pretty_lie's Blog

[Don\'t.Think.I.Don\'t.Know..x.}
Date: May 12th, 2005 3:16:24 pm - Subscribe
Mood: whimsical


Hey.. I realised that I havn't really out much about me.. soo!! =D
[†]I am Beckie.
[†]I'm sarcastic.
[†]I'm really really senstive.. really.
[†]<3Emo, Screamo, Grunge, Rock, Punk.<3
[†]Writing, writing poetry, emotions.
[†]<3Ren and stimpy.. HaPPy hAppY JoY jOy.<3
[So strangulated by my lonesome fears plead don't worry too much, It only hurts when I breathe.*}
[†]Hugging.
[†]Bollocks.. It's not better to have loved and lost.. what? Would you rather not feel anything or feel Pain?
[I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it.*}
[†] [†]I am -Insert word HERE from list;Stupid,Scared,Shy/Loud,Hypersensitive,Caring,Gullible,Loving the colour black,Not naked-
[†]Yes thats right.. Not naked.
[Hope Has Left Me Fucking Shattered*}
[†]Incense Sticks.
[†]Pillows..Duvets..My bed.
[†]You think you can beat me at solitaire? Try me, beyatch.
[†] [†]<3Walks in the rain at night.<333
[†]My Uber Sexay Sunglasses rock my world baby!
[†]Note To Self: One day, You will get into trouble for xcalling someone you shouldn't baby.. you must st0p.
[Tell me something thats sure to leave me Comments: (2)

You;re Killin; me.
Date: May 12th, 2005 3:10:47 pm - Subscribe
Mood: obsessed


Memories will stay with me forever, and the feelings of them, but looking back, I wish I could forget. How it kills me just to see your fucking name. That dream has completely messed me up, it's changed everythin I thought I felt, I'm still the same as I was before. I'm nto stressy or high strung, you don't know me, you onlyt hink that cause I stand up for myself against you. Why the hell do I still like u? I mean, wtf?! Everything thats happend and I still like you all the same, the dream I had last night made me realise that. I hate myself for letting me get in this fuckin state. Look at what you're fucking doing to me, but you don't even realise it, cause you think I'm fine.. well I was, but now I've got myself into a mess again. Fucking idiot.
I'm so stupid.
I'm so stupid.
I'm so stupid.
I'm so stupid.
I'm so stupid.
I'm so stupid.
What is wrong with me? Everything you've ever said to me that made me cry, and I'm still here, hoping you'll miss me, see that I'm nothing that you said. Come back.. You've changed so fucking much. But you havn't got a clue have you? You fucking bastard. And I do actually think that, but yet I feel so fucking strongly about you. WTF. WTF. WTF. you'd think I'd hate you and everything you've done, look at me, WAIT. YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT ME CAN YOU? This is the part where I'd say fuck you, but I can't.. why the fuck would I.. I can't bring myself to fucking do it. If you ever felt what I was feeling right now, I'd have sympathy for you, not that you'd tell me how you felt as our convos consist of up to 20 words now. But if you ever feel like this, EVER, it would kill me too. I just wanna be friends, I wanna be with you.. whats wrong with me.. why am I still here fucking WAITING for you? I tried and tried to move on, and I have in a way, I dont just like you anymore, but I still like you the most.. I don't know anymore. I just don't know. All the tears I'm choking back right now might end up drowning me, but you know what? I don't care. Maybe that would make you realise then. Or would you FUCKING LAUGH? but all the oh so sweet stuff you said.. that will stay with me.. and for that.. I thank you so much, it made my day at the time, now its just FUCKING EATING ME INSIDE. You know what, I miss you SO MUCH. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. even the times more recently when.. I dunno hwo to explain.. but yeah.. those times.. you know what I mean, not that you'll ever read this.. thank god. But if you do.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry. ''Boys are never worth your tears and the ones that are will never make you cry.'' Its a lie. ''It's better to have liked and lost than not to like a lot at all.'' FUCKING LIES. Oh yeah.. and you 3 that seem to be slowly disappearing from me, come back.. please? I beg you.. All of this..the waiting.. it's all based on hope.. and we know what hopes done to me.. ITS LEFT ME FUCKING SHATTERED.


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[I.\'.m/So/Excited..x.}
Date: May 10th, 2005 10:49:23 am - Subscribe
Mood: breathless


Hehe Im going to Florida Thursday and driving down to London on the Wednesday! Omg I can't wait, I've wanted to go to america for so long, and everyone im going with makes me laugh so much, its gonna be ace! Today was pretty crap.. it was too plain and simple.. and i had to do work Ive got about 2 months worth of art hwk to do.. I mean I love art.. but doing it for hwks when ive been busy isn't gna happen.. hehe oh well.. Gtg xxx
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[Wish.Upon.A.Star..x.}
Date: May 9th, 2005 10:45:24 am - Subscribe
Mood: businesslike


Todays been ok.. at least all of my sats are over w00p! im sooo bored.. so ima gna go =P ill edit it later lol x
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[.Fake//a.smile..x.}
Date: Apr 28th, 2005 4:31:20 pm - Subscribe
Mood: reserved


I feel so utterly shit.. I'm missing close people for different reasons, i'm sleep deprived, my throat hurts, i've got lots of homework to do for tomorrow, i've got a headache, and just a horrible feeling inside of sadness. [.I.keep//my/jealousy.close/cause.its//all.mine..x.} Oh well, I'm sorta looking forward to tomorrow.. going out, should be fun Grr. I'm so fucking fed up to be honest. I really do just want to get up and walk away from it all. I know I've got amazing friends and I am so thankful for that, but when they don't know what to say, it's the worst feeling in the world, even with them the alone feeling seeps in, but meh. [.Oh_well.Whatever//Nevermind..x.}
Best Quote today: ''Please don't fondle with my arm!''
Music: Fall out boy - Nobody puts baby in the corner.
[.All.I.know//is/that.you're/cute.when.you.Scream..x.}

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