HA! i was just talking to a friend from school..and she was gonna leave and i told her i'd blog...she told me to do that and she'd read them later. HA! no she won't....unless she ever finds me on here herself...i don't know. i can't let everyone know, only a select few..and my net friends...why? i haven't a clue...maybe cause i don't have to see those ppl...

today was really really boring in fact. and i wasn't gonna blog but now i found out i'm babysitting the whole day tomorrow, nothing like the last min...huh? and well i might not be on in awhile. cause friday i leave for the senior retreat with my church and don't get back til sunday. soo....

i went to the free movie in the morning...it's bookworm wed. or something like that. my sister reads a books, fills out a short book report thingy, and i take her to the movie, and it's free! so we saw Two Brothers today...that was sad...like all the way through til the end. and it was really long...it was only interesting when you saw the tigers and stuff..and i'm not really much into animals but i loved watching them..anyways..then we walked back home. wow, it's soo nice to get somewhere by myself, even if it is on my feet...hehe

but my mom signed me up for driver's ed today. i wished i could have done this sooner...cause i'm almost 18 but oh well. my mom didn't want me to take it at all...but my day INSISTED..and we HAVE to listen to him. here's what i don't get though..when i first got my permit almost 2 years ago...why did he tell me i didn't need driver's ed...when my mom was asking him about it...he told me i wasn't going to do that..and now he says i need it. ahh, it's so frustrating. but after that it means i'm getting my license. too bad i won't be able to drive the van to school, my mom's afraid it'll break down on me, so after i have my license i still would need a car. Sooo looks like i'll be riding the bus again this year..my senior year. i remember when us youngens on the bus were freshman we made fun of the 1 or 2 seniors on the bus...now that's me, although back then i figured it would be anyways...still...

well i was going to ask someone to come over today..but..i never did. and it got too late...i was hoping she would be on the internet cause i didn't feel like calling her...but i took the neighbor's grandkid and nephew and my sister swimming in the neighbor's pool...it seems like i've been swimming there alot. it keeps me occupied, and i'm not at my own house. then i got on the internet for 2 hrs...way past my hr. limit. i don't think it applies at night though cause i've been on for well over an hr. now...no one tries calling here this late..so it doesn't matter.

oh yeah, and when my mom told me to get off earlier...i couldn't think of anything to do..and i was struck by a mood swing. that's always fun right? so i went to my room and just laid on my bed and the tears came...so i turned on the musik loud just cause, it makes me feel better to hear something other than my own crying. that didn't last too long though. cause i did some push ups and crunches again....because the anger started building inside me, geeze i have no idea why this starts happening, i just felt really lonely though, and i hate feeling like that. this has been a rough week for me it seems..and i thought about that....and yes, it's getting to that time of month again...*sigh*...but so far, i haven't hurt myself, i've just cried alot more...and thought about it alot...and again i gave myself a huge headache from all that crying..

hmm....there was something else i was going to say...oh a friend was supposed to come over today but i have to babysit the whole day so that won't work out. it's a relief to me though cause i really didn't want to watch some chinese movie with subtitles. i mean, really! and then i'm going on the retreat..and babysitting all next week, so i'll be busy...this week so far was kinda like my break from being busy with babysitting and i was kinda glad for a break at first, and now i wish i didn't have it...cause that just means more time to myself and more time on the internet and more time in my room...ahh..

but the shoes i ordered online came in the mail today. that was pretty neat. but they seem to be the same size as my old ones...i got half a size smaller...and they're still kinda big, i don't know..but i couldn't get a smaller size than 7 on the internet cause they were in the clearance section...my mom says i just need to get narrow, but they didn't have that on there either...nor in the stores....soo, i'll stick with them..it was just really cool getting shoes in the mail.

i wish someone else would get online so i could talk to them...but nobody's on...geeze, what's the point of having 20 or so buddies on my aim and no of them being there...or i have 30 in my yahoo..and their not on either, well the sn's i recognize, i got ppl i don't know in there, well they're all from tddm...but i still don't know them. and plus alot are probably online, they just stay invisible, i do that sometimes. oh i forgot to sign into my msn..maybe someone's on there... nope, i guess i'll just have to get off and go to bed...hehe thanks for reading!