Pure Writer's Blog

Unsure
Date: Feb 1st, 2005 3:40:21 pm - Subscribe
Mood: dangerous
Currently Listening To: Everywhere by Michelle Branch

I'm really unsure, about a lot of things at the moment. Let's see.... I have an appointment with my Therapist Tomorrow, at 3:15, right after school. I have at least 5 assignments due in by Friday, and I've done none....
I'm upset that Nelson isn't in school... he didn't come yesterday.. and i feel like an asshole for hurting him so much, all though if i figure right, he's acting like he doesn't care, but i know he's hurting...
so not everything is all right, At the moment i feel like a psycho bitch.. Neha isn't here to help me and i currently have a thumb tack in my pocket.... i think i'll go throw it away... but Yes....
*In Other News*
Lucas has decided that He doesn't want to do the news paper anymore, so it's just Zaidee and Me. Were gonna get some other girls to work on it. maybe Nashley and Xlyia.
not sure yet..... it'll still be called Erobrythm., it'll just be run by all girls.... lol
*In Relationships*
My Ex-Boyfriend of 2 months is flirting with me again... He's so damn confusing, considering he was the one who broke up with me, and decided that we should see new people....so i currently have no boyfriend and I'm stuck with and Ex who won't leave me alone.. i told him to forget it anywayz, although I still like him... -shifty-eyes- don't tell anyone... or else.. lol but yea, that;s the latest on my life,
gotta go....
see ya soon,
Tina
Comments: (1)

Reflections
Date: Jan 31st, 2005 5:44:59 pm - Subscribe
Mood: gothic
Currently Listening To: Where will You Go? by Evanescence

Look in the mirror, and write down what you think.
------------------------------------------------
When I look into the mirror, I see a girl with a lot of pain and misery... i see a girl who is suffering on the inside, filled with guilt, pain, and sorrow...
I see a girl, who has had a terrible expirence but can not remember it... I see a girl with an intelligent mind, but is afraid to use it, for fear that she will be rejected... i see a girl who only tries hard enough to get by, not being all she can be...
i see a girl, who has wisdom beyond her own years.. i see a girl who thinks no cares for her, even though, millions love her...
i see a girl who hates what she's become and wishes she could change... i see a girl who is full of life, yet doesn't know it... i see a girl who is very pretty, but has been put down so much, that she thinks she's no good, not worth anything.... i see a girl who has a future, who will do great things.... i see a girl, who is me.

Comments: (2)

buttonhead and a sleepover
Date: Jan 29th, 2005 1:58:49 pm - Subscribe
Mood: carefree
Currently Listening To: All the things She said by TaTu

yup. my play was a sucsess.... um it was from 7-9, it was really good, we helped a lot of people.... during my part i tripped... not funny.... but most of my friends came.. Zaidee, Vera, Neha, Ashley, and Wole.. my teacher got stuck at school.. i feel so BAD for him... i hope he is ok.... in other news, after the play... Melissa came over, and she has given me the name "Buttonhead" so now all my friends call me that... not kool as well, but i guess I'll have to get used to it.... ha-ha-ha... look, I'm laughing!
so anyhow, I'm having a sleep over at Zaidee's House, sounds interesting... Vera is going too! so were gonna stay up all night and have fun! yay! so yea, um.... nelson called me yesterday, he sounds different.... like he's upset or somethin'. I suppose he should be, cuz ya know i broke up with him and all... i feel like an asshole.... but, it's not my fault..... it's his fault.... for being too clingy and going WAY too fast!!! so yea, I'm done venting for the moment, i gotta go clean my stupid room....
bye,
Tina
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i still feel like a B****H
Date: Jan 28th, 2005 8:33:16 pm - Subscribe
Mood: bitter
Currently Listening To: "My Last Breath" by Evanescence

mad, i'm feeling so low right now.....
I broke up with nelson yesterday... he's was crying on the phone.... asking my why, so i told him why....then to make me feel even worse he started listing the things that he likes about me, like how cute i look when i scrunch up my nose, or how when i smile he laughs, and he just went on and on.. so i fee like a total ass right now.... he said "I Love You" to me for the last time... so now i feel really bad....
and I've beaten myself up for it, so my arm will hurt for a while....
In Other news....
I have a play coming up tonite, and half of my class is coming.... all the way to Taunton, MA.... yup, Nelson was supposed to come, but um.. I'm not sure He will.... so yea, I've got to go finish getting Ready.....
Bye-Bye
Comments: (2)

Coversations
Date: Jan 27th, 2005 12:45:31 pm - Subscribe
Mood: melodramatic
Currently Listening To: Wide Open by Erin O'donnell

this is a clip of a conversation between me and my other best friend, Zaidee. she's like a counsiler..... the guy mentioned (david) is Zaidee's Ex. none of my friends like him... so they support me... just read:
"ThisQueenWriter: i just need to vent.... if i give u a
link can u read it? click to read (link to my last post yesterday)
ZphyrMouse: yeah, sure
ZphyrMouse: well then.
ThisQueenWriter: yea
ZphyrMouse: Can I give my opinion?
ThisQueenWriter: yes
ZphyrMouse: Okay. No, you do not show Nelson much
affection at school at all. I can see why though, and
he should quit whining about ti, it's his own fault
that you don't. You told him you need space. He is
MUCH to clingy, so that if you DID show him affection
at school, he would never leave you alone, which
happened in the very beginning. I think he needs to
get his priorities staright, maybe he's not ready for
a relationship. Hey, he blew it with me, os you'd
think he'd get the idea that he needs to take it easy.
It is his problem that you are uncomfortable about
this, not your fault. He needs to talk it out with you
like a man, or deal, you know?
ZphyrMouse: Plus, Vera and I have known you longer, we
know a lot more about you than he does, and we are not
in that kind of realationship with you. We are
freinds, close friends, showing affection is a part of
our friendship. In a relationship, sometimes you don't
want, or need to show affection in public.
ThisQueenWriter: yup
ThisQueenWriter: i agree
ZphyrMouse: save that. it might come in handy later.
ThisQueenWriter: i will
ThisQueenWriter: but he was all like "oh, if you don't
show my affection, then it's over" or " i don't get
you, your so confusing" or " why do you like to watch
me suffer?" or " do u enjoy hurting me?"
ThisQueenWriter: he's bugging me
ThisQueenWriter: and i don't want to blow up on him in
his face and yell at him
ZphyrMouse: OMG, he shouldn't be saying things like
that to you.
ZphyrMouse: If he makes you feel that way, something
is wrong.
ZphyrMouse: Like, even DAVID said, there is something
wrong with what he tells you. He doesn't always treat
you the most respectfully when it comes to talkign
things out.
ThisQueenWriter: i know
ThisQueenWriter: but on the other hand, he can be
really charming but those most often come up in our
conversations
ZphyrMouse: mm hhm. but think, is him sometimes being
charming worth all the crap he gives you?
ThisQueenWriter: no
ThisQueenWriter: i guess not
ZphyrMouse: well, think about what you want too. I
know he is cute, and charming, and can be sweet. But
when he gives you this extra trouble when you have a
lot on your plate already, just think, there are
plenty of other fish in th sea.
ThisQueenWriter: true, but i don't want to hurt him ,
he could become suicidal
ZphyrMouse: Well, you need to tell someone then. If
you care, you tell. He is insecure, we know that, but
he puts himslef in these positions. You need to stop
thinking about things around him. What do you want?
Vera and I don't want to see you hurting, you know we
want what's best for you. It's your choice, just don't
make sacrifices.
ThisQueenWriter: i know...
ZphyrMouse: you keep saying you know, so really think
about it.
ThisQueenWriter: i just don't think i should be in a
relationship right now, i mean there's so much here
already... school. home, therapy,
ZphyrMouse: Exactly. Think of what would be best.
There you go.
ThisQueenWriter: you such a good counsiler! lol
ZphyrMouse: lol.
ZphyrMouse: thanky
ThisQueenWriter: welcome
ZphyrMouse: *huggles*
ThisQueenWriter: *huggles* *lubbers*
ThisQueenWriter: but i don't know if i should tell
him... today or tommorrow
ThisQueenWriter: i have to call him tonite at 9
ZphyrMouse: You know me and Vera love you lot's. Good
luck with that, watcha gonna do?
ThisQueenWriter: i dont know, i'll think of something
ThisQueenWriter: but see, he always pulls me int these
traps....
ZphyrMouse: describe
ZphyrMouse: let it all out.
ThisQueenWriter: like, we'll be talking and then he'll
be like " we'll be together forever" or "so what color
will your weding dress be?" or like " do you love me?"
or my favorite... " tell me how you feel, your so
confusing, i try my hardest to get you to open the
door and you shut it in my face.... why? don't you see
that hurts? why do you have to hurt me tina, why?"
ZphyrMouse: *maniacally laughs* yeah, that last one is
a killer.
ThisQueenWriter: yea
ZphyrMouse: Jeez...
ThisQueenWriter: yea... so i'm stuck...literally
ZphyrMouse: hmmm...
ZphyrMouse: I have a plan."



Comments: (2)