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punk_vik05's
Aeonity Blog view recent entries / profile / friends / archive / rss / Aeonity Blog |
| boo! |
Feb 6th, 2005 9:26:02 pm - Subscribe |
| damn lol | |
| mood: aggressive |
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| smiles |
Feb 6th, 2005 9:24:49 pm - Subscribe |
Ha! I think I might have found out how to use the smiles! If it doesnt work them Im going to look like a complete fool  lol:Minnie-Mouse: :Ed: :Snoopy: :Tommy: |
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| mood: adventurous |
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| Sunday...blah..:( |
Feb 6th, 2005 5:27:35 pm - Subscribe |
| Ok, im quite pissed of now cos i spent about 15mins doing this and Ive had to start all over again cos i forgot to put the subject and it all got deleted..grr.. Hmmm...since i last logged on here darryl has got himself a new boyfriend, and he keeps making hints at what him and ryan (his bf) have done and I really dont want to know, because 1. Even though im not homophobic, i would prefer it if gay people kept their private life to themselves (eg. kissing infront of me, i dont even like it when straight people do it, let alone gay people) and 2. because I was his girlfriend for more than a year and I still have feelings for him that i really shouldnt still have. Ive asked darryl to just not tell me anything about him and his bf, maybe just for my own sanity. Do you think thats being selfish? Its like, I was doing really good at getting those feelings I have towards him away but then he gets a boyfriend and suddenly they all come back. He does confuse me emotionally though. I really am not trying to put all the blame for my feelings on him, but wht kind of a gay boy would sleep with a girl 3 times since coming out as gay? I mean maybe this is just my opinion but doesnt that mean that the most he is is bisexual? He keeps making excuses for them 3 times, saying he was only trying it out again to see if he still liked it or that he only done it to make things ok. There is more to it than this, but I think you get the picture of it all. *Sighs* Maybe im just hoping he isnt gay eh?  Well anyway, moving on from this. Ive been looking for jobs and getting interviews but then not showing up. I dont know why. Ive promised myself that anymore interviews I get i will NOT see Darryl before. I dont know if he does this on purpose but he always argues with me before my interview, then i get stressed and I feel like crap and all I want to do is go home. I havent turned up for 4 interviews because of this. Just im not so sure Im gonna get anymore interviews now. I should have gone while I had the chance.... |
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| mood: angsty |
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| grr...i HATE interviews |
Jan 25th, 2005 3:25:36 pm - Subscribe |
| Hmph...I want all the way to bloody Hackney to be told that I was 'late' for my assesment, when I wasnt there for an assessment i was there for an interview. Ah well, Ive been booked in again for next tuesday. I know if I tell people this they will be so shocked or repulsed by this but ive been reading into satanism, like the church of satanism, not devil worshipping. The thing is is that some of their ideas sound quite good, but I would never become one. There is alot of occult stuff I think that they all keep hidden, which makes me wary because it sounds quite good but then again it could just be like that to lure people in. Anyway, im just confused as to why they call it the church of satan if they dont actually worship HIM, and if they use him as a kind of figure to represent nature and the reality of it all - then why satan, why not some other biblical character. My mate jenna hasnt been on msn in ages! Im starting to get paranoid cos i think either shes blocked me or just doesnt bother to come on. Meh..I miss her!! And my other friend lauren is getting very weird with me, ever since ive told her shes changed in a bad way she wants me to hang around with her fridays after she finishes sixth form and then go round her house next week. its all crap cos she'll forget |
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| mood: bewildered Music Listening to:: the music of tapping keyboards |
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| punk rock!! |
Jan 22nd, 2005 7:23:37 pm - Subscribe |
| Today's been alright so far, Darryl's voice aint as annoying today although I does annoy me when he says 'Whatever!' Hmm..we went to Lakeside and was just searching round for a scarf and jeans for Darryl, which pissed me off cos we went into nearly every single mens shop and he didnt see anything...then he finally got jeans in TopMan  why he couldnt get them first I dont know. Anyway, there were these boys infront of us and Darryl said something really gay and they turned round and between them were just laughing. It felt really horrible to see him being laughed at. I mean..I get dirty looks and things cos I dress weirdly and I can handle that, but when its my friends I just can't.I found a 3 disc punk rock CD for £5.99...oh my god...I nearly had an orgasm when I found it. I can annoy my nan with that tonight Tonight Darryl is going round his mums and Ive decided Im not going..I really think its best that I stay out of her way from now on cos I just get this nasty feeling she dont like me ever since me and Darryl split up and he came out as gay. Comments I make about Darryl being gay that he finds funny she looks like she's disgusted by them. Funny its only me who she doesnt like making jokes about Darryl being gay. Ah well...shit happens |
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| mood: achy Music Listening to:: Britney...Its not me whos playing it..I swear |
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