so let me just tell ya what's been happening...last wed. we didn't have church..i babysitted for val....told her not to pay me..and this time she really didn't...it felt nice, babysitting is not always about the money, plus i gotta job now..but right before i babysat, we had met to talk about the fourth week in the devo, i'd say we kinda upset each other or something...there were tears in her eyes and a pain in my heart...so maybe that's why it felt so nice to babysit after that, i dunno...the past two fridays i had babysitting for michelle...then scrapbooked with her and some of her friends after the boys went to bed. this friday i was at home...it was kinda weird, she told me today how much she missed me that week and was thinking of just inviting me over for a movie, i told her to go ahead next time, it wasn't like i was busy or something. i wrote a letter to morg, adrian, and brit---gave em to them sunday after church, that would be last sunday...brit sent me a note on myspace on friday...morgan and i went to taco bell after i worked and before she had to work. i ate. she ate. we talked....bout school mostly. the rest of sat i did nothing. i tried calling val to see if she or her kids wanted to bike. she wasn't home. i wanted to bike, it was warm. i stayed home and watched smallville instead. i got the second season from the library. sunday at church i was actually in the fours today. the closed my class the past four weeks sticking me in another. i love the kids...second service i stayed and helped too..cause they are short workers and i just don't wanna go to the service anymore. they put me with the two's..they were wild. jen's daughter was in there. she kept blowing bubbles in my face with the other kids. bubbles taste nasty. i'm not going to church tonight. jen asked me to babysit for her small group tonight. small group. so i said yes..it's at church, just right after the high school worship service begins. i bet the girls think i'm avoiding them. i'm not. i love babysitting. seems like things are going ok. at least the way i like to tell things. but i am leaving tons out. the hurting emotions, the pain...and all that other junk that's been going on for years. i wish doing things..going places...and babysitting could change all that...but it's only temporary. my hands are freezing now. i'm getting off. bye~