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[ Subject | my day ]
[ Date | Sep 23rd, 2004 9:03:28 pm - Subscribe ]
[ Mood | happy ]
Today was our Womens Festival for Lyrics. We left Alameda at about 8:00 am and went to Lakewood. I was in Amandas van with Mindy, Rachel, and Jenee. We were listening to Papa Roach and like, I was sitting in the back and I was sad because thing's aren't going so well right now. So Jenee crawled from the front seat to the back where I was and started singing. lol It was great. When we got to Lakewood, we drove by the choirs that were standing there and we were blasting Manson. lol We got some of the greatest looks. lol So we go to park then we walk through the parking lot to the school. We were shown to our little (and I mean LITTLE lol) room and put our stuff down. We then went into the auditorium and while I sat there, I saw this chick, Jessica, that has been talking mad shit about one of my best friends, Lauren, and being a total narc. Anyways, when I saw Jessica I just started at her with the death look and was talking about her to my friends and pointing and shat. She looked at me with that "Oh shat, I'm in trouble" look. lol It was great. After a bit we started singing and everyone sounded really good. When we had to move to sit in our school rows, I walked by Jessica and I was talking to my friends. I looked at her and was like "Yeah, this bitch Jessica has been talking shat about one of my best friends and you know I don't take shat like that well." and gave her the death look again. After a bit and after watching a couple choirs sing, it was our turn. We didn't suck TOO much, but we weren't as great as we could have been. After that was lunch so Amanda, Mindy, Rachel and I went to Good Times. We got free food because Mindy works there. We drove back to the school and decided to walk around and try to find a bathroom. Yeah, we got lost. lol After lunch we watched a few more choirs then we went back to Alameda and just hung out. Yeah, that was my day. lol Gots to go. Cya!

Live on,
Love on,
Rock on.
~*~Caitlin~*~
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[ Subject | Nothing\'s going right. ]
[ Date | Sep 21st, 2004 10:50:05 pm - Subscribe ]
[ Mood | emotional ]
Nothing is going right for me at all. We are still broke as hell. We have no food. I still have to get my dress altered and get my jewlery for Lyrics. I hate asking my mom for the money for this stuff but I have no way of paying for it. I'm still trying to get a job but no one will hire me.

As much as I hate saying this, I'm depressed about not having a boyfriend. I know it's really stupid but yeah.

I want a guy that will hold me when I'm crying, upset, cold of just for the hell of it. I want a guy that is funny and loves making me laugh. I want a guy that has the same interests as me. I want a guy that will love me for me and not care that I'm not a size 0. I want a guy that won't pressure me into having sex. I want a guy that will lay in bed with me and hold me. But sadly, I will never find that guy.

Well, I got's to go. Cya!

Live on,
Love on,
Rock on.
~*~Caitlin~*~
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[ Subject | Fuck! ]
[ Date | Sep 15th, 2004 8:54:06 pm - Subscribe ]
[ Mood | depressed ]
Well, nothing's going right. Everything is going to hell. My mom is really fucked up, and she hasn't worked in like 2 1/2 weeks. We're broke and my brother's not helping out any. I'm trying to get a job to help out but no one will hire me. I'm failing like 3 classes already and I hate myself for it.

And the sad part is, when we were playing quarters today, everytime I got hit and everytime the skin was broken and I started bleeding, it felt so good. Granted it hurt, but it felt good in a way. Sorta like the whole cutting thing.
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[ Subject | This sucks! ]
[ Date | Sep 12th, 2004 3:40:56 pm - Subscribe ]
[ Mood | pissed as hell! ]
It really sucks being 15. No one will hire me and I can't drive.

I really want to go to the Nintendo Fusion, but I only have $10. The tickets alone are $15.75. I also wanted to go to the Mest show. Even if I do get the money, I have no ride there or back to either show. Aly and I were going to go, but she has no money either so yeah. I'm screwed! I fucking hate this!

Fuck love! Fuck hope! Fuck life! Fuck this world! Fuck your rules! Fuck conformity! Fuck me! Fuck you! Fuck everything that I do and say! Fuck it all! None of this is worth it!

~*~Caitlin~*~
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[ Subject | I\'m Happy. ]
[ Date | Sep 5th, 2004 6:01:06 pm - Subscribe ]
[ Mood | happy ]
About a month or so ago, I thought I was completely over Joe, but I find myself thinking about him everyday. Now, I'm sure those of you that are reading this are probably thinking I'm insane for still liking him, but oh well. Anyways, last nite I text messaged him to see how he was because I haven't talked to him in awhile. I didn't hear from him last nite but he texted me back today. It made me feel special. lol. I told him I miss talking to him everyday and I miss hanging out with him and he said he misses me too. Aww, lol. But yeah, I asked him if he wasn't busy if he wants to come down and see our first choir concert on Oct. 6th. So yeah, he's going to try and come. I can't wait. I really hope he does, but if he doesn't then I totally understand. yeah, I'll shut up now.

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