xmidnightx
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not used this baby in ages!!
been a loooooooooooooong time hehehe
someone comment me back please
to let me know ive still got the whole blogging thing down
hehe
whoa im bored...
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xmidnightx
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whoa not used this baby in ages!! been a loooooooooooooong time hehehe someone comment me back please to let me know ive still got the whole blogging thing down hehe whoa im bored... |
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closed at work last night it went well i learned front line well kinda well bart was trying to teach me. then talked with alison and bart about life then went to barts house and cuddled and watched connan ah the simple things in life.. (hahaha and no eddy i dont mean my underwear) my life is going well kisses ariel |
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tonight was nice i think i got him to actaully get something accomplished and got 20questioned by the twin im tired, et again ariel |
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im always tired lately and my moms been up everytime ive been hoome which is annoying because im tired and she fires off the 20 question game. i went to a funny movie tonight and had shaved ice -ariel |
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...but to wake and find u there" i tend to write in gaps of time never very many in this blog. for once i can say my life is going pretty good. im in love, i think. im getting along with my parents and sister. works ok. my boyfriend just bought a house i think thats a bit exciting i cant wait to actaully spend time in a house instead of a basement apartment. plus the house is like a block away from mine. |
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i went and sat judgement at my grandparents and in front of my aunts i used to love my aunt jane i used to wish to be just like her BUT i dont see anything in her that i want in myself. the one thing that bugs me is how they view my weight and how they told me i better stop eating fast food or ill get fat...or things i shouldnt eat.. i hate that im fine in fact been loseing weight thanks very much. that and the critzing of my job im fucking 19 for heavens sakes my job is fine for now. plus at least im not unemployed like her thats always a good thing. that and critizing all my friends i got from wendys its not fair what the hell does she even know she knows none of them. im sick of being measured up and comeing up short and even my school picks arnt good enough the only good thing that this does is my parents love everything i do for awhile and stick up for me majorly. im going to a movie and dinner with my mommy and sister TA -ariel "And you can trust me not to think And not to sleep around If you dont expect too much from me You might not be let down Cause all I really want is to be with you Feeling like I matter too If I hadnt blown the whole thing years ago I might be here with you" |
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i feel dizzy and my chest hurts i need to stop this pattern i started these things need tostop happening tonight was weird and for some reason bothered me a little im so tired last night on the other hand was comfortable cept for arguments im not in i think you are going to become my new anchor i dont know how im gonna get through this summer i couldnt sleep last night so i need to now -ariel |
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i closed at work last night blah and i do it again tonight and im sick of people haveing redicouluse timeing i want to, but your timeing is lacking i want dishies cuz im in a deep music mood iwrote poetry again but im not ready to put it up yet so im putting a song that describes my mmood Snow Patrol - How To Be Dead Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth No you don't know what happened And you never will if You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall Where you've had me for hours Till I'm sure what I want But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way Please keep your hands down And stop raising your voice It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime So just say yes or no Why can't you shoulder the blame Coz both my shoulders are heavy From the weight of us both You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth You've not heard a single word I have said... Oh, my God Please take it easy it can't all be my fault I haven't made half the mistakes That you've listed so far Oh baby let me explain something It's all down to drugs At least I remember taking the and not a lot else It seems I've stepped over lines You've drawn again and again But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride |
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my hair is neon red and im glad im feeling rebeliouse and still a little hurt im trying for u really i am and it all falls apart always i miss the beach and my skin is pealing i think life should not be so hard for everyone cuz it seems like it always is mines all setteled by simples acts and i wish ud tell me nice things again, cuz sometimes u make my world happier and others u make me wanna scream -arrie "stop burning bridges ... DRIVE OFF THEM .. so i can forget about you" |
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so everyone starts putting out there summer goals well summer started for me awhile back BUT i suppose i can list mine 1. come clean about something important to the rents 2. od on cute clothes 3.find some part of me thats left that cares and get it nailed down for next semester 4. PARTY 5.fuck up my life beyound all recogination and put it back piece by piece by next semester. 6. become actaully fit and sexy. 7. become a beach bum 8. walk the board walk constantly 9. not to go insane at work 10. dont overdose on anything actaully doing pretty good with these goals ive mostly lead a wonderful dull life exploreing the beach and boardwalk, and working makeing loads of money i am not though becomeing gorgouse and fit FUCK oh well apparenly i dont need to  hmmm whens the boot camp starting LOL kisses to all i heart you -ariel |
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i cant belive your ditching me again but then again its ok i mean again its for a stupid valid reason, im just sick of it. and u called and told me how much u think about me but does that really matter? and ill call u but idont know why u want me to. im confused mike asked me over ... im not going i wont make a mistake, as much as i want to. ive already played that game. grrr |
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idont understanf why girls wanna fuck with me itsucks and i feel uncomfortable with this situatino pause to think ithink i need sleep i also know everythings fine and me manda angelia and kaylen had a lovely dinner and then me sarah manda brita went to chill at my boyfriends house night ariel |
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work was ok and ... I MISS YOU TIMES A HUNDRED manda and anna over and we chilled at my house -ariel |
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ugh it feels like i only write in here when im sad i will try harder to write when happy. i hate fighting with my mom about things i was gonna do after lunch anyways i hate crying. i hate feeling bad cuz half of the bad things she said about me might be a little true. i hate sounding like im gonna cry on the phone when its not anything about the person im on the phone with. i hate me. stargate was ok last night, a bit boreing in need of boys. danceing on stage was ok only parts got awkward. im gonna go clean some more and try not to cry ariel |
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im kinda depressed its like sometimes i dont feel like u give one little shit for me and to find out u wanted to go drinking with someone who proablly didnt wanna that much and thats why u treated me like jack shit? cuz really thats not fair. i cant help it i cant go to bars... sometimes i feel like its all for nothing and it is i think if u dont call me by monday... i think i cant go on cuz i will be noones secound best EVER and its hurts to think that we could be over before we begin but i cant go on and its not even that cuz u cant even tell me the truth if u would have told me i would have been way less of a bitch. i dont understand how you can do this to me again and again and figure ill be ok with it , im not. i dont get why its so one min u love me the next u cant stand to be near me i wish we could have something in the middle and i know that im overeacting yet again and it would be ok if u hadnt been so mean when i was with u then i wouldnt even have this feeling like you should call me. i feel like the only reason u like me is cuz i have a nice body SHIT -ariel |
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i wish it would stop being gross out last night i went bowling with trisha and friends and that was nice then i went to barts house where i compleatly lost track of time i have just discovered buffy extras LOL hhmm im tired adios |
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we need to talk and im to scared to call u, but god i need it after that weekend with u and me it felt wonderful and i have more feelins then i would like to admit for u what are we? what am i to u just another body? ill see u at work where we will pretend we dont know each other very well when we both know thats a lie |
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i wish i knew that we were together god im falling and if i cant have all of u id rather have none cuz friday night except for the being sick part was heaven oh god i cant do this -ariel p.s. i know i dont have a reason to worry i know u told me u wanted to see me again soon. |
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so still really sad BUT... dealing i keep haveing this pesky memorys about things when it was ok or well before i knew it wasnt ok and it sucks but went bowling with jenny today and caribou MAJOR FUN. got hit on .. weird .. liked it wanted to BUT i know i shouldnt cuz still breakable and i keep haveing flashback memorys but i think life will be ok |
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Mood: foxy ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: Panic! At The Disco-lyeing is the most fun a girl can have without takeing her clothes off |
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so of course the fortune cookie was right the guy i was kinda with cheated on me and im pretty sure it was the day after we did things which is gross and he took alot of my first and i heard from someone else oh yeah and he still hasnt fucking fessed up to my face at that im haveing a fucking beautful fucking day -arrie |