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Saturday - Careful Not To Die.
Date: Jun 1st, 2007 6:03:06 pm - Subscribe
Mood: unsatisfied
Load on my mind: Breathe Me (Mylo Remix) - Sia

Everything leads to this.
I’m becoming more aware of my instability.
Something so painful. To see the girl with so many smiles fade into tears.
To see her drift to the abstract. Is there a return?
Where can she find the peace she deserves?

“Why does my heart feel so bad?
Why does my soul feel so bad?

These open doors”

So I’m sitting here, thinking of the tears filled with mascara that ran down her face for the world to see. Thinking of all the men that have wronged her.
Knowing that I have been one.
Knowing there’s a possibility I can never make it up to her.
But I’m having trouble having my hands tied while I see another man do this again.
Don’t deny me my right to see what I can see.
Because I can see through it, you are innocent, which scares me and makes me feel worse.
She won’t see the truth. Not for now, I’m sure of that.
So today. I’m a new breed of the martyr-like race I’m in. I see others pain, but I can’t take it, just point it out. In doing so, I’m the bad guy and in that way I’m their martyr. Pre-emptive martyr.

“I'd just be curious to know if you can see yourself as clear
As someone who has had you on his mind.”
- Bob Dylan

This is yours truly saying, I have my ring back, but I don’t want it. Eventually it will back on that finger, when it all calms down.
Together or apart, we’ll always have something.
I could never forget the tragedy that was us.

I pray to Eris that you find what you need before this swallows you.
Because I still love you.

In Aeternum,

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