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Sunday - I'm not in love with anyone else.
Date: Jul 15th, 2007 1:23:32 am - Subscribe
Mood: Burned Out
Load on my mind: "if it be your will" - Leonard Cohen

Help me.
I’m dead.
I’m feeling empty and nothing will fill me.
No amount of money, no amount of music.
I’m at a loss, and I’m turning to writing.
I’m in hell.

How do you get by?
I fucking hate that you can do this to me.
Do I leave and wait for you?
Or am I weak. Use time as my ally, wait for your return.
I can’t.
I keep falling for people, but I’m not in love with anyone.
Am I heart broken?
Am I stupid?
What is wrong with me?
Girls everywhere, all I need to do is ask, but of everyone that wants me I want none of them.
I can’t fall for anyone. It’s been months.
But nothing has changed, and it could have, I keep screaming and yelling about how much has changed, but my mind keeps going back to you.
“She’s got diamonds on the inside”
Why do I let you affect me?
Why do I let myself appear weak, I don’t want to know you.
You just want to get out and have fun, you said we would have been together had it not been for me, but someone had to screw up.

It wasn’t meant to be,
Then why am I so convinced it was?
Why am I convinced that I’ve changed fate?
I hate love,
Chemical reactions.
Be fooled,
But no one fools me.
Fool me,
Show me I can love again,
Because I sure as hell can’t feel it.

I hope not, I hope I can be repaired,
I won’t let myself live through this life if I can’t be repaired,
I won’t torture myself if I can’t be fixed.
I’d rather be dead then unable to feel.

In Aeternum,
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