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Friday - Most music. Is shit.
Date: Mar 30th, 2007 5:21:19 am - Subscribe
Mood: Drone
Load on my mind: Asleep...

My panpipes arrived yesterday.
Good fun.

Performed the other night. more fun.
My room is a mess and i want to die, good fun.
Not for some relationship, not because of anything but life its self.
What else is there?
Taste life, the same thing it was for everyone else. Fame is out, drugs are out, clothes are out, job are out, politics are out.
It's all been done and i can't help but think (On this melodramatic night) why bother?
There is sex, love, indulgence, fun.
Whatever... don't get me started on the bad things.
I want to be smashed. I want to be forgetful, I want to be selfish. I want to be abusive, I want to be awful. I want to be seen as how i feel right now.
I want everything, I want to fuck everyone in the world, I want to die trying.
I want a new keyboard that isn't sticky thanks to lem-sip i dropped on it weeks ago.
I want to want to want all the the things i want.
Let's start small though, won't we?
I want a cigarette.

I don't want to be stuck in the temporary relapse of something with a light getting closer.
I want someone to hold me like a man holds his woman.
I want to be nurtured.
I want to hold my woman.
I want to be possessive.
I want to be submissive.
I want to fuck.
I want to fuck all night.

I want to be vulgar.

I want to be as human as i can be.
I want to be the perfect citizen.
I want to be paid nothing and be a drone.
I want to be a statistic.
I want to go under the radar.

I want to be an extrovert in life outside of a computer.
I want everyone to feel my hate like a guillotine.
I want everyone to feel my love like a warm blanket, in the dark, on a cold winters night.

In Aeternum,
Comments: (1)

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anonymous - March 31st, 2007
I know this feeling. I've felt it before. Food tastes like ash in your mouth.Life feels like wind through your bones. The air isn't worth breathing, and the point goes AWOL.

All you can do is keep looking at times like this for something, keep hoping that the next kicks are coming around the corner for you. they always come. Life is in a constant state of change.

And always remember, that just because everything has been done before doesn't mean you've done everything. All there is in life for us is what we experience first hand. What we see and taste and touch for ourselves. The stinks, the flowers, the works. Its all there for us. Nothing can replace the feeling of doing it yourself.

Love Sis xx


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