pretty_lie's Blog

[Just.another.Nothing..x.}
Date: Jul 12th, 2005 2:32:38 pm - Subscribe
Mood: nothing


And I guess I fully understand the meaning of bleeding mascara now thanks to you. I was fine before you, and now I'm sitting here, just thinking about you and what the past was like. My head and heart throbbing from the aching pain. It's dark outside, but tonight theres **no stars** to waste wishes about you on. And tonight theres no more pills to Numb the pain from you away with. ''YouKnowWhatIMean..x.}}'' I guess now they're only tears to you. It's only another broken heart. It's only another word. It's only another nothing you've lost. The sweet things you said... Were they sweetend meaningless words? Or were they true and from the heart. Everything I said, I said for you, and when I said forever, It shall always be true. It's mad becuase I think about you everyday, and it slays me to not know if I ever go through your mind. I know, that I probably don't, but everyone has to hope. And everything I write, it's always for you.

If I could tell you one last thing it would be that I miss you. And If I could hear you say one last thing it would be that I love you. But I know, it's never going to happen again.. But when I heard you say it before, I know you meant it, you meant every word you fed to my ears. But now where are you? But now who are you? I'm left here without you, holding back my tears but failing. I can't tell you how I feel, and you wouldn't listen if I did, so I did the next best thing, and I wrote it down in my note, I just wondered if maybe then you'd notice?

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[whispering..x.}
Date: Jul 12th, 2005 2:31:32 pm - Subscribe
Mood: ugly


-Whispers.To.Self.-

And you told me I was way prettier than her, and that even all your mates agreed. But now you make me feel ugly, how can you have changed so much from making me feel the most beautiful girl in the world to the girl that broke her mirror? It's only words that you say to me, but even the spaces inbetween make me choke. Hold Me And Throw Me, I dont care, I just want those memories. So here I still am, still waiting, still hoping, why won't I let me give up? Just tell me I'm beautiful again and mean it, just tell me you've never felt like this before and mean it again. Right now I wish I could hide away my emotions and leave them locked in my memory box. It's true, I do still cry. It's true, I do still hurt. It's true I do still miss you. Its true, I do still feel for you. Someone shut me up, someone take away all the ink from me, it's all for you. Oh God, Look At What You've Done To Me, Even The Way I Look, That's Not Good Enough Anymore. [I'm.Just.Not.Pretty..x.}

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[Maybe.Next.I\'ll.Die.For.You..x.}
Date: Jun 16th, 2005 5:54:41 pm - Subscribe
Mood: foolish


You haunt me and you don't even know you're killing me,
You're always with me and you're not even next to me,
I can hear your voice now, and you aren't even talking,
I can see you infront of me, even through those shadows.
You hurt me and you don't even talk to me,
You made me bleed and you didn't even touch me,
You rule my dreams, though you aren't there at night,
You're the king of my heart, but you don't reign it.
You eat at me from the inside and you don't even move your mouth,
You let go off me, but I hang on every word you say,
I followed you when you walked away, and I still don't know where I'm going,
So I've left a trail fo tears, so I can always get back.
The petals that fell, at our every goodbye,
The petals that fell, at out every hello,
They died, and you can't even look at me now,
I'm lost in you, but I can't find where you're gonna let me out.
I've tried loving you, and I've tried hating you,
I've tried bleeding for you, and I've tried healing for you,
I've tried crying for you, and I've tried laughing for you,
Maybe next I'll try dying for you.
You're cut into me, but you don't know you're a scar,
You're deep inside of me, even though you've gone forever,
You're in my heart and in my head,
Maybe I've always had a thing for pain.

Comments: (2)

[Get.The.Fxck.Away.Baby..x.}
Date: Jun 3rd, 2005 7:06:42 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Cold


[Give.me.a.reason.to.Believe..x.}

You bitched about me to someone I don't even fxcking know. You fxcking bitched about a good friend of mine that has been there for me all the time you've made me fxcking cry. You've bitched about many others. You fxcking scum. I fxcking hate you but I love you and you don't seem to want to be moved from my heart or my fxcking mind. I'd rather be sleeping forever than living this hell. Love isn't fxcking great, don't ever get fooled, it fxcks you up. It messes you around, just like him. He's the God Damning Walking Fxcking Heart Breaker. And I'm in two. Yeah you got me, i'm a victim, i'm glad you're happy, I'm glad you've decided to put a end to everything, but a delete button will never get rid of all the fxcking memories, and I hope they haunt you, and you re-add me and the tables have turned. But then again, hope never has worked, its a world full of high expectations and false nothings. I'm doing your head in? Trying being stuck with you stuck in my head a lot of the time, it's enough to send someone suicidal darling. You aren't God's gift, you aren't the greatest, get off your fxcking high horse, dick. You need to get over yourself. The reason I do your head in, because, instead of doing your every word like your other little FUCKING HUSSYS, i stick up for myself, and give you what you give me. You felt threatend, you knew you wouldn't always get what you want, so you ran, and it did your head in, knowing I could say no, knowing I knew how to stick up for myself. We could be friends sweetheart.. just you're to FUCKING PROUD to be reasonable and kind. You're a tosser, and for once, I agree with someone, you aren't worth half of me. I'm hurting so much and finding it hard to let go because that's how much I cared.. care.. whatever. Right now though I couldn't care if you were out shagging 837874 different girls, the fact is, You're a complete and utter Tosspot, it's just a shame I had to be hurt so badly to find out isn't it? Don't ever try to knock me down AGAIN, because I will fxcking give you all I've got, I'm not afraid. I've told you I love you, and I meant it, I've told you that I hate you, but I lied, still, I had the guts to fxcking say them. Trust me, I'm trying like HELL to get over you matey, I'd pay all my money if I knew it would help, cause I hate it just as much as you say you do, when really you just crave the attention. And I gave it you, I gave you a hell of a lot, good and bad, either way you didn't care, you were being acknowledged by me. Don't you dare ever say I meant nothing to you, and don't you dare ever say ''but it's been so long'' ever again, because I will, I repeat WILL go fxcking ape. You ever fxcking BRING ME DOWN on purpose, I will fxcking rise above it, no matter how long it takes.. ''the wound takes time to heal.'' Motherfucker.


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[So.Excited..x.}
Date: May 18th, 2005 4:41:36 am - Subscribe
Mood: bipolar


Hehe I cant fxking wait!! im drivin down to London in a few hours to Gatwick, where we r flying from and flying to FLORIDA! hehehe!!! im more excited that frasers letting me take his sweatband lol.. in maths we'd just been tlkin bout florida and id been all calm and stuff and then i got frasers sweatband and he said i cud take it to florida and i just jumped up and shouted OH WOW. and yeah it was a u had to be there moment and a you have to know me moment hehe. Anyways, im sure theres some packing I still probs need to do 8-) trust me lol. sooo yeah xxx

-btw when i pick my moods on here i dont know what the ones i pick mean.. thats the fun of it ^^- -unless its an obvious one and a seriouc blog..hmm.- -byeee-
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