| why do you try just to only get by when you know that you're hurting inside~KJ-52 |
May 9th, 2005 5:30:16 pm - Subscribe |
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ok so i thought i'd start with a poem in the bible...i couldn't decide which version was better so i put both...they both express what i've been feeling... Psalm 13:1-2(NIV) 1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Psalm 13:1-2(the message) 1Long enough, GOD- you've ignored me long enough. I've looked at the back of your head long enough. 2Long enough I've carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me. I was looking in my old backpack of locked up memories again today and i found that verse written on a piece of paper, i also found one of my own poems which again i thought was horrible and it isn't the best, but it's just an expression of my emotions. i think i wrote it out of anger in a bout 5 min. i dated it and put a time on it. it was written January 1, 2005 at 1:00 in the morning. New Year's....so i don't know what you did on your new year's but here's what i did... Times of Trouble The hurt inside me always comes back The loneliness settles into my heart All I seem to do is yell and scream At my brother to leave me alone ...all day long... I'm sick of my life, sick of my home I'm lonely but I can't be alone So if I can't be alone, I call a friend Hoping, Wishing, Dreaming of staying with her, away from my home Not today she says, call you tomorrow Eagerly I wait, and wait, and wait My eagerness turns to anger and sadness too, why didn't she call? I don't have a clue Needing to leave, get out of the house But no one to call, no one to ask The realization hits me, I cry to myself She's the only friend I had And I have lost her too... So again I'm feeling all alone in this world My depressing thoughts of suicide return I want a way out, don't want to deal with the mess The hurt, the pain, and the loneliness I thought I had a best friend I know now I am wrong Cause the tears on my face show I'm alone Regretting the phone call Cause it revealed the truth Wishing it was warm out so I could go away Far away on my wonderful bike And get all the anger out of myself For now I'll write this hoping to feel better Releasing my tears for no one to see No one to hear, and no one to comfort me i'm not mad at her anymore, writing things just gets it out, my anger, though we still aren't the best of friends, i'm willing to work on that soon hopefully...the rest of my journaling i did in my real journal, which was weird since i haven't in so long, i just wanted to post this poem for some reason...oh and i still am feeling awful but Joan of Arcadia Seson 1 comes out tomorrow, maybe i'll go get it after i see my counselor...that will make me happy for a little while... i hope you're not getting sick of KJ-52's lyrics yet, maybe i'll listen to something else this week... ~~ |
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| mood: forgotten : just finished The Still of Night |
(4) rain_drops |
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perfect110 |
May 09th, 2005 |
| wow... i can so relate to you... and the poem wasn't bad at all. It is just so weird how much that sounds like my life! I also love KJ52... and the bible verses.. are you a christian? I am, and it's always nice to find someone else kinda like me... because it's hard to find people that believe in God yet are still messed up.. anyways.. you sound a lot like me... | ||
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fairytales |
May 09th, 2005 |
| aww Jes, I'm so sorry I havent been on emo blog lately, I feel terrible about that....I didnt think anyone really cared though, lol, I'm glad you do, I'll try and get on here more often and post comments, and blogs, hahaha! I loved the poem, I'v written a bunch like that, *sigh* not cool, I hate the feeling of being alone and like no one cares...especially the people you thought would always be there....anywho, ow, my tummy hurts, and im feeling fat, again....but yeah, I pray for you all the time....I'm almost always online, lol...as invisible mostly...anytime you wanna tlak though, e-mail me(not at nobodys_promise, but either indomitable_fantasy@yahoo.com, or obliviously_unknown@yahoo.com)and I'll write you back! <Promise that< God bless! *hug* | ||
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kitty |
May 10th, 2005 |
ohh jes I am so sorry that I can't understand what is going on your life. I am not good at talking about problems at life or school whatever but I would like to help. I don't know how but I might have a idea just talk to me when you can. allrighty  . |
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rain_drop |
May 10th, 2005 |
| thanks everyone..and i got your im perfect110, we'll talk soon. oh and kitty~ya gonna update anytime soon? thanks again! oh yeah, and kat~what's your sn? is it on one of the forums cause i might have it if it is. |
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