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Monday - I Gotta Break The Cycle. (Farewell)
Date: May 14th, 2007 2:51:58 am - Subscribe
Mood: Scared.
Load on my mind: Throwing the monkey off my back

I gotta get out, i gotta get out.
I gotta get out, i gotta get out.

I can't do it. i can't do it.

Fuck.
Fuck this stupid emo shit!
...
This isn't me. This is the fucking ghost of me right now.
I'm not this, i am better then this, i'm better then her.
I'm better then these stupid games.
This 'oh i'm sad', with you saying 'i'm so happy and moving on'
i'm sick of it becoming vice versa.
You fuck with my head. Then you feel better.
No,
Cut communication.
End Conversation.
Don't initiate.

You can't stop me from having my sis there for me.
You can't stop me from having friends.

Fuck knows you can't tell me who i can and can't be friends with.
I know you say 'But i know i can't stop you and i wouldn't want you to not have those friends'
Well i know you're full of it, trying to sound nice.
Please just be completely honest.
But don't expect me to cop it and not attack back.
I won't compromise my life, my friends and my experiences just to suit you.
I can't wait for you.
I won't let myself.
I gotta break this cycle.
Over, and over, and over again.

I have to hang up the phone, i have to stop typing back.
You'll learn i know you can and will.
Call it hard love.
But you have to learn, so do i.
I've got to take the lead, like i should have done at the start.

Thats why i've said.
No. You can keep apologising and expect me to take it in my stride.
End communication.
I need my time. I'll tell YOU when we can talk again.

Leave me alone.
Because all i'll do is snap at you.
Hate me. whatever, just learn.
Because i can't be a teacher, you have to be the student and the teacher.

Take care,
I love you.

In Aeternum,
Pura
Comments: (1)


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Comments:
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tron - May 14th, 2007
As always brother, we are born alone and die alone so our duty is to do the best by ourselves without hurting too many people around us. Stay strong, keep your eyes peeled for the next fatality.


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