Saturday - 2nd post. Cravings setting in. All in good time.
Date: Jun 1st, 2007 8:37:35 pm - Subscribe
Load on my mind: Minor scale in the key of B
Where is it?
I can’t find it anywhere.
Where’s the strength I had to say ‘fuck you’ to the person I love.
Gone. For the moment.
I want it back now.
I need it now.
“Hold me. Wrap me up.”
What have I become in this sick display of my arrogance.
Where am I?
What do I have left but a dirty crucible to sit inside of?
I need nothing but everything.
I’m not going well.
I’m not too happy, to say the least.
What did I get up to?
Oh not much, some cleaning.
Try anything to keep my mind off anything.
I kissed a girl, and this is how I am to be counter-attacked?
I’m breaking up, I’m in some kind of tunnelled distortion of white noise and static snow.
The most beautiful girl, the most unintentional devotion.
The emotions that crawl up my spine and pull my hair back so that I scream to a sky of you.
No. This is just like quitting caffeine, just like quitting smoking.
This is a craving, right?
It’ll be gone in a few seconds or minutes?
It’ll be ok.
Just keep telling yourself that.
It’s a craving; she’s no different to anyone else.
It’s got to be out there.
Something has to change.
Something has to happen soon.
Something to make me love again.
To see the beauty.
Where is the fucking beauty?
If children can see it, the world can’t be all that ugly.
I need new beauty.
There is nothing in this shallow grave of a town.
“Shame on us,
For all that we are,
God have mercy on our dirty little hearts”
God I’m greedy.
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