pinkfissy's Blog

I had a dory Moment :(
Date: May 14th, 2008 11:53:22 pm - Subscribe
Mood: surreal


So i was cleaning the bathroom and ended up bumping my head on the sink. lol
i laughed at it. and well at the time it wasnt funny because i thought my teeth were going to fall out because i head it chatter. it was kind of heart wrenching. lol. but yeah so i was telling a friend because i wasnt really thinking straight and she said a comment that just made me feel like wow!
Something like I never think normally so no biggie. but it felt like she was trying to call me dumb. and for a second it hurt. is that how people preiceve me? as a joke, a dummy? Im not stupid. Im silly but dam like she doesnt even know me. She never talks to me. If anything Im listening and nodding and she is talking. she never asked anything about me.
Chinky thinks im smart. He knows im a nerd lol we talk. and well man it just shows the ignorance in people and i dont like it. but i cant just drop her it would be to funny. not in a haha hehe way either. like fishy funny. how you going to eat the bait and think the hook wont follow?
Im a little heavy at the heart when i think about her. she makes me feel really uncomfortable. Its weird. i tried so hard to be friends with her but for what? she is like stuck on chino. its aggrivating. thats why at the encounter i moved around. i want to get to know everyone. i want t obe everyone's friend. not just stuck with one person. & just me and that person utopia. its a mirage, get away!
grrr. idk. i just had t oget it off my chest.
god please help my heart ease. its troubled ever since i guess i started talking to and hanging out with chinky. i think i might be liking him. and im tying to use logical reasoning. im trying not to flirt. [[i eed to try harder lol]] but i dont know if i should continue or leave it alone. how do you know? how do you know if this is the path you are suppose to be taking?
how do you know? how do you know if its right? how do you know?
i need clean clothes for tomorrow i gotta finish cleaning lol. LAtERs!
Comments: (1)

peony - May 21st, 2008 You know it's right..if you can imagine yourself married to him..and still so deeply in love. Not the kind of "oh, I'll be the housewife (or whatever career you're choosing) and you'll be the rockstar (again, wichever) and we'll be happy!", but one of those..where the future paths you take are so..vague it doesn't matter, but you can see yourself kissing him, loving him, holding him, and making love to/with him in 20 years, still. Planning for forever is the key to not having a dead marriage after 2 years--that's the statistic now, right?

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