so i wrote the last entry..and that was last sat...that night tricia comes down to our room, actually she came down at 2 in the morning..she knew i was still awake cause she saw me online on AIM and well, then she got both adrian and i laughing and laughing...and she decided she'd have a sleepover..adrian and i both in our bunks and her on the floor...she made the night quite fun and interesting and we didn't go to bed until 4 in the morning. we had to get up at 9 am for church and tricia drove that sunday..after church we picked up two $5 pizza's from little caesars and went to the park to eat it..since the weather was beatiful..it was fun..except...well, i have to say this cause it bugged me. i hate eating out and stuff....i have my reasons..and i don't like the cafeteria food here so apparently these ppl don't see me eat all that much...but i love pizza and i was like on my fourth piece maybe when tricia just looked at me and said "i've never seen you eat this much before" and then tiffany, the other girl who came with adrian and i said "i was just abou to say the same thing"...idk why it bugged me that much..but this is further reason why i don't like to eat in front of ppl..either they make comments about how i'm too picky or i don't eat enough...or they talk about how much i'm eating...well, they were eating like the same amount..the pieces were small and it's not often you get good food like that..well, moving on...

that night since tricia's roomie was still gone, i slept over in tricia's room. we were both exhausted and i put in anne of green gables and i think tricia fell asleep around midnight..and i didn't fall asleep until awhile after that...i didn't sleep all that well that night...but in the morning we went to brunch...it was probably the best weekend i've had since i got here...which was good..really good.

tuesday i was at the library working and my uncle and 3 cousins stopped in to say hey..it was kinda funny since they live 45 min. away from back home...but they were passing through cause my older cousin who's a senior this year was going to look at a certain college and my skool was on the way..so that was kinda fun. it was too bad i was working or i would've shown her my dorm room...and all that fun stuff.

so the rest of the week i stayed up really late and took naps in the day..it was pretty bad..like wednesday night i napped for 5 hrs. during the day...and then i stayed up til 4 in the morning....and had to get upat 7:30...this was the pattern pretty much for the whole week..

friday night was the harvest party...i didn't really know about it til earlier in the week..adrian and another girl in the hall got together and made fairy costumes for it...so the harvest party was in the whole dorm on every hall and they were running the game for the little kids and handing out candy..so something i would have love to have done...the only problem was every since i was old enough to run the harvest party at our church except for the years when our church didn't have one..but last year was the first year in a couple years that they had the harvest party and it was soo much fun. this year, at college, with a harvest party here...i went down there, saw the little kids, it brought back all the memories of all the kids i love and miss...all the kids i missed seeing dress up for the harvest party back home..and well, it was more than i could handle...so far babysitting for kids here has gone ok...but this time i just couldn’t look at those little kids without tearing up...so i went back to my room and laid on my bed listening to musik for like an hr. i would've cried..it would've helped me just get over it...cept i couldn't..cause adrian kept coming in and out of the room to get stuff..and i'm weird about being around ppl and crying. i should've locked myself in the bathroom again..that would've worked...but i didn't even think about that til later...so i was really missing not being able to see the kids at my church and go to that harvest party...anyways it made me think of this quote...

"turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, 'all right, it's just fear, I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.'" - tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom

if only i could've done that..i would have felt alot better the rest of the night. i tried going to bed around 1, the earliest that week, but didn't fall asleep til after 2...but i got to sleep in til 11..that's when tricia woke me up by knocking on my door and then trying to open it..but we locked our door..hehe..anyways we were going to brunch at 11:30..but she wanted to go earlier...so we went to brunch and then back to her room to watch full house until she had to go to work...then i actually worked on some hw for awhile...tonight after a walmart trip with tricia..then andrea and i watched anne of green gables cause she loves that movie too...so it was good to spend some time with her...but i don't know bout the whole accountability partners cause we haven't met since that one time to "talk" but i guess it's good to spend some time with her first...and get comfortable with talking to her...i have noticed this past week how much i need someone to talk to though..i really miss my friends back home and wish i could just talk to them whenever i want but the distance kinda makes it a problem...

oh well, i kinda need to go now, tricia's roomie is gone again for this weekend so she came down for another sleepover..it's funny though, cause i'm on my bed typing, tricia is on her laptop IMing someone(she was IMing me earlier and it was hilarious) and adrian's on her bed eating some chips..she's the only one really paying attention to the full house episodes we're watching...anyways it'll probably be a long night..good thing the clocks change back an hr...so that we can stay up an extra hour..haha...later~