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7/26/04 -- Leave Your Baggage Behind

Don't you hate dragging a load of luggage through an airport? How would you feel if you had to tote a couple of suitcases, backpacks, and carry-on bags everywhere you went? What torture! And you sure wouldn't get very far very fast.

Similarly, on the journey along God's way, you won't get very far very fast if you are loaded down with a lot of emotional baggage. Our fourth principle for finding God's way to success in your life is to leave your baggage behind. The more junk you get rid of from your past, the easier it will be to navigate through the future.

What kind of baggage are we talking about? Let me answer by introducing a concept we call finishing.

From time to time we all experience difficult, painful events and relationships. For example, someone hurts you physically or emotionally, your parents divorce or a girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you, you make a serious mistake that hurts someone, you lose a loved one in a tragic accident. Ideally, these painful events are resolved in good time. Offenses are confessed, offenders are forgiven, conflicts are resolved, and die incident is finished. We no longer have to carry those burdensome fears and feelings.

However, many times our hurts do not get resolved as they should. Pain is stuffed instead of dealt with. Offenders are not forgiven, fears are not confronted, conflicts are not resolved. In other words, there is no appropriate finishing. As a result, we carry with us from the past feelings and patterns of behavior which impact our relationships and activities in the present, often in a negative way. That's baggage, and baggage doesn't go away until it is dealt with or finished.
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4. FORGIVE OTHERS.

Some of the baggage you carry is the result of being hurt by others. You may be the victim of a parent's lack of love and acceptance. Or perhaps you were betrayed by a partner, abandoned by a friend, dishonored by someone, or misled by a spiritual leader. You were wronged in some way, and you still carry the pain, anger, and perhaps hatred from that offense.

If you are going to leave your baggage behind, you must forgive those who have wounded you. Take your cue from God, who has forgiven your sins. If you don't forgive, your resentment will continue to eat away at your heart and keep you from the freedom you seek on God's way.

Your forgiveness of others does not mean you deny that someone has hurt you, nor does it mean you must trust that person again. The future of your relationship depends on many factors. But forgiveness is about resolving the past. It is about clearing up what has already happened. It is about canceling the debt someone owes you. That's what it means to forgive. You are saying that the offender no longer owes you, that you are releasing him or her from all grudges, penalties, and retribution.

So leave the baggage of past hurts behind. Forgiveness is your ticket of freedom to go forward in your life.

5. EXAMINE YOUR WAYS.

Another part of our baggage relates to patterns of behavior we learned in past, painful situations.

You may have learned dysfunctional patterns for dealing with life, relationships, risk, and love, and these patterns are causing you problems now and holding you back from what God has for you. Take a close look at how you live. If you have trouble allowing people to get close to you, examine that pattern to see how it is limiting your relationships. If you tend to avoid conflict, examine that pattern to see how it is actually prolonging conflict. If you have learned to avoid any risk in an attempt to control your environment, notice how that pattern has imprisoned you.

Behavior patterns from your past may be ruining your present life. Examine your ways of dealing with people and problems which may be trapping you in the past. Allow God to make a way for you into a better future by helping you let go of the patterns of the past.

6. SEE YOURSELF THROUGH NEW EYES.

Another kind of baggage we carry around is the distorted view of ourselves we learned in past relationships or situations. We see ourselves through the people who love us and sometimes through the eyes of those who don't. Our self-concept is a relational vision. We tend to look at ourselves through the eyes of others who are important to us. This is why some people suddenly blossom in healthy new relationships where they are valued as God's creation. It is also how other people grow to loathe themselves in relationships where they are devalued and mistreated.

How do you see yourself? Is your self-view realistic? Is it balanced with strengths and value as well as weaknesses and growth areas? Do you see yourself as loved?

If you are going to move forward in your life and find God's way for you, you must begin to see yourself realistically through the eyes of those who really love you. Begin by taking a look at yourself through God's eyes, for he loves you unconditionally and values you highly. Add to this the images you get from your dearest and most trusted relationships-those who love you as God does. This new you will begin to replace the distorted picture that has caused you such grief.

LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST

In the Bible, when God rescued Lot and his wife from wicked Sodom and Gomorrah, he
warned them against looking back. But Lot's wife was unable to let go of people and things in her past. She looked back and turned into a pillar of salt (see Genesis 19:17-26). Jesus used her as an example when teaching us to let go of harmful things that keep us from him. He said, "Remember Lot's wife!" (LUKE 17:32).

Holding on to the baggage of the past will disable you for your journey with God. His way out is to deliver you from the hurt, unforgiveness, and dysfunctional patterns of your past. Ask him to show you how to leave your baggage behind.

*Content from What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
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ok so this is just something i found, decided to share with you all, anyone who reads this. but yeah, wish i could write more but i can't, i'm somehow unable to form the right words. i will say this, the days have been happier but nights still get me down...oh yeah, i'm going to a sleepover tonight, that should be fun...

~until then...
~me