Thursday - Forgetting the names of the days,
Date: Apr 12th, 2007 1:17:14 am - Subscribe
Load on my mind: Dizzy.
Staring bright eyed at the haze.
my life, keeps slipping,
In and out of chaos,
Out and into harmony.
Maybe its the fun, maybe things are catching up with me.
Maybe its hormones and social life.
Maybe its being oversexed.
Maybe its my smooth, constantly stroked ego.
Maybe its this shell, this ego, that keeps me dizzy.
Who am I?
Who is this ego, the one i present out of the internet?
He is happy, he is content.
The thing is, when i write here, its something else in me.
Is this ego taking over, is it forcing me out?
Or this confidence, is it actually for real?
I don't know where to go, sometimes.
The stupid small things.
My happiness is like a harlequin shield,
Enormous plates, with gaps.
Everytime something bad happens, the smaller the more effective.
I curl up and hide, i conspire, i scheme, i make up contradictions and then i hate.
Then i want it to go.
Just leave me. Let me rot.
See, just melodramatic crap.
Sis. You, do not know how you have helped to the extent you have.
In such small pieces of writing, in so little words.
You make this go away.
and once again, i'll quote you.
Because, its important, this post has the answer to the question i've asked the whole way through.
"There comes a point when you are free from all that chains you except your own depression..."
Just to be replaced by another...
Is this 'ego' breaking the chains or just tightening their hold on me?
Because, honestly, I don't know.
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