i can't remember when i wrote last..let's see...yesterday morning, oh yeah, that was at 3:30 in the morning or something like that. yeah, i'm not allowed on in the middle of the night like that anymore. so last night i again..well it was this morning i woke up around 4:30 and i couldn't go back to sleep...i layed in bed for two hrs. trying and then i played some tetris for awhile while listening to musik...but still i couldn't go back to sleep so i got up and watched some joan of arcadia. then around 8 i almost fell back asleep but my mom was up asking me if i was watching tv all night...so she started talking to me, by then i was fully awake again so i got up. maybe i'll take a short nap after this, if i can sleep...cause i have that sleepover tonight over morgan's house with the girls from church.

oh and i'm like 12 in. lighter..hehe i got my hair cut yesterday and i know they took at least that much off. now my hair's to my shoulders and i gave my hair to locks of love...so that's good for some little kid. it feels so weird though and yeah, i kinda miss it...but it was something i had to do. i just know it.

oh and yesterday ppl kept telling me to be honest...in counseling since i was going to that yesterday...first my mom, then val, then the counselor herself. so i figured i better just tell her you know the ways i do hurt myself, no it's not cutting..well now...and i never intend to do that, but it needed to be said. so i promised that this week i wouldn't do anything more to hurt myself if she didn't tell my mom today. and i know i won't cause i can be stubborn like that... and i also gave her the link to this..so she can read it.

another thing is the anti-depressants i'm taking, they're not good for teenage girls or something so i'm going off them...i have to slowly take less and less or something like that cause with these kinds of meds you can't just stop taking them...so that's something else. i'm to expect major mood swings...oh great! and now i'm going to have to go see another doctor to get another kind. and also tomorrow morning is the day i get my wisdom teeth pulled..fun fun...yeah i sound so excited don't i? well that's one of the reasons i needed to do this now cause i won't be able to get on tonight and who knows when i'll feel up to it after i get my teeth pulled.

and i'm going to miss talking with you'll on here, plus all the forums i go too...i'm just so tired now, i don't think i can do it today.

wow, ok i guess that's it for now....i've been up for 10hrs. already...it seems like the day should be over already...but it's only the afternoon...i think maybe i'll go watch joan of arcadia and get some rest before the sleepover...

oh and look at this cool pix of KJ-52 i found. love it!