so this week has been better. october started off fine. i've been so busy this week but i've been having fun..doing stuff...yah..all that. it's so late, so i'm gonna have to be short.

hmm..now it's hard to think of what's been happening. basically i've been hanging out with tricia, a girl down the hall, all week. ever since that oh soo unforgettable trip to applebee's..i like her alot though. she's so funny and crazy..and i think those are the kinds of friends i seem to make. cause i like having fun and goofing off and that's what we do.

oh yah, so one sat. night...was it last week? i dunno. i went to the movies with a group of girls..tricia was there and so was the "accountability partner" of mine, andrea. so i've been talking to her more too though we haven't "met" after that first time and i know it's cause cameron told her to take it slow with me..hmm...

but yah, today tricia and i went to the boy's soccer game(yes i went to a sports game) and then we ate in the cafeteria...then we took our hw outside and layed on a blanket and worked on it...then later on we took a trip to kroger so she could get some cereal...and then later on we went to hall devos and sat together. so it's been a crazy day, been around her alot..but it's soo much fun. and she's getting me to do alot of things i wouldn't normally do..or something like that.

on the other hand, tomorrow is when i meet with the leaders of the small group, jeannette and cameron so they can "talk" to me about some of the concerns of being in a small group..some of the things i've gone through...the past small group i was in and why that didn't work out..and who knows what else..so i'm really nervous about that, i hope i can talk to them cause it'd be good to talk to someone...but then, it's also fun just to laugh with tricia and have fun..and not be serious..but i know i need to balance that...it's just that when i agreed to meet with them...i dunno. i thought i could do it, but now i'm really not sure. i really don't know...hopefully i can talk and be honest with them..cause if not them..then who? last week was horrible and i didn't call anyone..and when i did talk to michelle on the phone and jennifer..i told them that things were going ok...that made me feel worse, lying to them..but i just realized that trying to talk to the ppl i actually know is still hard for me...will it ever be easy????

alright, well i can't focus at all...i am so tired, i've been staying up past two like every night and getting some naps in during the day..but i didn't nap at all today..and i still have hw left, but i can't even focus on that anymore..all i can think about it is tomorrow....at 9...but i probably won't be able to focus on my hw after that either...ahh...i can't wait for the w/e to get some sleep!