the big vast ocean. Although choices can be made individually, it still takes 2 hands to clapped. |
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| mood: lackadaisical |
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| Tiring night |
15 Sep 2011, Thursday - 01:51 pm - Subscribe |
| 145 am Little one threw up twice. After all these hustle, though I m v tired. I can't get to sleep. It's been a problem recently, once awake I can't get back to sleep until a couple of hours later which by then, it's wakey time. Sigh....guess age is catching up. |
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| mood: whimsical |
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| Just trying.. & still trying to be ... |
12 Sep 2011, Monday - 10:08 pm - Subscribe |
| that is all i am trying to do; it sounds so easy, tat's what pple says .. but it ain't so easy after all all i wan is just to be ... its such a simple word but it is such a big meaning in every angle in different perspective; it can be a big ... it can be a small ... I am still trying.. and trying .. and trying sometimes when I think I am ... , something will happen to sink me down |
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| mood: melodramatic |
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| Ning Greetings has stopped |
07 Sep 2011, Wednesday - 01:17 pm - Subscribe |
| Yes, it has finally stopped...upon my request. Since dun know when, I dun look fwd to receiving nings anymore. A period of time long long ago,I woke up every morning looking forward to receiving Nings. Not anymore.... I m not too sad Tat we arent talking a lot either. It seems Tat this is going be a thing of the past soon. 130 am. I sure am tired now. Night. |
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| mood: Slone |
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| Damaged.. |
31 Aug 2011, Wednesday - 12:05 am - Subscribe |
| I have no idea how much damage it will cause. A long lone path. Something very much beyond my expectation! Now I noe why.. It will be time that will heal. Its the aftermath that came blatantly Lo & Behold, the "almighty" one Scurrying in a black hole |
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| mood: emotional Thoughts of the Day: wrecked.. beyond and after |
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| Feeling down... |
30 Aug 2011, Tuesday - 10:21 pm - Subscribe |
| Its the last day of Aug. Beginning of the 8th Lunar month.. Past couple of days were in a state of self denial. Finished a 20-episode serial in 5 days, starring one of my fav suave Korean star, Min Ho. Thoughts keeps surfacing.. questioning thoughts.. why am i still holding on to fairy?? cos dun wan to go thru the pain of losing? cos it doesn't takes much time to maintain, so leave it as it is? cos there's still friendship between us? Feelings have diminished so much between us. Time spent are so much lesser. Trust built... I dun know if I still hold this much trust in him.. Honestly, I feel like I am going thru wat S goes through during their last stage.. He is always so busy.. not picking up calls.. constantly on conference (as he claims) .. Why would conference happen during lunch hours?? despite being overseas call.. it cant be happening every other day right!! I know he is mentally prepared to let me go.. its probably a matter of time. Part of me wanted it to hurt badly.. but I guess it wont be as bad as its with S. We were not that close, not close enough to warrant that level of hurt. I am only a stand in.. in stealth. Just someone that pulled him thru the worst of time.. Lingered for a while, then slowly disappearing into the clouds.. Its been 1 year 7 mths.. |
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| mood: disconnected |
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| New Head os |
26 Aug 2011, Friday - 08:19 pm - Subscribe |
| Its still raining now. And heavily here. The state is choosing a new head today. So far, 2 players seemed to be more outstanding. TT & TCB. it seems tat TCB have swayed many votes from his rally n speech.... Very tired waiting. This whole thing has jus evolved around waiting n waiting. Whatever past good feel has built up has gone into the sea.... Jus too much waiting. All I can say is ... I jus dun hv the patience anymore. Watever the case is, i m jus tired from waiting. Frankly I ask myself, so wat if we meet up soon. Wat kind of attitude will show up. How will the atmosphere be. Negative. I believe i will emit negative energy. With so much bottled up disappointment, I will be a mood spoiler. It's just not wise anymore. |
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| mood: frazzled |
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| Roller up up up n down down down... |
20 Aug 2011, Saturday - 01:35 pm - Subscribe |
| It's 120am. Not doubt, I am super tired, but the urge to pen this down is still stronger than without a few minutes of sleep.. As I gets older n older, it seems tat things N emotions gets to me faster n stronger. Tears easily well up in face of sad occasions or just watching a show... I was not like this previously. I seemed to be riding on this huge emo roller coaster tat can spin out of control anytime. Maybe I am still in my own self denial. I dun know how things will turn out in the future, though I know relations take 2 hands to clapped, jointly and consistently. I miss, absolutely miss those times when the feelings are at it's peak. Though at times, it can be quite torturous not being able to see each other when there are so much longing. But it's exactly these feelings Tat makes the memories of the past so sweet n endearing. I know such feelings will not present itself again... The passion, the hunger has diminish with time... A natural progression as with all lovers, esp us. |
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| mood: unique |
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| Whose Ball in whose court.. |
17 Aug 2011, Wednesday - 02:44 am - Subscribe |
| Should I.. Should I not Could we or couldn't we. Will it just be temp or turn out perm lest expectedly Maybe Maybe Maybe Crossing fingers, scrunching toes. |
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| mood: nifty |
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| Days gone in a blink |
15 Aug 2011, Monday - 12:18 pm - Subscribe |
| Counting back the days, it's been a long time since I last had a good full day spent with Fzzz.. Looking at the bracelet, sigh... Tat was the last time, in Jan is year. It's been 8 months... Since his bd till now, I hv asked so many so many times... Can u spend a day with me? Of course, I never got the answer I m looking towards to.. It's really sad Tat we used to share so much together. Talk abt everything under the sun. I now can't find back Tat feeling anymore. Fzzz has gone further n further away from me... I aldy forgotten how many nights hv I tot abt this n feeling sad,Moody n teary. Never a nite went by not thinking abt him. I dun exactly miss him badly anymore. But images, conversations, past msn conversations always float in when the night gets deeper n deeper. Rem those times when chats are every night affair.times where either party waits for the other party to log on jus becos there's so much to share, so much comfort in each others company. Times has changed, many events happened. Different priority has taken place. People's priority do changed. Back then, I felt like I was ace of queen, having top priority in his heart.. But now, I felt like a joker...taken out of the pack, only to be filled in when there's some card missing in the pack. A replacement. Those warm feelings Tat used to surround my heart has floated away. My little temple has been torn away bit by bit Wat saddens me more I wondered. To constantly wait n wait or just to let time fade this off... [Feelings a year back] @ JE TEMPLE 10 Jul 2010, Saturday - 05:56 am - Edit In a temple I carved for u Large enough for comfy Small enough to warm Without fire, but with love Here I stand with open arms For you to step in from your battle woes To perhaps heal the loss, to perhaps heal the pain To find your peace, to find tranquil In the temple I carved for u I hope it stays always Within the space I carved Shared by none but U & me [Feelings now....] Blank |
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| mood: Sadly empty |
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| Wats not right |
02 Aug 2011, Tuesday - 10:34 am - Subscribe |
| Today it's absolutely foul mood. Cough seems to catch me again. Twice I hv to stop walking n stay still so Tat the floor in front of me dun fly. Walking too fast gets me gulping for more air. Since when hv I became a gold fish. Anyway, kept to myself most of the time. Think i step a couple of tails i guess. Sigh. Hopefully tmr will be better. 'Amen' |
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| mood: Foully stinky. |
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| Better? Maybe a little! |
31 Jul 2011, Sunday - 06:25 am - Subscribe |
| Think I m a little better today. Guess maybe it's becos of weekend. But weekend is coming to a close soon. Well, Watever Tat will come, will come. Haiz... |
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| mood: slinky |
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| Day II |
27 Jul 2011, Wednesday - 08:39 am - Subscribe |
| As miserable as it felt, I believe I will get over this. I dun know how long it will take. But I know it's a matter of time, like wat happen previously. Some things are just meant to be. Some are not. Some are happy, some are sad. Without moment of sadness, where would happiness come from?? I will try to be happy. |
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| mood: blonde Thoughts of the Day: Action breeds reaction. |
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