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rain_drop how many times have i hated who i was~seventh day slumber - Subscribe
there's so much i need to write about..on here...in my journal...somewhere. anywhere....

when will i have the time...when will i have the time and feel like it at the same time?

like for example, these dreams i've been actually remembering...their coming back. the ones that haunt me. about dying...death. last week i killed myself...and last night i killed somebody else...and it felt so good...maybe i've been watching too much diagnosis murder lately..or maybe not, i really don't think that's it. i just think they've come back to haunt me..not that i'm scared or anything by them...i just know in a way it's not right is it? am i really supposed to dream about this and imagine it???

i think i've been spending too much time by myself lately and i've been letting my thoughts and imagaination go..i know it's not good for me...it may be for anne of green gables...but not for me...i wish it was not like this....not like this at all. i wish i was anne right now and could escape to my forest with my books and adventurous spirit..and maybe even a bosom friend as well...a real kindred spirit right by my side...
2 Comments
Mood: annoyed

rain_drop i'm barely hanging on...with all these empty feelings...i'm hurting in soo many ways~seventh day slumber Apr 13th, 2007 5:37:00 am - Subscribe
i hate this one...it was probably just something i scribbled down real fast. however i turned it into my background image....because i had a pix i took at michelle's house of her window and i thought it was cool...but i have another poem about rain_drops and tears..and windows...maybe i'll type that one up as well..someday. i plan to type and print all my poems out one day and put em in a book or something. i have so many of em..in so many different places...i'm not scared of em anymore..or ashamed. because they are a part of who i was...and am...and i've been writing poems for so many years throughout high school and now into college...but this one's only a year old...i wrote it April 13, 2006 wink.gif

Drops of Defeat

as the raindrops fall
outside my window
in step with the drops
falling down my face
wind whistling through the trees
thoughts flowing over me
memories and leaves intertwining
rain pelting the grass
which bows down in defeat
as the doubt and the fear
pushes me further down
wishing of what could have been
is like wishing for the sun
to shine through the thunderstorm
staring out the window
and watching the storms
of life pass through
only one way it seems
to make it through
just wait through the storm
the clouds will soon clear
and through prayer and hope
i will survive...
through the defeat...
just make it through the night
0 Comments
Mood: ...you already know...

rain_drop ...these ashes of pain will fade...~seventh day slumber Apr 15th, 2007 3:08:21 am - Subscribe
i really hate people somedays...
...today is one of those days...

but my roommate's been nice to me..when she's around.

oh well. i'll get over it i guess....
...i always do.


by the way...my last post was my 200th post on here..and i missed it. sad.gif
i've been around here way too long.
0 Comments
Mood: hurting